Charmed, I'm Sure.

Hello Blogstalkers.

Pulling inspiration from the fact that schools are starting all over the place right now, I thought we could play a little game today.

You know how sometimes in a new class a teacher or professor would make you go around the room and say your name, something interesting about yourself and like...something you were excited to learn this year?  And how that was the worst because you had severe social anxiety issues and also this was goddamned calculus and you were not excited to learn any of it?

And then it was your turn and you were all, "Umm my name is Lauren and I guess I'm excited to learn how to graph parabolas." And the teacher was all, "You should have learned that in Algebra a couple of years ago."  And then you were all, "Yes, well..."

And the teacher was thankfully about to move on to the next student but then remembered you had not said anything interesting about yourself so because they were rotten they came back to you to complete your introduction and you got flustered and were like, "I don't know! I get strep throat a lot?!"

At which point the teacher moved on and in your head you were all "Oh good job LAUREN.  Looks like yet another year with no boyfriends."

No? That was just me then?

Well anyway.  We're totally going to do that today.

Because of how fun it is.

A sort of reintroduction if you will, since I've been blogging so irregularly with the pregnancy and the baby and the everything else.

I'll start.

Hi, I'm Lauren Rae.  I'm 30 years old and have a 7 month old daughter named Fiona Violet.  Here is a picture of her:


I no longer get strep throat a lot because I had my tonsils removed when I was 21.  I still do not have any boyfriends.  I do have one husband.  His name is Ryan.  Here is a picture of him:


Here is a picture of the two of them together.  

He's not one for shirts.


Ryan and I got into a small verbal skirmish yesterday after he was in the shower and his friend texted him asking if they were still on for dinner and I burst into the bathroom and relayed the message to Ryan and asked him if he wanted me to respond.  "Just say something I would say," he told me. So I texted "Hump gump turkey sandwich."  Which apparently, was unhelpful and "didn't sound like him at all."  So then I texted like five more people "Who am I being? Hump Gump Turkey Sandwich" and all five of them responded with "Ryan, obviously."  So I think we all know who won that argument.

I am a voracious reader and through reading have acquired a pretty good vocabulary.  Ryan is always trying to find words in the books that he reads that I can not define.  Earlier this year he called me and was like, "I think I've finally found one...jodhpur."  And I was like, "Seriously RYAN, that's pants.  I mean, I have always expected that due to lack of exposure to them, you wouldn't know much about shirts.  But I was hopeful you'd know things about pants."  At which point, all frustrated that he had failed to foil me yet again he shouted, "I'm sorry I don't know more about pants!" and then more quietly, "I have to go, I'm at work."

He used to just text me these words but then if I ever took too long to respond he would think I was googling the definition.  Then he would rush home from work and check the search history on the computer to make sure I wasn't cheating.  So then I started googling things like "What does the name Ryan mean? Does it mean dumb?," and "How do I tell my husband that basically the entire back of his hair is turning gray?"  And sure enough one day, after he'd texted me the word 'scrim' (which is like a group of trees) and I'd taken too long to reply, I heard him clicking away on the computer.

"Oh HAHA Lauren, you're just hilarious," he called when he found the search history.  But then later I found him trying to look at the back of his head in the mirror.  

When we were looking for a house this year, we saw one where the backyard simply would not work for us.  "Hmmm I don't know about this yard," I said to Ryan, "I feel like it would be nice to have a good scrim of trees in the back so that if you wanted to traipse around in like, jodhpurs and nothing else, the neighbors wouldn't complain."

Sometimes I feel bad for my husband.

Other times I think he probably brought this on himself.

I love pasta and new notebooks and Calvin & Hobbes and magic.  I dislike tea and visible electronic cords and the summer and pedicures.

I spend a lot of my free time rescuing the tiny frogs that jump into my storm drain every time it rains.  Once my next door neighbor saw me doing this and let me also rescue the frogs in his storm drain.  Then he was like, "You must be an animal lover huh?" and then we had a really good conversation about animals.

Later that week Ryan was all, "Did you try to convince the neighbor that "Wildebeest" is pronounced "Wild Beast" with a silent E and that a group of them is called a "Ye Olde"?"  And I was like, "Maybe I did that, I can't be certain.  Why?  Did you check his internet search history?  Was he googling about it?"  And then Ryan left me alone.

And now I'll leave you all alone. 

Because it's your turn to tell me about you.  What's your name?  What's something interesting about you?  Spill Blogstalkers, I'm listening.  

P.S.  Sometimes I write places other than this blog.  This is one of those sometimes-es.  Two of those sometimes-es actually.



116 comments:

  1. Hey there, I'm Jeremiah!

    The most interesting thing about me is my adorable daughter which totally counts as "about me" because I said so, so there.

    Okay, fine. I'm told I have a pretty decent singing voice (and I WANT to believe it) so I've entered and won a couple of karaoke contests. I've lost WAY more. That's kind of interesting, right?

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    1. Ahh Karaoke! I have like a weirdly irrational relationship with it. I go (or used to go, back when I went places) and then I sign up to sing with a group of people (never ever alone) and then I sit there and wish for the machine to break or the bar to burn down or something.

      It is brave to sing karaoke.

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    2. Maybe one of these days our significant others can watch the little ones while we go sing karaoke. :) You know, when we're not busy.

      Hahahahahahahaha. Ha... *sigh* "Not busy."

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    3. Sure I'll go. But I'm not singing. I assure you I would not win any contests unless there was a contest of everyone in the bar votes to see who they think should have to leave just to make sure no one hears them sing again.

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  2. Hi, I'm Kindall H., I'm 27 years old with a 10.5 month old baby girl named Piper. I too enjoy Calvin and Hobbes, funny that this should come up because I was trying to convince my husband to name our baby Calvin (This was only if we had a boy, obviously we didn't) so that I could buy him a stuffed tiger (to be named Hobbes) so they could have grand adventures. He didn't think it was such an awesome idea to name our kid after a comic book character, but then he agreed to name our daughter after the main character in Orange is the New Black, so I don't think he realizes what makes a good name role model. Anywho, I think I got off topic...

