Talk To Me Tuesday - Cheese and Apples

Good Day Blogstalkers,

I think I've mentioned before that Ryan is nuts for technology.  So when the new iPhone came out recently, he rushed to buy it through pre-sale.  He's using my update because I'm perfectly happy with his old phones.  But sometimes I do make him beg a little.  Just to brighten up my day.  Today he was notified his phone was ready and so he informed me he would be picking it up at lunch.  The following is our chat conversation on the subject.

Lauren: I'm so confused.  You want the new phone because it's SO BIG.  But the last time you wanted a new phone it was because it was SO SMALL.  I clearly remember the conversation.  Because you were trying to convince me to give you my last update for the tiny phone and I was like, RYAN, either size matters or it does not.  And then you were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Ryan: Fine.  Size matters.  Final answer.

Lauren: Alright but if a new iPhone comes out in like a year and it's the eensiest weensiest thing, so small you can barely see it and you are like, "It's so small though! It fits right over the top of one of your molars." I'm going to remind you of this conversation.  And then you are not going to get that phone.  And I am going to use your update to get it.  And we will be out to dinner together and your clunky phone will ring and you'll have to wrestle it out of your pocket and smash your palm against the screen to turn it on and breathlessly say "Hello?"  And I will just tap the outside of my cheek lightly to activate my dental-phone, which I've just dialed with my tongue to call you, and barely whisper, "Are you jealous of my phone?"  And you can not get mad.

Ryan:  Fine, whatever, so I can have your update?

Lauren: You've agreed to my term, so yes.  Are you going to geek out about your new phone and laud it across all your social media platforms?

Ryan: No I am not going to do that.  I'm going to be quietly euphoric.

Lauren: Actually...how would you even share a picture of your new phone if you wanted to?  It's not possible!  I've found a loophole in Apple technology.  A wormhole I guess technically.  Wait, these new phones can't take pictures of themselves can they?

Ryan: I really don't think that's a feature anyone wants.

Lauren: What!? Yes it is.  People would love to be self-photographic.  Imagine if all humans had cameras built in.  I would adore not having to carry my huge camera around.  I could like, go to the Eiffel Tower and stand in front of it and just like...blink...and have a timeless photo of myself.

Ryan: I don't think blinking would be best way to use this camera.  You'd have your eyes closed in every picture.

Lauren: Huh...How would you make it work then?  Saying "cheese" is obviously out.  If my picture got taken every time I did that then I'd just have a million pictures of me blurrily running toward Parisian cheese stands or sitting wide-eyed in front of the mini-fridge at the hotel shoving a hunk of gouda in my mouth.

Ryan: Lovely.

Lauren: And the hotel desk people would be like, "Mademoiselle we got the note you left about how you'd like your mini-cheese-bar restocked, "this time with full-size cheeses" because a "probable mouse" must have eaten everything that was in your fridge because it certainly wasn't you that ate all that cheese, and even if it was, that wouldn't be shameful because this hotel basically has the daintiest cheeses ever."

Ryan: Oh dear lord.

Lauren: And I'd be like, "Yes, a big fat mouse ate all that cheese."  And they'd be all, "Well actually we know it was you because you were using our wireless network and your mind photos were automatically uploaded to Le Nuage (which is The Cloud in French)...and well...

In gym clothes, eating cheese.

And then Ryan stopped responding.

Talk to me Blogstalkers.  Eaten anything good with cheese lately?  Read any good books?  Today I ate tiny microwaveable beef and cheese tacos for lunch while I read Accounting for dummies (to maintain all of my professional knowledge whilst I am being a mom) so I really need help in both areas.


48 comments:

  1. Can we be besties? Never a dull moment! And maybe, just maybe, your coolness would rub off on me.

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    Replies
    1. Sure! My most recent best friend moved across the country for like, love or something, I don't know really. So the position is totally available.

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    2. Great! I'm rather fond of cheese, and rollicious babies! <------- The word totally works, right?

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    3. Absolutely! Now I want cheese on a roll. Probably with some ham, a little mustard, maybe some macaroni salad on the side, brownie for dessert...

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    4. Wait! I want to compete with jessie for new bestie status. My offer is that I don't like cheese much..wait, wait don't delete me yet...therefore, YOU could have all the cheeses around us. I would never, ever utter the words "No Lauren, that's MY cheese." It would never happen.

