Sure, independence and doodle dandies and let freedom ring and all of that, but also, goddamn fireworks.
I've said it before and I'll say it again because it can not be said enough times but I HATE LOATHE ABHOR DETEST fireworks. They make my eyes water and my nose run and my mouth hiccup and my husband say "For the last time crybaby, the firework did NOT touch you."
And OK yeah, fireworks are probably a ridiculous thing to be frightened of but it could be worse, I mean, I know someone that is afraid of balloons. And sure that person is also me but I think I have made my point. I just don't like things that explode. I don't even like Chocolate Lava Cakes.* That is how hardcore I am about not liking things that go pop.
*I LOVE them.
So all of that is just to say that this week makes me extremely skittish and overwrought. I almost feel like I am under danger of being attacked at any moment by heat seeking missiles or children with those horrid little snappy poppy things of which they are so fond.
|Seriously yesterday one of these TOUCHED me.|
And all of that is just to say that last week, when I started to feel apprehensive about Roman Candles and Unsympathetic Jewish Husbands I got to thinking about what I could successfully employ as a defense mechanism in times of danger in general. Because let's face it, this world is a dangerous place, just full of ceiling fans and legos and other scary things.