Since I'm No Longer Taking Drugs - I Blame All of This on the LACK OF DRUGS.

Today for your entertainment Blogstalkers, a conversation with my husband, after he got home from work yesterday.

Ryan: You look like you're deep in thought right now.

Lauren: I'm definitely in thought, but I've just started this thinking session so I'm not quite deep yet.  The thought waters are just licking my ankles.

Ryan: ::sigh:: I'm not even going to ask. I'm just not going to bite this time.

Lauren: There's nothing to bite.  I'm not even fishing yet RYAN.  I'm nowhere near deep enough.  God you'd be the worst fisherman ever.  You couldn't catch a trout if I threw one at your face.

Ryan: Sometimes I think I should just keep my mouth shut all the time.

Lauren: Yeah, sometimes I think that too.  I'd get a heck of a lot more done if your fish lips weren't always flapping in the breeze.  Wow I am really stuck on this maritime thing.  I don't even remember what I was shallow in thought about before.

Ryan: If it helps you were muttering "Stab stab stab" when I walked in.

Lauren: OH! That does help.

Ryan: Ok fine, tell me.

Lauren: Well today when I was trying to think of something to post about I got bored so I started imagining what my life would be like if I suddenly got shrunk.

Ryan: How shrunk?

Lauren: Like six inches tall.  And also very skinny.  But still a little curvy too, you know?

Ryan: ....

Lauren: So anyway what happens is that I just wander about my office for a while wishing that when I was larger I had had the foresight to purchase a Barbie convertible for shrunken me to cruise about in.

Ryan: Is there a point to this story?

Lauren: Not really.  So I'm lolling about, all thin but still curvy, bemoaning my lack of elegant transportation when I hear a whinny.  AND I REMEMBER THAT I HAVE A HORSE.



Ryan: ...

Lauren: And so I waste the next couple of hours, before the battle begins, galloping around (sidesaddle because I am a lady) on Tiny Danza.

Ryan: Did you say before the battle begins?

Lauren: Oh yeah, there was a bit of a skirmish.  You know Walter, my blue robot?  Well he's mad I married him to a monkey one day when I was bored and my pez dispenser Belle is also not OVER THE MOON about the fact that I just betrothed her to an octopus even though she should be pleased as punch since she has no arms and the octopus has arms to spare.

Lauren: So I tried to settle the disputes like a fair and slender dictator but Walter started getting really worked up and I was all "Don't be so C3PO'd dude, you're going to overheat!" which turns out is a really off-color remark to make to a robot so we gathered our forces and went to war.

Ryan: This is so ridiculous.

Lauren: The bobble head dolls were on my side obviously, they are SUCH yes-men.

Ryan: Obviously.

Lauren: Anyway, we all lined up and I was about to yell CHARGE! but then I realized I didn't have a weapon so Tiny and I cantered off to the kitchen where I grabbed a corn holder.  And then it was all just STAB STAB STAB!!


Walter and his Rag-Tag Gang.

My Loyal Companions.

Lauren: Sadly, there were some casualties.


Ryan: I'm going to take a nap.

Lauren: The story's over anyway.  Come on Tiny Danza, I'll put you to bed too, you've had a busy day today.


What would you do if you were tiny for a day Blogstalkers?

38 comments:

  1. There's a novel in there somewhere. You remind me of Wash on Firefly, playing with his dinosaurs. Good times.

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    Replies
    1. I really feel like I need to watch Firefly, I hear so many good things about it.

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    2. OHMYGODWATCHITRIGHTNOW!!! It has everything! Cowboys in space! Feel-good shenanigans! Evil government plots! Romance! There's only 14 episodes. Do yourself a favor.

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    3. Kristina4/03/2013

      YES!! its an amazing show, (i got a set for Christmas, so I'm really late to that party) by the end I was mad that there were not more episodes... so its a double edge sword...lol

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    4. I've tried to watch Firefly, but the first episode was a bit tedious. Does it get better?

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  2. Oh, Lauren.. I love the way your mind works! :)

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  3. Where are the heads? Are they on tiny pikes somewhere?
    And, where did you get the Big Bang Theory bobble heads?

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    Replies
    1. The bobble heads were sent to me on my birthday by a reader but you can find them here: http://www.amazon.com/Funko-Big-Bang-Theory-Wobbler/dp/B00846OQ3O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365020217&sr=8-1&keywords=big+bang+bobbleheads

      And the heads are displayed over the door of my office, to warn against future rebellions.