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    1. Calvin was absolutely on my list of boys' names. I'm pretty sure I would not have been able to sneak that one past Ryan either.

      And we love Orange is the new Black! We tore through the second season in like two days when it came out.

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  3. My name is Amanda. I live on the south side of Chicago and I'm from New Buffalo, MI. I love watching sports (Go Bears! Go Sox!). I love the beach, reading, running, and eating. I don't like winter, spiders, clowns or anyone touching my belly button. Sometimes I like my job. I wish I could win the lotto.

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    1. No! Don't Go Sox! Stop Sox! I suppose I'll agree with you on the Bears though.

      Also, how on earth do you manage the winters here? I love the snow so that gets me through to like January at least. Then I go crazy. I can't imagine hating winter from the outset!

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  4. Okay. We have to have a talk about that baby of yours. I know sometimes it can be hard to hear these things. Just take a deep breath and try to receive this in the spirit it was intended. Okay? Are you ready?

    She is stinkin' adorable.

    There I said it.

    Oh, the rules? My name is Kasie. Seeing your baby is the best thing that has happened to me all day. It's been one of those days. Unfortunately, due to a pretty severe and cruel rejection recently, I don't believe there is a single interesting thing about me at the moment. Maybe that will change, maybe it won't. I bought a new couch this weekend and dumped it in the mud. That was interesting. Otherwise, I don't have a lot.

    But that baby is stinkin' adorable.

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    1. Haha well thank you! I always think she is super adorable but I also know that I'm probably dealing with a big old case of Mommy Goggles, so it's nice to hear from others.

      I'm sorry you're having such a crap day. If I knew magic I'd magic some magic into your day. But alas, I'm unable to incant. I hope it gets better!

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  5. Hey there! I'm MomQueenBee. (Yes, I have another name, but whatever.) Husband and I raised four Boys and are now empty nesters. In 20 years or so you will discover that the empty nest is awesome, like dating with no pressure. For now, though, nibble that baby's toes for me because I am craving grandchildren. Something interesting about me? Uhhh, ermmm, I like your vocabulary, and this morning used the word "avoirdupois" in my blog.

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    1. Oh I will totally nibble her toes all day today. And also, I seriously did not know what "avoirdupois" meant and had to google it. Let's not tell Ryan OK?

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    2. Share with the class, Miss Google-Pants

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    3. Ahem - Avoirdupois - It's like a synonym of sorts for weight. Like, I go on a diet every time I get to a certain avoirdupois. I could be using that incorrectly.

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  6. I'm Mandy and I'm the mom of a 5 1/2 little girl named Emily.

    I work from home doing tech support and I'm an aspiring writer - I blog and I'm also trying to edit my first novel.

    I love geeky things - big fan of Firefly, Doctor Who and Disney. Disney World is my favorite place and I've got a Haunted Mansion costume I'm wearing for the first time at Dragon Con in a few weeks.

    I have chronic pain which isn't fun - but I manage ok despite having the same headache for 11 years.

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    1. First, I am SORRY about the headache. Chronic pain is so unfortunate and I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

      Also, Disney World is awesome, obviously.

      I never got into Doctor Who. Everyone tells me I have to watch it and I just...well...haven't. Yet. It's on my list I swear it.

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  7. My name is Jenna, I am 20 years old. I live in Southern California in a tiny town that has a population of 5(okay more than that but it is tiny) and about one hour from LA. But I do live 30 minutes from the beach. So I basically live in the middle of everything cool.

    Funny story, I have had constant strep and am getting my tonsils taken out in two weeks! I'm super afraid of recovery cause I've heard horror stories!

    I'm not a very interesting person. I like to drink tea, read books, and cuddle with my cat. She's currently sleeping on me at the moment. She's getting really fat and it's starting to hurt to breathe if she lays on me too long. I'm trying to wiggle my way from her at the moment but she won't budge.

    I am a country girl(who lives is so cal), I'm huge in agriculture, I've spent my entire life working with livestock. And just spent the last week serving as the lamb and goat chairman at the county fair. Does that make me interesting? Probably not. :)

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    1. Ok first, the goat chairman thing, SUPER interesting. I'm sort of jealous. I do love a good goat.

      And don't worry too much about the tonsillectomy recovery. It was painful but really you just have to lay in bed and read or watch movies or seasons or tv shows for like a week. It's kind of a nice little respite. Plus, it's the best diet ever. Also, here is a trick. McDonald's cheeseburgers are really mushy when you smash them. Also, overcooked zucchini.

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  8. Hi I am Tessa.
    I live in Color-Rado
    I love Summer, hate the Winter - I become an angry bitter woman once the leaves change.
    I am a recovering Mountain Dewaloholic, it has been 2 weeks 5 days since my last drink of the bubbly due to my new migraine meds which have decided to take away my carbonation taste buds.
    I have an awesome 8 year old boy who totally thinks it is cool to fart and ask his mom to smell it.
    Last but not least one of my dogs is deaf and blind and is also the grandpug to the pug in Men Black!!!! To bad he don't talk it would solve all is issues haha

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    1. I LOVE Colorado. It's the one place Ryan and I think we could maybe move to someday. He's desperate to be nearer to some good skiing.

      And that is awesome about the grandpug! My dogs aren't interesting at all. They lay around doing nothing famous.

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    2. I live in Colorado Springs, my office view is Pikes Peak and a 3 minute drive to Garden of the Gods. Pretty state, love the summers but don't care for the winters. I wanna be a snowbird when I get older. Plenty of skiing here!!! We just got snow on the Peak this week even with 80 degree temps right down mountain.

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    3. Ahh! That sounds amazing. I'm a crap skier but I would love to sit in the lodge whilst Ryan made his way down the mountain!

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  9. My name's DeAnna & I'm 29.
    I love puns and clever jokes and plays on words. I love Scrabble but don’t like Words with Friends because you can use words that don’t really exist.
    I organize my cookbooks by color. It’s just prettier that way
    I consistently have a pile of books on my nightstand ready for reading, yet I continue to buy new ones to add to the pile.
    I have a ridiculously good penguin dance. It was so good that I wrote my college essay about it and got in.
    I love your blog to pieces, you're one of the funniest bloggers around. And your baby is the most adorable.