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    5. Hmmm, you make a pretty solid argument. But what would we talk about if like..."Unexpected things that go well with goat cheese" were off the table? H

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    6. Well, I just assume that whatever you want will go with goat cheese. I will never, ever know that for myself. So basically, you get all the cheeses and you get to launch into a soliloquy about all the wonderful things to go with cheese. So basically, you have someone who won't steal your cheese, will listen to you talk about cheese without interrupting or arguing, and will tickle your baby. Really, what more could you want?

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    7. So basically, I need to stop saying so basically. Sheesh.

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    8. Sounds perfect! Off to buy best friend necklaces from Claire's!

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    9. Excuse me but i feel like i definitely need to know about 'Unexpected things that go well with goats cheese'

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    10. Psh! You can not have a best friend who not only does not LOVE cheese, but doesn't know how to hold intelligent conversations about all things cheese.
      I win.

      ;)

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    11. Baked sweet potatoes go very well with goat cheese. Baked a sweet potato, peel off the skin, smash it up, throw on some feta, some chèvre, whatever, then sprinkle on some baby spinach. Delicious.

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  2. I would go to France just to get a cheese mini-bar.

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    1. France is on my Stomach List (like a Bucket List, but with only food) just for cheeses. And bread.

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    2. If you go to Paris, go to the O'Chateau wine & cheese class (it's in English) - there are platefuls of delicious cheese and you just get to drink and eat delicious cheeses for a few hours! it was amazing!

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  3. I just celebrated winning a DietBet by gorging on fried cheese cubes. I'm not sure if I'm horrified with myself or proud.

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    Replies
    1. Cheese is such an emotionally complicated food product.

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    2. Were these fried cheese curds, or just cubes of cheese? Both are awesome in their own way but I've only recently been introduced to fried cheese curds and they are made of magic and deliciousness.

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    3. Proud.
      You should definitely be proud.

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  4. We went to the cheese shop the other day. Extra sharp cheddar, two kinds of cheese curds, vegetable yogurt, Mediterranean, beer cheese, and smoked something (can't remember the name, but it was delicious!).

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    Replies
    1. My sister calls my fridge The Cheese Shop! She's always stopping by to browse. Also, now I want cheese curds. But that's not really a new development.

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    2. Cheese curds are awesome.

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  5. I made a broccoli cheese casserole the other day and doubled the amount of gouda it called for because it wasn't nearly enough. Even after that it still wasn't enough, but I was too impatient to wait for more cheese to melt.

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    Replies
    1. Haha! I make Cooking Light recipes for dinner for us most nights and I completely ignore their cheese guidelines. 1/8 cup of Parmesan isn't cutting it thank you very much.

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  6. Every time one of my co-workers jaunts off to Europe (and by every time, I mean both co-workers that have jaunted off to Europe - and by Europe, I mean Amsterdam - yes, both of them and no, not at the same time) they bring back delicious cheese for me to enjoy. Or for everyone to enjoy. One of those.

    Basically, yesterday I ate a little cheese cube that was salty and delicious and fresh from Amsterdam. And it was amazing. I obviously wished there was more, but as there wasn't, I settled for the remaining block of Amish Swiss that I hid in the work fridge. Because Amish + Swiss kind of equals Amsterdam, right?

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    1. My sister's boyfriend brought me back like a GIGANTIC WHEEL of cheese from Amsterdam! And then they were like, "Let's open it!" And I was like...."Maybe after you leave..."

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    2. He sounds like a keeper!

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  7. There have been many times that I've wished I could blink in the right pattern and my brain-camera would take a picture of whatever I'm looking at.

    If someone wanted to all old school with it they could put the slot for the Polaroid pictures to come out of the back of their head and make all the noises the old cameras made. Then they'd reach back and pull the picture out from the back of their head and shake it even though you're not supposed to.

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    Replies
    1. I never even knew you weren't supposed to shake it. I blame The Black Eyed Peas.

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    2. Yup. Polaroid actually released a report saying something along the lines of "Despite what you might have heard in today's popular music, do NOT shake your Polaroid pictures; that will screw them up. Thank you." It might have been worded differently but it's the gist.

