I Dream At Night I Can Only See Your Face

Why Hello There Blogstalkers!

It is me, your long lost friend Lauren!  Please forgive me for my absence, but I've been alarmingly busy traipsing across Middle-earth in search of a vast treasure.  I'm back now though and in recompense for my deserting you I have decided to share my treasure equally among all of my faithful readers.

Small Print: That is a lie, I'm keeping all Middle-earth* treasures** for myself.  In a locked safe*** guarded by a troll.****  So do not even try to steal it, you will not succeed.*****

*THE AMAZON (.com)

**Three cardboard chests of Count Chocula cereal, worth $11.49 each apparently.  NOT including shipping and handling.

*** Ryan's beside table because the drawer of mine is full of peanut butter and spoons.

**** My husband really needs a haircut.

****You could probably succeed.

Now that we've got that all squared away.

So I'm like 30 weeks pregnant.  And as is common at this point, I'm having trouble sleeping.  So much so that I have been awaiting the delivery of my new Glider/Recliner with an almost embarrassing amount of eagerness.

Finally last week I got a call from the delivery company and was able to schedule a time for the arrival of my bundle of joy.  And today, after paying a couple of burly men to do all the labor for me, she is finally here.

The muscle bound furniture fellas were also delivering the rest of the nursery pieces, so at first I directed them to the nursery and then squeaked and flailed about excitedly whilst they put everything in place.  They both agreed that it is all SO CUTE and FITS PERFECTLY in the room.

Then they went back to their truck to bring in my lovely new chair.  "In the corner by the the window right?" asked the first guy.  "Yeah, it'll totally be SO CUTE and FIT PERFECTLY there,"added the other.

"Actually no, just put it right over here," I corrected them.

"Really ma'am?" they asked with uncertainty, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I cackled gleefully.  "That'll teach the goober," under my breath.

And then they looked at me all weird but did what I asked and left with alacrity.

You see just a couple of days before, Ryan and I had this conversation:

Lauren: Oh I can't wait until my chair gets here.  I'm going to sleep in it and read in it and eat Midnight Cereal in it.

Ryan: Oh good, then maybe I can finally get some sleep.  I've been having a terrible time of it lately.

Lauren: Then maybe YOU can get some sleep?

Ryan: *dreamily* I'll have the whole room to myself.  And a normal amount of pillows and no one waking me up to say, "Help! I was trying to make a three point turn to get out of bed to go the bathroom again and I think I got misdirected. Now I'm all tangled and one of my heating pads* is biting me!"

*My tiny dogs.  They get very hot in the middle of the night.  I like to arrange them at my back for pain relief.

Ryan: *still dreamily* And you will be out of the room and I will be alone and you will be gone.  Why are you looking at me like that? Stop it!  Don't hatch any plots!

Lauren: Too late! This is the year I hatch things! Babies AND plots.  And I'm excellent at both! Hashtag Hatch Brag.

Ryan: I wish I hadn't already gone to work and come home today.  I wish I was going to work now and coming home after whatever this situation is has resolved itself.

And so today, this is where the chair ended up.

Because the right side of the bed is Ryan's side of the bed because Ryan begins with the letter 'R'.  Same with Lauren and the letter 'L' and the left side of the bed.  Obviously.

And here is a close-up of the side table.  My Watching Ryan Sleep playlist.

And some paper gemstones for taping to Ryan's bare stomach while he is sleeping so he looks more like a troll doll.  I'll try to get photos of this but Ryan is always like, "No posting half naked pictures of me online!" for some reason.

Every breath you take, I'll be watching you.

I'm so looking forward to tonight.

How have you all been my darlings?

53 comments:

  1. promise me that when he wakes up in the middle of the night you'll just be sitting there staring at him. eating peanut butter...

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    1. I promise you I will try. Because that would be wonderful.

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  2. Anonymous10/24/2013

    So glad you are back! Enjoy all of the hatchings! Glenda

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  3. Dangit Lauren! "Hashtag Hatch Brag" made me squirt water out my nose. That sort of thing is only adorable when one is an elephant!

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    1. Hashtag Sorry I'm Not Sorry.

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  4. Don't pull a "Paranormal Activity" stand and stare at him. My husband *forbade* me from doing so... he's no fun.

    I'm glad you're back. And baby furniture?!? Squeee!

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    1. I don't do a lot of standing any longer anyway. Just sitting and then sometimes moving to another sitting place. Or as Ryan calls it, "walking."

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  5. SO exciting! I'm trying to convince my hubby we should start trying for a baby and then we were on a flight this week right behind a screaming baby so, yeah, not gonna happen. Hashtag best birth control ever.

    P.S. you should share pics of the nursery!