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    1. I am VERY interested in this penguin dance of yours...

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    2. Also in Words with Friends you can cheat. I found out about this after Ryan was frustrated that he kept losing to me and to my mom and then started cheating. There's an actual app you can use to cheat at that game.

      And I also have the bedside pile of books that never ends. Ryan thinks I should replace them with a Kindle. But I will never ever do that.

      (And Thanks!)

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    3. Also, Katie (Words for Worms) the very first thing I thought was "Katie has got to hear about this penguin dance" as soon as I read that sentence!

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  10. Hello, my name is also Mandy. I have a 12 year old daughter/clone. I love to read & craft pretty pictures. I LOVE Hello Kitty, Stephen King, Diana Gabaldon, old VW buses & frogs. I have survived childbirth, 2 back surgeries, and a kidney stone that almost killed me, so I think of myself as a pretty tough bleeeeep, but get me near a spider & I'm a total wimp. Oh, and I have an affliction that has no known diagnosis where my neck muscles spasm out of control & have actually tried to kill me. But I've been deemed medically unexplainable, which is awesome only on opposite day.

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    1. My family had a car game involving old VW buses growing up. It wasn't the "now I get to hit you" game either. It was much more complex. It involved yelling "Beaver!" when you saw a regular VW or "Beaver Van!" when you saw a van or "Junkyard Beaver!" when you saw a dump that assuredly had at least one VW in it. And so on and so forth. And then you got points that were awarded randomly by my father. I have no idea how this game was invented or why it involved the word 'beaver'.

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    2. Makes complete sense. :)

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    3. Also I'm sorry that of your whole comment I glommed onto that one VW bit. I also love Diana Gabaldon. Are you watching Outlander on Starz?

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  11. I'm Katie, and I like books and penguins. This morning I had a conversation with my dental hygienist about Harry Potter, wherein I chastised her for not naming her new black puppy Sirius. (For the record, she went with Obi Wan, which is suitably nerdy, but a lost opportunity.)

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    1. I have an orchid in my house that is named Parvati Petal, so, I totally get you.

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    2. Jim keeps buying orchids and naming them "Orchy." He also keeps killing them. Better that I don't get too attached.

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    3. Ryan suggested Orchy! But I shot that down. These boys. Pffft.

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  12. My names is Brittany. I am 28 and live in small town Mississippi. I am a stay at home mom to my two girls, Saylor (2), Breezy (15m), and our Great Dane, Memphis. Oh and I am newly pregnant with baby #3 due in March. I love Harry Potter, mimosas, The Real Housewives shows, unique baby names, and sweatpants.

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    1. Congratulations on the Baby #3! I'm actually really intrigued to know the name of your third little one but no pressure! Obviously you do not need to tell me, a weird internet person who is creepily bothering you about it.

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    2. Hah! I will tell you the name once we find out the sex and narrow one day. Of course by then you will be why is this creepy online person telling me her unborn child's name! My husband doesn't not share my love of unique baby names, so baby naming negotiations are intense, although he let Breezy slide.

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    3. Yes! I shall wait with breaths bated.

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  13. You have such a wit about you...

    My name is Caron, and I married a man who cooks me dinner every night. That's right girls... eat your heart out. He's a former chef (now accountant) and even simple meals are brilliant. That's pretty much the most interesting thing about me and it's not even about me at all. Gosh. Well, I have a 6 month old standard poodle named Jethro who is the most amazing and sweet pup ever. I live a few blocks from the beach here in Florida and I really hate the summers (too hot, too rainy) but I do love feeling like I'm on vacation every weekend. I'm 35 years old and am WAY ready for a baby but my 39 year old husband is not. I'm hoping that he's going to decide he's ready this winter. I need all the good vibes you can give. We love to travel (just got back from Michigan this past weekend and are heading to Seattle and Olympic National Park in September) so he thinks about kids and just sees dollar signs. He is an accountant after all. Which, side note, is partly why I just love love love the name of your blog. It makes me smile. You make me smile. Thanks for sharing your world with us.

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    1. Sending baby dust your way Caron! And really no one should be surprised that your husband is wonderful. Accountants make the best spouses.

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  14. I'm Meg and I'm mom to a SUPER cute five month old girl named Maeve. We live in Denver. My husband announced that Maeve was a boy when she was born. He claims it was because of my 32 hour labor and he "was tired and there was a lot going on." It's simultaneously one of my favorite things about him and something that he'll never live down. My dream job is to be a pentathlete. The fact that I'm only good at one of the sports is neither here nor there. I am a Halloween/dress up fanatic! I can't stand it when people say, "I could care less." I also hate potatoes.

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    1. I love the name Maeve! And I don't even know which sports are part of the pentathlon but I can assure you I'm good at none of them. Is there running? I'm not good at that for sure.

      And I don't hate potatoes but I do dislike french fries.

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  15. AHAHAHAHAH that post cracked me up. That picture of Ryan is priceless. The one with the hat because when there is a picture of Fiona I am not looking at Ryan. SORRY RYAN!
    Oh right intros:
    Hi! My name is Andrea. And I have a daughter that's the same exact age as Fiona with clothes that are not nearly as cute. She throws up a lot.
    I love books - mysteries, romances, biographies (b/c I am nosy) and if I inadvertently ready a book that's part of a series I MUST go back and read the entire series. Starting in the middle of a series in nonsense.
    I love pedicures. And manicures. And anything that requires someone else making me pretty because I have a 7 month old and a shower is a luxury and because I wear throw up a lot.
    My husband does magic! Not for a living or anything but for fun and he made money doing said magic during college. This was well before the internet. He's old.
    Apparently the most interesting thing about me is I have a husband that does magic, a baby that throws up a lot and I don't shower often (enough).

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    1. Ha! Glad to have made you laugh!

      Also, Fiona spits up A LOT. Like they keep paging me at the gym to come change her clothes while she's spending literally 30 minutes in daycare so I can get in a workout. I have to explain daily that she's just a spitty baby and that she is not in fact sick. Everything I own, couches, rugs, clothes, everything, gets covered in spit up daily. I spend half my life cleaning up spit.