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  4. I need those Bing Bang bobbles!!!

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    Replies
    1. They were a birthday present but here's the link to Amazon! http://www.amazon.com/Funko-Big-Bang-Theory-Wobbler/dp/B00846OQ3O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365020217&sr=8-1&keywords=big+bang+bobbleheads

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  5. IS THAT A KOOSH PENGUIN? and some other fluffy koosh creature?

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    Replies
    1. Yep! And the pink one is a little chickie. The penguin hops and the chick lights up when you throw it at something. Both were Easter Basket items from my dad.

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  6. Ohh the tiny pikes would so be worth a picture. Then you could spin it into saving the world from Vlad Dracul or being blamed for it because you gave him the idea. Or having an all out apocalyptic battle between Barbie, Bratz and the Disney Princesses for control of the universe.

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    Replies
    1. Haha I would totally take a picture of the pikes if they were actually in existence. The animal butts are animal butt magnets, they never had a head to start with. I probably could fashion some barbie head pikes though...

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  7. My unholy army of penguin wind up toys wants to join the battle! (Several of them poop candy, so things could get messy.)

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    Replies
    1. Depends what side they're on....

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    2. That's difficult to say, since you've got your penguin forces divided up!

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  8. Haha! Your mind works in such spectacularly ridiculous ways... which is definitely a compliment! I love this :)!

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  9. OMG! I have that same blue robot. And his pink female counterpart (so no monkey weddings at my house).

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  10. Laurie4/03/2013

    If I were tiny for a day I would find out where the hell our cat goes all day. Seriously, she is gone for hours and we look everywhere and eventually she just wanders out and is all "WHAT??" My daughter is convinced she goes to Narnia. Then we bought her (my daughter, not the cat) a wardrobe from Ikea and when we opened the door the first time, the cat jumped right inside, thereby lending credence to the fact that Narnia is behind the wall of my daughter's room. And also I would sneak into my husband's pocket so I could go to work with him and hear all the wonderful things I KNOW he says about me every day. Oh and then try and take over the world, same thing as every day.

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    Replies
    1. cuz' we're Pinky,
      we're Pinky and the Brain,
      Brain,
      Brain,
      Brain,
      Brain.

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    2. Can I be Pinky?? I don't have the brains to be Brain but I could fake the accent and say YONK! alot.

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  11. Your children are going to have SO much fun!

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  12. If I were tiny for a day I'm sure life would be quite perilous as I'm most certain my cat would want to play and then try to eat me. But if the cat were not around then I'd be an even creepier version of elf on a shelf and try to freak people out.

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  13. I love this post!
    I think if I were tiny for a day I would go exploring in the garden... it would probably be really fun to sit inside the flowers and climb up the strawberry plants :D

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  14. If I was tiny I'd try to ride around on a butterfly. If I tried to ride a bird or bunny they might eat me.

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  15. Wow. With that imagination id have no desire to lave my house for days either ;)

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  16. my brain is so boring, I just think about normal stuff like laundr and my kid's lunches. I wish I thought of tiny wars and yes men....

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  17. I wish I had your imagination! The kids stole mine :/

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  18. i always daydream about two things. First, i always dream about becoming a hobo and where i would live and how i would eat, etc. its very fun, and i've done it since i read "My Side of the Mountain" when i was a kid.
    Secondly, i dream about being tiny in my house. sometimes i leave little grappling hooks i make from twist-ties and thread around so i would have a way to climb up and down from the counters. my kids have a tiny skateboard which i plan to use to get around the house.
    losing your imagination would make life SO boring! if you stop exercising it you can lose it, don't let that happen.

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  19. Without a doubt, if I was little for a day, I would ride my cats around like a horse and pretend I was a warrior princess looking to save her kingdom (sometimes I think I spend too much time writing creative pieces).

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  20. I'm jealous of your marriage.

    That's not a sad thing, because I'm only 22 and not married or even seeing anyone, so there's still hope for me yet to eventually say "HA! TAKE THAT, LAUREN! MY MARRIAGE IS AWESOME AND HILARIOUS, TOO!"

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  21. I would totally hang out with your AWESOME big bang theory bobble heads!!! I need those!

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  22. Sometimes I wish I lived in your head.

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