Sock It To Me. Ooh Short Title Today. I'm Impressed With Myself.

Hello Blogstalkers!

Your eyes are not deceiving you, this is a real post.  You thought I forgot how to do those didn't you?

Well I didn't.  I did forget how to do the Electric Slide apparently which resulted in a large number of precocious middle school children laughing at me, but that is an entirely different story.  The moral of which is - I can't teach you, teach you, teach you, I can't teach you the electric slide.

Anyway.  Last weekend was high school graduation weekend in Ryan's and my hometown and since he had various cousins/family friends receiving their diplomas, off we headed to watch the festivities.  Ryan's allergies this year have been awful and since I am already carrying around what is basically a large duffel bag full of oyster crackers and Pedialyte and jolly ranchers and comic books, it was no skin off my back to throw in a bunch of Kleenex and Allegra for his needs this weekend.

I did make him carry the bag for a while though when I got especially nauseated which was embarrassing for him for two reasons.  One because then he had to go through the purse-searching line at graduation with all the other delicate ladies and two because it has a large picture of Lou Diamond Phillips on the side.

This picture to be exact. (Long Story)


I was all, "Remember when you used to be cool at this high school Ryan?  How things have changed."

So eventually we found seats alone the way at the back of the graduation so I wouldn't be crowded by people and smells and so Ryan wouldn't bother anyone with his allergies.  We settled in for the long haul.

At this point I should mention that we had been to another family outing the day before and Ryan had asked me for a Kleenex for his eyes or nose approximately every one minute and thirty seconds.  At which point I invented in my head a sort of fanny pack device that was really a box of Kleenex with a belt poked through it.  But when I presented Ryan with the idea, even generously offering to make him one for the next day, he laughed in my face and said I was ridiculous.  So I came up with another option.

The beginning of the graduation ceremony slowly passed as I almost continuously passed Ryan his requested facial tissues.  Halfway through the event, when he once again reached his hand out, I put my little plan into action.  I slowly reached into my sleeve and handed him what he assumed was a tissue but was actually the end of a white sock.

A white sock that was attached to this:  A carefully constructed chain of colorful socks and one scarf.  (In my mind it was supposed to be all scarves but they were all too big and bulky so socks were the next best alternative.)

This is a really odd picture.


With his eyes pointed ahead, he slowly pulled the sock up to his face.  And then realized something was amiss.  He looked down and was all "What the hell?"

At which point I just widened my eyes at him in surprise as he pulled and pulled the chain of socks (which was wrapped through my sleeves and around my back under my jean jacket) until it was all out.  And then I whispered, "Ta Da!"

He was not amused.

So that was my silly little weekend, how was yours?  Anything magical happen?  (I realize it is now Wednesday and a weird day to be asking you all about your weekends.)

P.S. On the way to the graduation in the car, with the socks all stuffed into my jacket I got really hot and desperately needed something with which to mop my sweaty brow.  And Ryan was all, "Don't you have a scarf or something in that huge bag of yours?"

P.P.S. After graduation Ryan saw the humor in the whole episode.  Especially after he realized I had "given him clothes" and thus "freed him from his house elf days of drudgery."

P.P.P.S. I'll announce the last giveaway winner this week, just finishing up some final details.

31 comments:

  1. I'm glad to see you're feeling better!

    Plus, my husband was looking at the pictures in this post and was like WHAT.IS.THAT?

    I'm like Laurens a genius. Duh.

    He may have walked away shaking his head at us.

    :)

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    1. Feeling a TINY bit better. Still have my rough hours and days.

      And yeah that is something I thought I would never take a picture of...A bunch of socks tied together.

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    2. I have fun colored socks. If I wasn't so lazy I'd send you a picture.

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  2. Today you are my hero...
    Honestly on a day ...well a week like I've had, I needed that laugh so badly.
    Thank you Lauren! May the good fairies of the world gift you with copious cheeses.
    :)
    Jessica Marie

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    1. Thanks Jessica Marie! Glad to have helped.

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  3. You are going to be such a fun mom. Also, Ryan is going to HAVE to loosen up if he's going to survive fatherhood! ;)

    Looking back, I should have bought stock in Jolly Ranchers when I was pregnant. They got me through the first four months of all three of my pregnancies.

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    1. Haha you could probably go ahead and buy stock right about now. I'm expecting a thank you call from their CEO any day now.