      The (because I am nosy) remark totally made me laugh out loud for real!

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    2. Well why else would you read a biography? :) Oh our poor couches. And our sheets. And our mattress. C mastered the throwing up all over (insert expensive item/other person's clothing here) and not getting a drop on herself. Unless it's a REALLY big spit up which just guarantees a huge smile and a laugh. Oh babies.

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  16. I wrote a lovely long intro comment and it hasn't shown up. I apologize if this repetitive and just remember the original post was way funnier.

    Hi, I'm Julie. I'm 37 (GASP), I live in Massachusetts. In May, I got married for the second time, except this time it was to the right man. Our wedding was in my mom's backyard near a beautiful scrim and we all wore some form of jodhpurs AND shirts RYAN. Our wedding was Up themed (the Pixar movie) with balloons as decorations and we wore pins that we got in Disney World that look like grape soda bottle caps. I am a Disney geek (and sci-fi, Doctor Who etc. I love Karen Hallion's Who / Disney mashup artwork).

    I am the creator of the Lauren's Literary Lounge Facebook group, I love books, they are my favorite way to escape.

    I don't have pierced ears because I am allergic to earrings and had to have mine surgically removed when I was 12. A year later they discovered I still had an earring back in my left earlobe and I had to have that removed as well. I am the only person I know who has had their earlobe x-rayed.

    I am supremely envious of your gorgeous, pudgy baby. I spent my whole life thinking I didn't want children only to realize I hadn't found the right father for them yet. Now we are trying to have one, but that's a secret. :)

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    1. Sorry Julie! I'll check the spam filter, sometimes it gobbles up normal comments.

      I LOVE that your wedding was UP themed. The beginning of that movie never fails to make me teary.

      I do have pierced ears and they seem to fare alright but I did have massive allergic reactions to my eyebrow rings when I had my eyebrow pierced twice. I had to have both removed, though not surgically thank goodness.

      And tons and tons of baby dust your way! (secretly)

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  17. I'm Sara, mom to Declan (who is only 6 days older than Fiona!), wife to Shawn, and a Portlandia dweller. I work in accounting part-time and I own a photography business. I also am very very slowly working on opening an Etsy shop. I collect hobbies - lots of them. I don't have misbehaved tonsils, but I do have a thyroid that likes to give me attitude. I wish I read more, but I am becoming quite the connoisseur of children's books. I love coffee, food, being outdoors, travelling, naps, sitcoms, fancy soap, and pajamas. Someday I'd love to visit Chicago (never been) and take you out for some cheese.

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    1. Sara I totally forgot you live in Portland. And now I am going to force you to meet my best friend Vanessa who moved there like a month ago. She's an accountant as well so obviously she's fascinating. Plus she loves all that hiking outdoorsy stuff that I see pictures of on your IG account.

      And if you ever come to Chicago I'm making you take me out for cheese now. I know all the best cheese places in the city.

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  18. Hi! I'm Sara H and I live in the super pretty, historic Bristol, RI. 37, married to Rob, bonus mom to Claire (who lives in the Chicagoland area, so I'm pretty much always there, eating all the foods). We have a super spoiled cat named Mayhem who loves salted caramel gelato and watching Netflix marathons with me.
    I couldn't live without pizza, pasta, cheese, cupcakes, iced coffee, Vernor's or Pinterest. I carry a book everywhere I go, because reading is my favorite thing above all other things, except maybe Christmas.
    My favorite cocktails are dirty martinis, gin and tonics and glasses of bubbly, because I pretend I'm a fancy lady in a fab dress at a 1950's supper club when I drink them.
    I Instagram a whole lot and I laugh loudly.

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    1. Sara I love this comment! "Reading is my favorite thing above all other things, except maybe Christmas" as well and my favorite drinks are all exactly the same as yours, except I also love a good dark beer.

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  19. Hello, I'm Jessica. I have lived in Colorado for most of my life, but I was born in Alaska. That's usually my standard "interesting thing about me" fact.

    I have no kids (and no plans for them much to my mom's dismay). I do have a dog, a cat and three aquariums, so I think I qualify as an animal lover. Plus if I could, If totally get a guinea pig or a bearded dragon. And maybe a bird to round things out haha.

    I'm definitely a nerd. I love science, history, Star Trek, Star Wars and Firefly. I'm an avid reader, pretty much always in the middle of a book or two. I listen to a lot of podcasts (3 hours of every shift at work I can have headphones on).

    That's a quick summary of me, I have to get going. There are 3 dogs staring at me (mine, my dad's and my brother's) because they were promised a trip to the park, so I better get moving!

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    1. Ryan and I toss around the idea of an aquarium from time to time because he really likes them but I feel like they're a lot of upkeep? I really don't know, I've never had one of my own.

      I used to listen to never-ending podcasts when I worked too. It totally got me through my days. Sometimes I would listen to college lectures about like the Russian Revolution too and then beat the pants off of Ryan in Jeopardy.

      Have fun at the park!

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  20. Hi - I'm Janet C and I live in Portland OR (aka Portlandia). I'm 45, married and have 2 girls - age 15 and 14.

    Hmmm...what's interesting about me? I think the correct question is what's NOT interesting about me. ;) Actually, I'm a very boring person. Like you I love to read but unlike you I can't write at all. I love movies. The best combination in the world is Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with Diet Coke. I can't get enough Mexican food but am also a very picky eater. Pretty much I'm a pain when it comes to food but I know this so I'm a quiet picky eater. I just get "full" quickly at a lot of dinners.

    A HUGE pet peeve of mine is when people sing - singing in the streets, singing at work with the radio but so everyone can hear you, just hanging out with someone and they randomly start singing. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard. I visibly cringe and quickly find someplace else to go. It's weird, I know this.

    Love your blog and your family is adorable! Can't wait for the next post. :)

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    1. Hi Janet! I'm a Diet Coke fanatic. My little sister told me that I did not need to join a gym but that she would come over every morning and work me out like crazy and tell me what I could and could not eat. And I was like OK! And then she was like, no more diet coke. And I was like, get out of my house.

