Do Not Ever Watch The Music Video for Let's Get Physical. You Can Not Unsee It.

Hola Blogstalkers.

So this weekend Ryan and I went to a home fitness store because we are contemplating purchasing an elliptical machine to put in one of the many bedrooms in our house that is currently empty of babies.

I have extensive plans to then use this elliptical machine to be dainty.  I even imagined myself a getting-into-shape-movie-montage and it is playing pretty much on repeat in my head right now.  Although honestly it's actually starting to sort of piss me off because for some reason the first song my stupid brain thought of when I was making this imaginary montage was "Let's Get Physical" by Olivia Newton John and now I can't unthink it.  And then that in turn influenced the wardrobe decisions my mind made for this fantasy and slouch socks are not a good look on me.  I just look ridiculous in my head right now.  So much so that I'm actually reconsidering using the elliptical.  Way to convince me of the exact opposite of what I wanted again BRAIN.

Although I suppose now I don't actually have to exert any energy or do any stretching so maybe I should thank my brain?

Thank you Brain, you are smarter than I give you credit for sometimes.  You are not as dumb as I tell people.

Anyway, so we walked into this store and there was only one guy working and we were the only ones in there so he was like, super attentive.

Hi I'm Baxter! What are you all looking for today?

Lauren: Well Baxter, as you can tell, I'm pretty much always working out.

Ryan: You didn't work out today.

Lauren: UH Ryan, look around, I am practically in a gym right now.

Lauren: So as I was saying, everyone at the gym knows who I am.  I am a Cel-Ab-Brity (points to abs) in that place and it is getting tiring.  I always have to be "on" you know?  And like sometimes, I don't want to have to wear lipstick  and pants to jog on the treadmill.  So we have decided a home gym is just the thing.

Baxter: Great! Let me tell you about all of our different models!

And then we heard about all the different elliptical machines for like an hour and Ryan tried a bunch of them out and we decided on a specific model and then Ryan told me we could not even consider purchasing it until I tried it out myself.  But I was wearing cowboy boots which are my "Let's Do Work" boots and not my "Let's Do Workouts" boots so at first I was hesitant.  I mean, I'm not even good at gym things when I'm wearing gym shoes.

Eventually though I acquiesced and threw one leg up onto a pedal thingie followed closely by the other leg.  And then Ryan and Baxter just laughed and laughed at me because I had somehow managed to screw even that up and was facing the back of the machine.

I had used my horse-mounting maneuver.  I blame the boots.

How was your weekend?


33 comments:

  1. This is why I always use the same machines at the gym. I know that if I try something new, I will use it incorrectly or face the wrong way or do SOMETHING stupid. I have learned from experience that what I *think* the machine does and what it *actually* does are two very different things. I give you props for getting up there with cowboy boots on, that's badass.

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    1. My cowboy boots are all slippery so it made me nervous which is why I think I was paying more attention to not falling than to getting on the machine correctly.

      One time at the gym I was using this one tricep machine that I had been using regularly for about a year and then some guy came up to me and showed me the correct way to use it. I was doing it ALL wrong.

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    2. The one time I tried something new, I almost fell off because I was using it wrong (I thought it was an ab cruncher) so I got the hell off of it and went back to what I knew. A moment later, a guy went over to the machine I had used incorrectly and used it for it's intended purpose and I swear he gave me a meaningful look when he finished, as if to say "this is how you use it".

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  2. Michelle4/22/2013

    You can see now why that cartoon of the girl dancing made me think of you, right?

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    1. Oh yeah, I totally get it.

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  3. Please tell me the salesman's name really WAS Baxter and that you didn't change it to make life more interesting. Even if you have to lie to me. I just need to know that humans somewhere out there are called "Baxter."

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    1. Oh yeah it was Baxter. That's why I actually remember it.

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  4. We got an elliptical last year. I love it. It's SOOO convenient.

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    1. Yeah I'm really pulling for it. We have a gym membership but it can be a hassle to go, I would love to be able to just get out of bed and workout and have it done with for the day.

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    2. We figured by dropping our Y membership, it would basically pay for itself in less than a year. I do miss the strength machines, but for cardio it's so great to just hop on and go.

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    3. We have a gym membership and I have been there 3 times and Brian has been there 1 time...and we've had the membership since the beginning of February. it's TOTALLY working for us, right?

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  5. We have an elliptical in the tv room and every day it feels like it is daring me to work out. I lose that dare every day. Mostly because the couch is so much comfier. I like the couch.

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    1. Haha! I make myself rules like I am not allowed to watch certain shows unless I am on the elliptical. It works only sometimes.

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  6. Those things actually are very hard to get onto! There is no graceful way to accomplish that. I may need to consider one as well, because I'm pretty sure everyone hates me at our gym since the only thing I ever do while there is frightening the girl at the front desk by constantly demanding to know why the air doesn't go below 72 degrees. I just really like a cold environment when I work out (i.e. watch Bravo on the little TV attached to my machine) so that no one sees me sweat. Is that wrong? Perhaps. Does it stop me? No.

