Every morning when I wake up the first thing I do, after letting the dogs outside, is check my email. Over time the number of emails I get has increased because of advertising pitches* and reader emails (which I love!) and the like. So recently I sat down for about one million hours and wrote a program using Microsoft Outlook that would sort my email for me.
*This week for example I heard from a company that wanted to send me a collection of their "intimacy oils" to use and review. For money. They wanted to pay me for sex. I considered it and then remembered about how I am not a hooker.
Comments into one folder, Facebook things into another, etc. I named the program "My Secretary". Ryan got sort of mad about it the other day when he found out that all emails from him go into a RYAN folder. Except for the ones that mention ski trips he wants us to take (too dangerous) or houses he wants to buy (we HAVE a house)... those get promptly deleted along with any email with the word "budget" in it.
He found about about the program just this week. He called me from work.
Ryan: Hey did you read the email I sent you about the house in Colorado?
Lauren: Ryan I have told you time and time again to stop calling me at work!
Ryan: Did you or did you not get it?
Lauren: I don't KNOW Ryan, My Secretary handles all of my emails.
Ryan: You don't have a secretary. It's not in the budget.
Lauren: That is what you think.
After hanging up, to prevent further such conversations I promptly instructed My Secretary to send the following response to all of Ryan's missives on the aforementioned topics.
Dear Sir or Madam,
Thank you for your thoughts on ski trips and budget cuts. They have been disregarded.
Lauren Gallagher (via her secretary)
He was not pleased.
Anyway, all of this just brings me to the email that I received this week, which resulted in an error message and was deemed "unsortable" by my previously never befuddled secretary.
An email with No Sender, No Subject and No Content. From New Year's Eve 1969.
Obviously future Lauren finally figured out time travel and then tried to come back to now to tell me all about it but overshot herself a bit and is now desperately trying to reach me but as it is 1969 her email capabilities are limited. It's the only explanation.
Hopefully she'll rectify the situation soon and then I will be able to ask her all of my burning questions about the future. Like, exercise isn't good for you after all right? And did anyone figure out how to make cheese with pigs' milk yet? And how does it taste? A little bit like bacon and a little bit like cheese right? I knew it.
Have a great weekend!
Oh and if you have a minute, check out The Fussy Britches blog I recently added to my "Blogs I Love" section!
(This post is sponsored by The Fussy Britches blog.)