      And I spend a lot of my day singing right now. Just this morning all of Fiona's stuffed monkeys and I had to put on a performance of "Hey Hey We're The Monkees" for her because her teeth were making her cranky. I promise I don't sing in public though!

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    2. I think Hey Hey We're the Monkees gets a singing pass. That is just too much fun. Everyone has to sing it. Hahaha!!!

      Good call with your sister. She needs to see the error of her ways. ;)

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  21. Hi, I'm Christina. I was born and raised in Wyoming and have lived here most of my life. I have 4 kids, a slew of pets and a husband I'm mildly attached to. I love books, cheese, lawn gnomes and gummy bears are the best candy in the whole world.

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    1. I was just telling Ryan literally yesterday that I wanted a lawn gnome!

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  22. I'm Liz, I just moved to Orlando and I have an affinity for all things Disney, Harry Potter and hedgehog. I used to own a hedgehog named Henrietta, but I developed an allergy to her and had to give her to a family friend. Now I own a cat named Thackary Binx. He has a bit of an anxiety disorder and is the size of a baby panther. I love him a lot. I do not have a boyfriend or a husband, but that probably became obvious when I started waxing poetic about my cat...

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    1. Liz, I'm still beyond envious that you get to live in Orlando right now. Deep breaths Lauren, remember that Florida doesn't get snow. Deep breaths.

      Anyway, your comment made me laugh!

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  23. Hi, my online presence name is Grace, but Lauren knows what my real name is, which is far more interesting an easily revealed in an online search.

    I do not and will not have any genetic children as I waited too long to try...at 30. I am probably going to do egg donation because it's still cheaper than adoption (don't be judgy, you haven't tried to concur be for 4 years).

    I also have a decent vocab, but am a terrible speller. The other day I could spell ghonerea (still can't) and the iPhone is judgy and won't spell it for me! What if I needed to tell someone I had it? iPhone, preventing the disclosure of stds since 2001.

    And I only had to type ghonorea because fertility clinics test all the diseases, I also don't have hep c, HIV, or syphillis. Since I've been super promiscuous (sarcasm) I definitely needed all those tests.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Alias Grace (good book btw) I've been keeping up when I can with your blog. Your last entry made me cry a little. I hope everything with egg donation goes as perfectly as possible.

      And I once had a doctor run a complete blood panel on me because I was bruising like crazy. It was anemia, which had been my assumption since I have it on and off, but she insisted on checking for every STD on the planet as well. Ryan was actually there with me and I was like, "I'm married and was tested to get my marriage license and I can assure you it's not an STD." Still had to get the dumb test.

      Delete
  24. Hi! I'm Maren!
    I'm 35, married and have an almost 15 year old boy and a 16 month old girl.
    I'm from south east Texas. Google 'prison city Texas'...that's my hometown.
    I'm really pretty boring. I work, I take care of my kids and I go to bed. I'm tired!
    I crochet and love to read...but I have little time for either (see above: children 13 years apart in age). And I'm hoping to convince my poor husband to let me have another baby. :0)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have always wanted to learn how to crochet, but I can not seem to teach myself. I taught myself to knit just fine (well sort of, I can only knit stitch, no purl stitching to be found, so actually I'm a terrible knitter) but crochet escapes me entirely.

      (Sending baby dust your way!)

      Delete
    2. I actually taught myself...I bought a book at walmart and set to work...
      I'm such a nerd.

      Knitting escapes me. Two needles? Seems so confusing!

      (Thanks for the baby dust!)

      Delete
  25. Hi, I'm Amanda! I have been struggling with infertility for more than two years, so I decided to run a marathon instead of getting pregnant (take THAT body!). I rarely sleep past 6am. I have a TERRIBLE singing voice, but I used to be on TV and radio, so my speaking voice must not be so bad. I am excited about turning 39 next week (and I'm even looking forward to turning 40!).

    In this class (blog), I'm looking forward to learning what Fiona is going to be when she grows up, besides totally, completely adorable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fiona is going to be whatever her little heart desires when she grows up. As long as that is not to be a stripper or an auditor. I kid. My best friend is one of those two things, it's not so bad.

      Fiona's favorite time of the day is 545 AM so I'm right there with you every morning. I actually don't hate it. It's nice to be up before almost everyone else. Except Ryan. His train leaves at 545 AM so he's up before me. It's not a competition RYAN.

      Delete
    2. Ha... that RYAN. Always trying to one-up you! Our dogs are the ones that wake me up so early. Sometimes it's not too bad, but sometimes it's a scratchy paw to the face that wakes me out of a deep slumber. That isn't so nice.

      Delete
    3. Haha my dogs sleep much later than I do. I have to nudge them with my paws to get them to rouse themselves for a brief outside trip before they climb back into their beds. As I type this, at 820 AM they are both snoozing away still. Lazy dogs.

      Delete
  26. Hi, Lauren! I'm Sue, a mom of four. I'm married to my high school sweetheart (but we have no children together). I'm an EMT by training and a volunteer firefighter.
    Not sure what's most interesting about me. I am an independent Origami Owl designer. I've moved nearly as many times as the number of years I've been alive. I love organizing, reading, jigsaw puzzles, and my Boston Terrier, Mac. I'm also a sucker for candy, especially gummy stuff, but not chocolate. To me chocolate is merely a usually unavoidable partner to peanut butter. Aaaand that's me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sue! I love peanut butter and chocolate equally but usually not together. I mean, I'll eat a Reese's if I have to but I'd prefer a Hershey's kiss as a dessert after my apple and peanut butter breakfast.

      Yes there are such things as breakfast desserts.

      I also love organizing. My closet is beautiful. Except sometimes I spend so long organizing all my to do lists and calendars and chores that I don't actually get anything done.