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    1. I will share pictures as soon as everything is all finished. Right now we've just painted and have the furniture up. Still need all the fun stuff like clothes and blankets and books and all that to make it look pretty!

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  6. Please share where you found her (the chair, of course). I, too, am 30 weeks with baby number one (also a girl) and I am looking for a chair just like that. :)

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    1. We actually looked about a thousand places because I have a weird body. By which I mean I have extremely long limbs (like my doctors think future surgery might be a thing for me because of how long my arms are and how much they pull on my shoulder joints) and a shorter torso so chairs can be odd for me and I figured I'd be spending a lot of time in this one. So we found it at a boutique in Chicago called Twinkle Twinkle Little One. So I'm not sure where else they would carry the brand but it's part of The Storytime Series from a company called Best Chairs Inc. (That is totally a name I can get behind.)

      And CONGRATS!!

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  7. This post is amazing. I especially love the paper gemstones. Can't wait to hear more about this wonderful plan.

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    1. Sadly Ryan just got home and he brought me a chocolate malt and now I feel all bad about the plan. Hopefully he does something reprehensible soon? So I can follow through with this? I'm so confused right now.

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  8. There are so many things that make me happy about this post. Mainly that you spell out 'hash tag.' That's my favorite way to utilize the ol' pound sign!
    Hashtag old skool.

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    1. Haha! Ryan HATES my hashtags.

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    2. Hashtag nighty night Ryan.

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  9. Renee D.10/24/2013

    You are hilarious! I love the placement of the chair :) Go you and here's to a good night sleep...well at least a decent night sleep ;)

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    1. Heck I'll just take a night where I'm not going to the bathroom every 45 minutes. Or a piece of cake. Whatever.

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  10. Oh my gosh so funny! I totally remember the last few months of pregnancy- I would always have to hitch one leg up high and through it forward to get a running start out of bed or I was never going to get out of that thing! PS- love the chair!

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    1. Yes! I have to like roll back and forth for a while and then fling myself off the bed and hope I don't hit the wall. It's definitely an adventure. And I don't even try to get up off the couch any longer. I just call Ryan and hold my arms out.

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    2. Haha! I still do that to get off the ground and my littlest is 9 mo old! Oh the muscles we are willing to give up for our sweet little ones :)

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  11. Anonymous10/24/2013

    Yay! Greetings from your newest Blogstalker! (I'm in Hobart, Tasmania, Australia if you want to tell Ryan how far your friendship circle now reaches!) I'm Jo, married, Mum to 2 boys (7 & 4) & serial overuser of "!" & "()" :-) found you via The Bloggess & have since devoured your archives, so thanks for the new post to wake up to! Hope the new chair delivers more sleep!
    PS: Sorry for the 'Anonymous' comment, I'm having problems with Google. :-(

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    1. Hi Jo! I'm so happy you're enjoying my freaky little corner of the internets! Exclamation Point! (And no worries whatsoever about the Anonymous comment, I like comments in any form, unless they are like "This is an interesting article, also check out my blog, *link to porn*")

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  12. Earlier today, in the "before times," Laura asked if we could get a glider/recliner for our bedroom. It's the "before times" because it was "before I read Lauren's update."

    I said "Of course! Where would we put it?"

    "In the bedroom," she replied.

    I thought it was weird but figured it was something she wanted and maybe it would make her life easier, somehow, since she had to have a reason for wanting it.

    I have now since corrected this thought and told her that no, we are not getting a glider/recliner for the bedroom.

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    1. Haha! Laura told me about this request during the "before times". We were both just waiting for you to FINALLY get around to reading my post. (Kidding of course, it's only been up for like an hour, you read it so quickly I almost feel like you're stalking me a bit.)

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    2. Stalking? Me? I have no idea what you're talking about. Me commenting within seconds of your reply to me means NOTHING.

      At least I haven't set up a gliding/reclining chair by the side of anyone's bed to watch them while they sleep. *shudders* You and my wife are creepy! ;)

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    3. I don't know. Sometimes watching people sleep has its useful moments. Ryan is always talking in his sleep. He's all "Spiders, Spiders Spiders" and then I am like, "Say spiders if you want me to buy new boots for myself tomorrow." And then we're both happy. Or at least I'm happy. He's probably getting eaten by spiders or something.

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    4. I just laughed hard enough to wake the baby in the other room. I think that's at least twice now that you've made me do that. I don't know which of us that makes a bad person but I'm pretty sure one of us is a bad person for waking up the baby with my laughter.

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    5. Ha! You can return the favor starting in January.

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  13. *snicker* *snort* *cackle*

    I also need to stock up on peanut butter and spoons, apparently.

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    1. Sometimes I just need some protein in the middle of the night.

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    2. Bahaha. Replying to this post logged me out of my school email. Now Jeremiah has to hunt down my cell phone so I can get my nifty verification code.