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    1. I think they keep my gym at 72 degrees too. But I'm ALWAYS cold so I don't mind it. Sure I eventually warm up and get all sweaty but I'm not sure I could handle less than 72 at first! Ryan keeps our house at 68-70 year round and I am constantly under a blanket.

      And yeah if I couldn't watch tv whilst working out I'm not sure I'd do it. It's terrible.

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  7. Oh those things freak me out a little bit. I'm always sure I will fall right off it when I try to get on.

    *I* think you should have gotten applause for not falling when you got on it. Way to fail, RYAN.

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    1. I swear I actually have used an elliptical about a thousand times before so I'm not sure how I ended up on it all wrong. I think I was too concerned about how slippery my boots were!

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    2. I once walked off a treadmill. I was in the last 5-10 minutes of my workout and had my eyes closed, but my hands on the rail to make sure I didn't fall off. Then, of course, an awesome song came on and OF COURSE I had to make the hand motions, along with the fake singing. I failed, however, to open my eyes. I walked right off it about 30 seconds later.

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  8. I decided last year that I needed an elliptical machine at my house so I can get rid of the "baby" weight (if by baby, you mean McDonalds because I gained AFTER I popped out my kid). Anywho, I put a note out on FB asking if any of my friends wanted to sell theirs and ended up getting an almost new one for way cheap. Try it before you buy one! =)

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    1. Thanks for the tip! We haven't pulled the trigger yet so I'll mention that to Ryan.

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  9. Oh, that video. It's times like that when I envy Carrie Fisher her extensive memory loss.

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  10. Once we were biking as a family, and my husband yelled "look at Mommy!" Then he and my kids started laughing hysterically because my helmet was on backwards.

    It's like they don't even WANT us to try being healthy!!!

    And I owned a treadmill for two years, did every mind trick in the world to convince myself to use it, but the real trick was how I could deliberately ignore it rather than use it, well, ever. So sold it, used the money to join a local running group (I never ran before, ever) and two years later am down 20lbs and have two half marathons under my belt!!

    So sometimes it is about finding your real workout passion even if it isn't anything you had ever expected it to be .... And to reemphasize, I had not only not been a runner but I used to br fat and make fun of runners ... I am being serious when I say try everything and don't rule out anything when searching for your Exercise Holy Grail!!

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  11. As I read this I was enjoying a Honey Bun. This should tell you mu knowledge of the elliptical. Thank you for the life lesson.

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  12. Lol, I think I'll stick to getting a treadmill instead!

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  13. LAUREN! College has gotten in my way of reading blogs and I have fallen behind on posts. :[

    Ellipticals are kind of scary in all honesty. That and they make you feel like you can run super fast. Although, that is pretty fun.

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  14. Now I can't stop that physical song from playing in my head.

    Oh and if I want to exercise, I just watch the Maniac scene from Flashdance. Just watching that will make you skinny and look exactly like Jennifer Beals' body double. I think there was a study backing up this claim, so it's science.

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  15. Do you know what else you can't unsee? David Hasselhoff's video of "Hooked on a Feeling." It's priceless and pure gold, and although you can't unsee it, you don't want to.

    What you definitely want to unsee is that guy eating a hamburger while drunk Please don't look for it on YouTube. It will haunt your nightmares.

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  16. I have enough time between my last viewing of that video that only snippets are coming in now and thankfully I'm not short thin or blonde so the comparisons of me in the wardrobe aren't happening easily. I do agree about not watching it though. While I'm glad music videos have advanced since the looks like shot it on a hand held camera the new ones confuse and scare me for different reasons. Enjoy the new work out machinery though. I go back and forth with staying on my routine but I'm totally looking forward to the workout themed posts.

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  17. I have gone as far as recording my step classes so I can do them at home and I have a Reebok step to use when catching up with programmes I have recorded such as Criminal Minds and The Following (and then I wonder why I have weird dreams...).

    I dream of being able to run when in reality after 100 yards I begin to resemble a fish out of water gasping for it's last breath. She is going to teach me how to job/run; I am guessing seen as she is good enough to consider running a marathon that she is going to be walking to my jogging!

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  18. We bought an $800 Nordic Track thing and set it up in the bedroom so that we could easily work out in the convenience of our own home. It was the handiest place for hanging clothes EVER! We even used it as a Nordic Track thing once or twice.

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  19. That's when you just have to own it and pretend like they're the ones who have been doing it wrong this whole time.

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  20. Just popping in to tell you you're adorable! I've lost 20 pounds since I met you at BlogHer and unfortunately I had to count calories (1,900-2,000 a day), plus work out on the home treadmill walking uphill.

    But I haven't lost ANY since Thanksgiving. I have to tell myself every night after dinner and my chocolates that "the kitchen is closed." You (we) can do it. XO

    ~ Heidi

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  21. Cowgirl boots are too blame for a lot of unfortunate situations, so don't be hard on yourself. Look at Jessica Simpsons shorts in These Boots Were Made For Walking. Actually look at everything post Nick. Cowgirl boots.

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