      Delete
  27. Hi Lauren, I'm Kelly. I met the love of my life at funeral. He will tell you a different story, but it was a funeral. I realized anyone who listened to me babbling on for over an hour was perfect for me. We have been together for almost 15 years and I haven't stopped talking yet. The most amazing part is that he is still interested in what I have to say, or he's a great actor, or he is hard of hearing. Or all of them afore mentioned. I'm not sure. But I am happier than I ever thought I would be and it feels great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Kelly. Ryan and I are coming up on 15 years ourselves (we have another year or so) and it really does feel great! Although if you ask Ryan we have only been together for almost 4 years because it seems he believes you just forget all about the time that existed before you got married.

      Delete
    2. Oh no, if I have to follow Ryan's logic that means we have only been together 3 years. I'm depressed now, thank Ryan for me.

      Delete
  28. I'm Casey F. I live in Boston, MA, and have a 6.5 month old baby boy named Maxwell. Apparently a lot of Moms read this blog. I highly recommend this other hilarious blog to which I have no affiliation other than the fact that i read it and laugh a lot: http://www.amothershipdown.com/.

    Interesting things - #1. My college internship involved doing research for an Ebola vaccine. Obviously we were not successful. #2. We have a dog named Mustard. #3. Cheese. #4. 11 years ago, I was chased down the streets of a town in Nicaragua by a man swinging chains at me. #5. There's a leopard on my wall named Fancy.

    I hope we never meet IRL at a cocktail party because I gave you my top personal facts. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the name Max is so cute for a baby boy!

      I've never heard of that blog, but I'll have to look it up now.

      Also when I first read your comment I thought it said 'lizard' instead of leopard and I was like WHY IS THERE A LIZARD ON THE WALL. Even though I know a lot of people have lizards for pets and so that wouldn't be weird anyway. I don't know. Lizards scare me it turns out.

      Delete
  29. Nice to meet you, dear.

    I have a little Amelia, who was born just a few days after Ms Fiona. As a blog stalker, it was nice to read about someone also getting stuck in a bathroom stall nearly the same time I got stuck in a bathroom stall.

    Unfortunately, I have an irrational fear of frogs, so the girls could not play together if you planned on spending the afternoon saving those unpredictable, hoppity creatures. Also, I live in Upstate NY and I'm not that committed to long-distance play dates.

    I haz books and read the words lots, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OHMYGOSH you got stuck in a bathroom stall too!?! Ryan swore that things like that ONLY HAPPENED TO ME but he was wrong! Again.

      And to be quite honest I do not enjoy saving the frogs but I'm too much of a bleeding heart just to let them wither away. I do try not to let them touch me though. And then if they do I cry a little.

      Delete
  30. Hi there! I'm Dawn. I have a 14 year old daughter named Grace and an 11 year old son, Jake. I teach Kindergarten near Grand Rapids, MI. I love to read light romantic comedy type books, along with a handful of my favorite blogs (yours included!) and spend what is probably an unhealthy amount of time browsing Pinterest. I think I could live on cheese and really, really good bread.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had really really good bread for breakfast today. It was really really good. :)

      Delete
  31. OH HI.
    I'm Amy.
    I'm 22 and don't have children.
    I do have a scar down the side of my (lol i wish i had some) abs, from when i was younger and trying to out-do the boys and i totally got the ball down from the top of the tallest tree.
    I also fell out of the tree, hence the scar, but whatevs. TOTALLY showed them.

    PS) Your baby is the cutest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OH Hi Amy.

      I fell off a climbing rope when I was younger trying to beat all the boys in my gym class. I totally get it. And then they ended the climbing program after that which is, I assume, because no one would ever be able to best my performance, so what was the point of even trying any longer.

      Obviously.

      (And thanks!)

      Also, I think scars are sort of lovely. I don't hate my c-section scar even a little bit.

      Delete
  32. Hi! I'm Amanda Rae. Okay, technically I dropped the Rae when I got married and moved my maiden name to the middle spot, but it seemed worth mentioning here.

    I'm 33. I live in Florida, but not anywhere that would make you jealous. Nobody thinks, "A Florida vacation? I know, let's go to Tallahassee!"

    I have three kids - Clara is 5 (and a half!), Cecily is 2 (and a half!), and Neville is 4 months (not even a half!). I do quilting and quilling. I used to teach math at a small Christian school, and I am now homeschooling. I love languages and words. I do not like bugs and once broke a broom trying to make sure a cockroach was really and truly dead.

    There you go, a bit about me. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations on then new little baby! I am completely enamored of the name Neville. It was on my boys name list.

      You used to teach math huh? Can you teach me how to graph parabolas?

      Delete
    2. Thanks! I love Fiona's name, too.

      I could teach you how to graph parabolas, but why take away the mystery at this point?

      Delete
  33. My name is Mary. I'm the single mom of a 14 year old son who is almost my clone.
    "Interesting" thing about me? I was in labor for 49 with no painkillers until the last two hours before my 9 pound son was born. My first words to him were, "You are an only child."
    Other interesting thing? He was totally worth every second of that 49 hours of pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok you probably win a prize for those 49 hours. The second half of my labor was unmedicated and I thought I was being drawn and quartered. I am impressed. Beyond impressed.

      Delete
  34. Hi -- Fiona is very cute! My name is Kristen, and I'm the single mother of a 10-year old daughter named Jorja who I adopted from China. So, I've been to China. And I have no sense of smell. Your blog always makes me laugh. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kristen! I have the total opposite of no sense of smell. I've always had a very heightened olfactory sense but after I got pregnant it's just like through the roof. It's gotten sort of annoying actually. Though I can sniff out a Starbucks from inside my car from like a mile away. Which is nice.



      Delete
  35. Hi Lauren! My name is Jamie and I live in Orange County, CA. I am a single mother to a 9 year old son named Gavin. I love Disneyland and Starbucks and go to both all the time. I am going to be starting my last semester of college this fall and will (hopefully) start my master's program in January!
    Also Fiona is so adorable. You make adorable children. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love Disneyland and Starbucks too! I just hung a couple of pictures yesterday of me at Disneyland. We went there when I was like four months pregnant.

      P.S. I love the name Gavin. I am slightly in love with Gavin DeGraw because he came to my college to perform and then I met him in the liquor store.