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  4. Mmmmm. Jolly Ranchers. In summer camp before they got all "health conscious" on us(an evil plot of the counselors to deprive us of our much needed sugar energy/ hyperactivity instigators, I'm sure)we would get the Jolly Rancher sticks at the canteen and melt them to the roof of our mouths during "nap" time. Self made retainers with out the wires. Yum. Maybe a Jolly Rancher retainer would hep the nausea? Hee hee.

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  5. Glad you had a good time only slightly tormenting Ryan at graduation. Much more creative than I am cause the sock fanny pack contraption is just too funny. Hope you're feeling better.

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  6. Renee D.6/05/2013

    Glad to see that you are back and doing a wee bit better :) Been thinking about you.

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  7. Darn, I totally missed my chance to be Dobby after my mom handed me my sock Monday night! So glad you are well enough to post again!

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  8. Oh, you have a knack to make me laugh. I'm so glad that Laura internet-introduced me to you.

    I hope you feel better soon.

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  9. BAHAHAHAHA. Best story ever. I love the HP reference at the end.

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  10. Lou Diamond Phillips is totally my college boyfriend. I had crush on him and when i worked at video store, i played La Bamba on repeat. LOL.
    I love the scarf effect.

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  11. I love the Dobby reference :)!

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  12. Lou is the man! He is one of those types of men that hardly age so he still looks the same as if he JUST starred in Stand and Deliver.

    Glad to see the baby isn't making you miss events!

    I think you made Hermione happy also by presenting the house elf with an article of clothing.

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  13. Laurie6/05/2013

    Nothing magical happened, it was kind of a cruddy weekend but I do love playing pranks on the Mr. We were at Target over the weekend and we separated to go get our various desired items. I came to the aisle where he was and said very loudly "HI! What are you doing here?" and then I ran up and hugged and kissed him and grabbed his butt and said, again, very loudly "Is your wife out of town? When can we get together again?" He was all "uh she is my wife, she is just deranged" to the other people in the aisle. When we got outside he said "WHAT is wrong with you??" Ha ha ha ha ha!! Too much to even begin to mention!!

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  14. Hey there, I stumbled on your blog and read a few posts, specifically the ones about you and ryan meeting. You guys are so cute. Love your blog. Following you on twitter now. I'll definitely be coming back for more.

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  15. That's hilarious. When I need a pet box of tissues, I usually carry it around in a plastic bag so I have a garbage bag with me too. Or maybe he'd like a manly messenger bag for his pet Kleenex box.

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  16. Haaaaaaaaaa!!!! Ryan has redeemed himself (at least momentarily) for playing Dobby! The sock trick was rather brilliant. Good show, Gallaghers!

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  17. Aw, I love this post! And I love Lou Diamond Phillips. How many times did I watch La Bamba when I was a kid? Only like a million. This is kind of gross, but I like blowing my nose with socks. I don't do it all the time, but in a pinch, a sock works great and is so soft on your nose.

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  18. YAY, welcome BACK Lauren, you were MISSED!

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  19. I laughed SO hard. I'm totally doing this to my husband, who, during allergy season, refers to me as his Kleenex pack-mule.

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  20. I thought it was hilarious. My husband wanted to know why I was laughing, so I sent it to him the link. He didn't see why it was so funny. So. I'm planning to recreate it soon ;)

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  21. Good Lord, you are a genius. I love it.

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  22. Freaking hilarious. I'm going to have to steal this idea.

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  23. He should just be delighted that there wasn't a large pair of boxer shorts with lipstick kisses on them at the end of it. :)

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  24. Ha - that's amazeballs! What I want to know is how the heck did two MATCHING socks end up on either end?!?

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  25. EvylFashionista6/10/2013

    Glad to see that you and your sense of humour are back! My fun bit of the weekend was getting to play Privateer on Saturday afternoon as part of the Gaspee Days Festival. Nothing quite like hanging out with a bunch of pirates to brighten up the day.

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  26. Lauren, I feel like you've probably answered this a batrillion times, but I can't find it. Who photographed your wedding? Your wedding pics are just the best!

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  27. This is the second Harry Potter reference in a post I've read today. That either means that my love for all things Harry Potter is not significantly askew from that of the general population, or that I'm really good at gravitating toward other weirdos. Either way, I'm cool with it.

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