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    3. I should mention though that I was shaking Polaroid Pictures long before that song came out, when I was in college. This makes me feel old.

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    4. Don't worry, I was doing it before the song too, back when I should have been in college. So I guess we're both old.

      That song, by the way, came out 11 years ago.

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  8. I wish people could be genetically modified to get all their nutrition needs from cheeses. If for nothing else than Brie. Non-dairy food groups are for chumps. (on that note - brie with honey. I'm living the dream)

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    1. Good brie is proof that the Universe loves us and wants us to be happy.

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    2. Brie is one of the cheeses that causes me to be SO SICK for like an hour afterward. It's totally and completely worth it. Ryan says he's going to start hiding a little Ambien in my Brie so that at least I'm asleep for the worst of it and then he doesn't have to listen to me complain. This is also how he gives the dogs pills so I feel insulted.

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    3. Honey on Brie? I have never tried that! sounds amazing! Is it honey in the brie, or do you just put the honey on the brie? Brie is my favorite of all cheeses, so scrumptious!

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    4. I like fried brie with cranberry chutney. I could eat it a lllllll day. Then roll myself to bed, happily.

      Also my Whole Foods cheese monger told me there is a special honey called "cheese honey" made to pair with cheese. I may have drooled on the cheese case as he was describing it.

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  9. I love those mini beef and cheese tacos. SO GOOD! I buy mine at Target. And eat the whole box. I never really try new cheeses, but my fave is provolone. Sometimes I just eat slices of provolone for lunch. No meat, no bread, just cheese.

    As for reading, I'm not sure we like the same stuff, but I just read Elin Hilderbrand's new book, and it was great. I also love bookbub, they email me every day and suggest different books for me to download to my kindle. It makes me a little sad that my "library" has stopped growing these past 3 years since I bought my kindle. Haven't really added to it at all. :(

    Phone convo with Ryan, size matters! HA HA HA HA! I really love your sense of humor!!

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    1. They're so good and so disgusting at the same time. It's horrible and wonderful all at once.

      Is that the Unbroken (or something similar) book? If so, then I think I have it sitting in my reading pile. Which is huge. Like you know how most normal people but a book on top of their nightstand? Well I am pretty sure I could stack my nightstand on top of my pile of bedside books.

      (And that's totally why I refuse to use an eReader...I'm sure they're fantastic, Ryan loves his, but they make me a little bit sad.)

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  10. Last week I met my friend for drinks (I feel so grown-up saying that!), and she convinced me to try the new wine shop. So I convinced her to try the cheese/fruit/bread plate (she's one of those healthy people who doesn't eat bread. Win-win, as I get to keep all the breadiness to myself). She ate all the fruit, I ate all the bread, and we fought over the most amazing herbed boursin. Seriously, if we hadn't been in public, it might have gone to blows.

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  11. I so want some cheese........the veggie cheese just isn't the same..... darn allergies!!

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  12. Oh Em Gee, how I love cheese!

    I recently finished Horns by Joe Hill. Now I can't wait to see Harry Potter in the movie adaptation this Halloween.

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  13. I was just prepping my lunch and a co-worker said to me "What's for lunch?" and I replied "Low Cholesterol veggies and cheese" and scoffed at me and said "Low cholesterol cheese??" and I replied "I make cheese into what ever it needs to be in order to be apart of my meal"

    Then the other day my pesky roommate came home and exclaimed she had gotten me some new gouda "different from what you normally get, its from Holland instead of The Netherlands" when I told her that although all gouda is from The Netherlands/Holland because they are the same thing" she informed me I was "wrong" and I informed her that if there are 2 things I know about its "my Gouda and The Netherlands (my dad was born there) and while not all goudas are created the equal because of the aging process and the flavors for example smoked and flavored. Gouda made in Holland was the same as Gouda made in The Netherlands" she proceeded to insist her newly purchased gouda was different. I had to take a long walk because....CHEESE!

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  14. You will LOVE Google Glass when it is affordable in about a decade - you take a picture just by winking! A perv's delight, to be sure. Not that you're a perv.

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  15. I wanted to take a picture of my new phone case and had the same conundrum. Then I remembered mirrors.

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  16. GRILLED CHEEZZZEYY CHEEZE

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  17. Aww I miss reading you all the time. I must rectify that.

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