      And by "met" I mean I didn't see him but he laughed AT me when Ryan was dawdling and I was like "Ryan, put your skedaddling shoes on! And then I clapped three times" Whatever, he probably still reminisces about that moment. Gavin I mean, not Ryan.

      Delete
  36. Hello Lauren Rae!

    My name is Christine Regina, but most people call me Chrissy. Although at work they call me Christine. So that I feel like a grown up. And then my family calls me Charissa or Chrissa. And a select few close friends call me Chris (along with random strangers who don't want to use two syllables and really irritate me with their casual dismissal of the name that I so conveniently provided them with.)

    I live in the suburbs of Chicago. Right now the south-ish suburbs. Which I don't love because it is far away from everything. Except Brian. And he is lovely. But sometimes I miss my parents.

    I am VERY excited to leave for the flatter-than-Illinois Indiana tomorrow because it means that I do not have to go to work until Monday. And I get to play board games and solve puzzles all weekend long. Which is awesome.

    Also interesting: There is a really cute toddler who named a My Little Pony after me. And I didn't pay her to do it or anything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A woman I worked with in high school at the hardware store fully knew my name was Lauren Rae and still elected to call me Laurie. Which is an entirely different name. Every single time she did it I said, "It's Lauren actually" and she never figured it out. But once she brought me in a huge bucket full of taffy so, it all evens out in the end.

      I also had a teacher ask me if I minded them calling me Elle in fifth grade because there were three Laurens in the class and two of us were Lauren M's. And I was like hmmmm...how about Lucy instead? Because of how I was obsessed with Narnia, but that did not fly. She was like, I'll just ask the other Lauren M if I can change her name.

      Enjoy your Hoosier weekend!

      Delete
    2. It's so weird that she wanted to change your name to something completely unrelated to your actual name but wouldn't accept it when you chose the nickname.

      Delete
    3. Right!? Right!? I was like, if you're changing my name anyhow, why can't I pick what you use? I think the Elle thing obviously came from my first initial, but whatever.

      Delete
    4. When I was in 5th grade my teacher couldn't pronounce my first name correctly (Maren) and since there was also a Mary and Miriam in the same class, decided she would call my by my last name (Lanham). Which she also couldn't pronounce correctly.
      She did this all year, even after a visit from my stepdad to correct her.
      And my mother would not let me just go by my middle name (Renee)...a name that everyone can easily pronounce.

      Delete
  37. Hi there Lauren!

    My name is Sharon, for now. I'm actually planning on changing both first and last names within a year or so, to honour my maternal grandfather. I live in Kingston, ON, Canada, again for now; fifteen years is fifteen years too long in this city. I have far too many books, and a small apartment, and one of my dreams is to have a home with a dedicated room lined with bookshelves, a comfy chair or two, and a fireplace. Currently fifty percent of the food in my fridge is cheese. Right now I'm unemployed, am considered disabled due to chronic pain but am looking for work in order to afford things other than rent and student loan repayments. Yesterday... I had to vacuum the detritus of some dried flowers from my living room carpet, much to the detriment of my pain levels (this is meant to be a humorous comment, because I got caught up on your last post :) ). I'm a single cat lady, but have been (with my family) to Kashmir, India, Germany, France, Holland, Italy, and other places in Europe.

    Your Fiona is adorable, and looks a lot like Ryan. Whose expression in the beanie picture reminds me a lot of my late father.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi there for-now-Sharon! That's so interesting that you'll be changing your first name as well as your last. I'm incredibly intrigued. What a lovely tribute.

      I am exactly the same way as you about the library room. I've used an extra bedroom in the last two places to store my books but I would just about DIE to have a fire-placed cozy library in my house. And really Ryan should get on board because then I would just spend all of my time in there and never bother him.

      Also, student loans are the worst. Especially since I'm not even using my college degree right now. Blech.

      And thank you! I think she's just about the most amazing baby in the world but I might be a little biased.

      Delete
  38. Hello, My name is Shara I am 34. I am named after a minor character in an episode of a 70's detective show called Vega$. I never thought I was very interesting or adventurous but now my husband and I ski, scuba dive, and rock climb (indoors at a gym).

    Your baby girl is adorable, it is not the mommy goggles. You brighten my day every time I see that you have written a new post! Thank you for sharing your life with us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Shara! I am named after the doll my mom had growing up. She loved the name Lauren forever and ever. I think she just picked the rest of my siblings' names out of a book or something. They should feel less special than me. (actually my brother is named after my great grandfather, but the rest of them, should feel less special than us)

      Also your little icon scares me because IS THAT A SHARK.

      Delete
    2. They should feel less special than us.

      That is a shark. That was taken on our honeymoon actually. Sharks are actually not as scary as the discovery channel would like us to believe. No humans or sharks were in harmed in the making of this photo.

      Delete
  39. I'm Alana. I'm 29 and live in Tallahassee, FL. I'm currently waiting to hear about two federal jobs I interviewed for in Philly and Chicago (I will need directions to all the cheese and book shops, Lauren). I am basically a grandmother in a 29 year old's body. I like to crochet, read, I don't like loud music or being kept up past 10pm. I am also SUPER short. 4'10" to be exact. Yes, the air down here is fine and sure, you can use my shoulder or head as a leaning post as long as you wear deoderant. I have a very serious job, but I'm not a serious person. I can give myself and others a better manicure than most salons can. I'm Greek, Italian, and Irish and had more body hair than most boys did when I was 12. Thankfully, that's not the case anymore. I could put feta on pretty much anything and be happy. Oh, I have a huge crush on OJ. Your friend, not the killer. Ethnic men are my jam. I have 3 nephews and a niece and love them dearly. They are the best birth control in the world, although your pictures of Fiona send my ovaries into a frenzy. I love to laugh, but I love making others laugh more. I always feel super special when I see you've like a post of mine on Instagram. Nice to meet you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Alana. If you move to Chicago I'm going to make you give me pedicures in exchange for me telling you all the best things about Chicago. Or you don't have to mess with my feet and I'll still tell you. Whichever.