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    3. Sorry about that. Let's blame it on Ryan.

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    4. What the heck, RYAN?! I had work to do!

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    5. Keep in mind that this is ME looking for the phone, however. It's probably right on the corner of the dresser and I've just looked over it 5 or 17 times without noticing it RIGHT THERE.

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    6. I'll bet it's by the sugar.

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    7. I always find mine in the fruit bowl. ALWAYS. So check there. Plus if it's not there you can always just grab a banana instead and be like "I found your phone!" because that is hilarious.

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    8. I can't hear you! I have a banana in my ear!

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  14. What have I been up to? Kind of worrying about you. You were gone for so long. Glad to hear all is well and you are still wonderfully weird. I, on the other hand, have been tricking my husband into making jokes about my deceased mother. She died in July, and yes it is very sad, I am very sad, but I do still love a good joke. My husband has a fondness for "your mama" jokes. I tricked him into one the other day that resulted in him saying "Your Mom's a marshmallow ghost".....I said "ha ha I HOPE so!" So this is all appropos of nothing but it really cracked me up and this just seems like the sort of place with readers who would also find it funny! BTW...I am REALLY truly honestly sad about my Mom. I miss her every day but she also had a sly sense of humor and would have laughed, too. I dont know why I care about the internet judging me but whatever.....it still cracks me up.

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    1. At my late husband's funeral, I was cracking up at stories told by his state trooper friend. I was very sad, and very upset, but those stories were hysterical and it got me through the night.

      Whatever works for you is all good by me. It's when I stop cracking jokes about things that it's time to really worry.

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    2. Laurie I am SO sorry for your loss. Truly. Ryan lost his parents about a year and a half ago and it was definitely a difficult time. After his dad's memorial we had all of his friends and family over and everyone sat around for hours telling stories and jokes about him and we all just about passed out laughing. I fully believe that laughter is the best medicine, you know, right behind medicine.

      Also, I totally love the marshmallow ghost joke. So yes, you've come to the exact right place.

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    3. And by my answer I totally meant that I was sorry for your loss. I didn't mean to leave it out and end up all abrasive.

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  15. Have I told you how much I adore the way you think?

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    1. I don't remember. I think you might have once but really I can't say for sure.

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  16. "Hastag Hatch Brag." <-- The very first time the use of "hashtag xxx" made me laugh with genuine glee instead of sarcastic derision! I <3 your blog.

    Also, just thought of something: you could start a blog of "Things taped to Ryan's tummy" with pics and stories. That way 1) it's oddly funny for us readers, 2) it's satisfying for your creativity, and 3) it justifies Ryan being shirtless more often! Total win-win...and win! And think how cute it'll be when you can throw in Daddy'n'Me matching pics, 'cause who doesn't love a cute baby tummy?
    Man, I deserve a frickin' Pulitzer for journalism...HA! :-D

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  17. I love how you like to play pranks on each other. Makes the relationship more fun. :)

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  18. haha the chair fits so perfectly there! It's also fun to take notes of funny things people do when they sleep so you can remind them when they wake up. Not like I've ever done that before...

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  19. You know when you do something really really well but then someone watches you do it and suddenly you start messing it up? I wonder if you just sat in the chair and stared at Ryan while he tried to get to sleep, which I assume he does so well, whether he would be able to sleep as well as he bragged in that conversation that he could do?

    Loving the chair, it looks so comfortable. All you need now is a pile of books to go through while you hatch the little one.

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  20. Sue Hunt10/25/2013

    I had the worst heartburn during my pregnancy. God bless my dad, who loaned us (me) his recliner for the last several months. I would sleep in that for the first half of the night and then when the heartburn had settled down (probably by the third or fourth bathroom trip) I would switch back to sleeping in the bed. I LOVED that chair!

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  21. Welcome back! I'm now at nearly 16 weeks I have an impressive belly considering I have 24 more weeks to go. Which is almost as many weeks left for me as you have been pregnant and now I want to cry because that's so far away. Back to my point. The night before last I woke up with barely any room, clutching my body pillow turned sideways (The only way I can get comfortable is by snuggling up to that thing. I need a pillow between my knees at least. This is better than just a pillow.), which was pretty much off of the bed. My wonderful husband was sprawled across the bed with the dog on the other side. How does he get more room than me when I am two people now?! I feel like 1/3 of the bed should be his and I should have 2/3. And while we are at it, I should be taking one of his pillows because I am two people and perhaps I would be less congested in the morning if I was propped up further.

    That was a lot of writing for saying that I'll be needing your chair soon. Maybe not your chair exactly because that wouldn't be nice of me, but a chair. I do really appreciate the way it is positioned.

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  22. Crap. Now I have to go order Count Chocula.

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