      I totally hate loud music too. I even get annoyed in the car because I feel like my volume thing needs one more notch between totally silent and still too blaring. I watch tv on my iPad in bed at night and Ryan never believes me that I can actually hear it with how low I keep the volume. So I've told him I can't hear it but I actually know how to lip read.

      And then sometimes when he is across the room from me talking to people and I know he is talking about me I wait until he looks at me and then mouth the word "Hi".

      It's important to keep him on his toes.

      Delete
  40. I'm Japolina. I don't use my real name on my blog because I'm trying to protect the innocent. I am 47 but act like I'm still about 22. I've been married for almost twenty years. I have two teenage boys who are 14 & 16 and about to drive me seriously crazy at any given time. Whoever came up with the idea that having a peri-menoupausal hormonal women in the same house and hormonal moody teenagers was not very smart. You should have pity on my sweet husband. We live in Miami.
    visit my blog www.japolina.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hi My name is Jasmine - I have been married half my life (was 19 now Im 38) to the same man. (I deserve a medal/award/plaque) We have 3 kids 17, 13 & 9 and they play a lot of sports and 4H. They show pigs at the county and state fair. I help but I am not a farmer at heart or by trade. We live in Indiana about 20 miles from downtown in a small town that my husband and I both grew up in. I love to read books and really love to read books before they are movies.

    ReplyDelete
  42. i come here and read your words and think "shannon - is it weird to know that a complete stranger on the internet completes you?" and while the answer is probably yes - i refuse to accept it.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hello, I'm Holli from Dallas, Texas. I got married for my first and only time last year at the ripe age of 45. I was destined to be an old lady on a porch with cats and i'm very allergic to cats so my husband pretty much saved my life. I have a precious puppy but I couldn't have kids. I love seeing your precious pictures of Fiona. I love to read and I spend too much time on Pinterest pinning recipes and I don't even cook. I have always enjoyed your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  44. My name is Jennifer, Jen if you are nice to me. I am really 5, but masquerading in the body of a 43 year old. I talk to the llamas in the field I pass on my way to work, and other furry creatures. My criteria for if something is cute is it has to at least fit two of the following three characteristics: is it small? is it furry? is it cute? Luckily for me my kilt-wearing Spouse is furry (well his legs anyway) and he is cute. I love hockey, soccer (or futbol), and tennis, although I play none of them. I hate ironing & shaving as I believe had mother nature intended things to be wrinkle-free and hairless, she would have just created us that way (although I do occasionally shave. I have a limit to my own personal furriness). I love to cook, make my own personal and home products and have a blog: http://bourgeois-homesteader.blogspot.com/ If we had been able to have kids and would have had a girl, her name would have been Fiona Maeve, so seeing pics of your Fiona brings me a super special sort of joy, like a kinship but not in a creepy way. I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Please keep writing. You crack me up. And I love to laugh.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  46. Hello, I am Rachel, aged 33 years. Mother to one 10 year old girl. I have been married for 11 years. I have 2 dogs and no cats right now. I really miss having a cat. I need a cat in my life. It is good for my health. I like to cook and bake and I am very good at both. Your daughter is lovely - thank you for sharing pictures of her with us. To this day I cannot eat a green pepper. I was never fan but had a small bite of one on accident while nursing my babe and all hell broke loose! I kid you not my milk smelled (and apparently tasted) of green peppers for about 12 hours afterwards. It was awful. Really, no tea? If I ever make it back to Chicago can I buy you coffee?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hi Lauren! Well, you already know that I didn't know how to cook beets, so really, what's left? I draw cartoons of owls and otters and such having (frequently sad) adventures, and I love cheese.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Hullo! I'm Shawnna. So excited to see your post pop up today!

    Something interesting about me... is the outlandish size of my cankles at this point in time (I'm 36 weeks prego). I blog at thatsmeinthemiddle.com. And just a few minutes ago was caught fishing granola out of my bra. So. That's me.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Hi Lauren! I'm Megan and I live in a teensy town in the UP (that's the Upper Peninsula of MI for you people that aren't familiar with the mitten's geography or oh so clever abbreviations). When I was in college and had to do this at the start of EVERY CLASS (ugh) I would say, "one interesting thing about me is that I'm from the UP and I live next door to a lighthouse" and everyone would say, "of course you do. Because someone from the UP totally would happen to live next door to a lighthouse. Rural weirdos."

    I still live next to the lighthouse (my husband and I bought my grandparents house, so now we're one house further down the road, on the other side of my mom), but a few other interesting things are that I'm a librarian, I have two ugly puppies, one husband who never has time for my shenanigans (he and Ryan would get along swimmingly I'm sure) and one six week old baby that I stare at obsessively while trying to figure out if I can somehow squish him back into newborn size. (But you already know about the baby, we're fb and instagram friends so you get to see my daily baby spam). :)

    Also, my brother is going to an automotive school down outside Chicago and I had a dream recently that I went to visit him and ran into you. We exchanged babies for squeezing purposes, then went book shopping while our husbands got more and more fed up and eventually left because "one was already more than enough, but two was just ridiculous." lol.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hi Lauren!

    I'm Licia (pronounced like Tricia, but with an L, of course!)...I'm 33 and live in Minneapolis. I am married to my high school sweetheart and have been for 9 years. We have been dating for 17 though! We have 3 boys, Kellan (8), Jaden (5.5), and Evan (1). They are pretty awesome, but require a LOT of energy...they never stop moving.

    I am a Mechanical Engineer - good at numbers not so good at English (see?!?!) - and design HVAC, Plumbing, and Fire Protection systems for buildings.

    I love your blog and can't get enough of your quirky-ness!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Ha! I am way late to this game- but wanted to participate anyway. Your blog makes me laugh out loud- which can look weird to those around me :)

    I am Stephanie- a SAH mama of two girls and wife to the husband. I 31, living in CA. I love iced tea, hate summers, and just wish it was Fall already- it's still in the 90's here! Husband and I have been married for 9 years, we were engaged after only dating for 6 weeks :) I have a blog, but it's not nearly as funny as yours- howsweethisisblog.com. Can't wait to read more!

    ReplyDelete

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