Last Night I Got My Engagment Ring Stuck On My Toe - I'll Tell That Story Another Time

Hey Blogstalkers!

I know I've done a post like this once before but today on a whim I checked out my Google Search Term stats for 2013 so far and OH MY GOD.  I have to share some of them with you all.

Things People Have Googled To Reach My Blog 

Filing Separately Blog - Haha, Ryan wishes.

2 boys & 1 girl. Frnds forever. - ::sigh:: I suppose.

Big Italian Nose - Shut up.  I don't come to your blog and say mean things about your nose.

Boob in coffee cub fab - I mean, that doesn't sound that fab to me, but whatever.

Cheerleader with a wedgie - Gross.  You are being inappropriate on the internet and that is not allowed.

Cinderella sitting on floor and crying - She does seem a bit of a weeper now that you mention it.  Maybe if she was less WOE IS ME all the time she'd realize that her little mouse friends can talk and sew and she is sitting on a gold mine.  Like a forget-glass-how-about-diamond-slippers sized gold mine.  Stupid Cinderella.

David Boreanaz, my underpants - Wait, I knew '<3' = 'love' but now you're telling me ',' = 'get in'?  I can not keep up with all these new-fangled keyboard shortcuts.

Dead sparrow on my porch - I'm sorry, I know how much that sucks. Here's A Perfectly Logical Way to Deal With That Situation.

Does Danica Patrick have boogers in her nose after an race - Stop asking me that, I DON'T KNOW.

Even if you hate everything nobody hates hula hoops - You know what sucks?  When you are in elementary school and someone throws a hula hoop to you like a frisbee and you don't catch it and it hits you in the face and then your gym teacher is all "Stop trying to catch it in your teeth! You are not a dog!" and your whole class thinks that is just the most hilarious thing they have ever heard and you are all, "If you don't all stop laughing I will catch you in my teeth!" and then you get a time out.

How to say happy birthday to Lauren on Facebook - Just say Happy Birthday Lauren!  Definitely don't say Happy Birthday You Big Italian Nose!

I hate it when I sneeze and hit my head - Me too!

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Your mom is a whore. - I guess...Santa Claus comes tonight?

I will never let you go, you're too cute. - I told you Ryan, I saved my blog in your Favorites, you can stop googling this to get to it.

I'm an accountant - This WOULD be something an accountant would google...right after googling "Today is Wednesday."  Nothing flashy or interesting for us accountants.

Kissing pickles - They're not for kissing stupid.  They're for eating.

Lauren Gallagher calves - You mean like baby cows?  Oh never mind that's a muscle right.  Yeah, mine are pretty nice, I go to the gym a lot.  Obviously. (Also as code I am forever more implementing the phrase 'baby cows' to praise people's legs in public.  Like, hey Vanessa, check out the baby cows on that dude.)

Matthew Macfadyen, my underpants - AGAIN with the comma thing.

Mostly wordless chapter books - I don't think you know how chapter books work.

Straight line that curves 20 degrees -  I don't think you know how math works.

We broke up but we can still be cousins - I don't think you know how cousins work.

Tito Jackson where does he hang out - Where there is love, he'll be there.

Justin Timberlake meow - I know right!? Justin Timberlake comma my underpants...if you know what I mean.

So that seems like enough for today.  Fess up Blogstalkers, were any of these you?

26 comments:

  1. I seriously laughed out loud while reading this- thank you for that!

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    1. Sure! Sometimes! ( I would say Anytime! but that seems like a lot to live up to.)

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  2. Now I want a pickle. And Matthew Macfayden. Not necessarily in that order.

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    1. True story, so many of the other searches mentioned cheese in some way that I actually had to take a break and eat a string cheese.

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    2. Or Matthew Macfayden's pickle?

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    3. Was that inappropriate? Sorry. I'm kind of famous for not realizing when I'm being inappropriate. Delete if you like. Mea culpa...

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    4. Oh don't even worry about it! I'm not easily offended and that wasn't even that inappropriate.

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  3. Did I miss the one where "boob in a coffee cup" could in any way bring the Googler to your blog?

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    1. Yeah I'm not sure about that one...I know I've mentioned my boobs and I know I've mentioned coffee cups but I don't think even in tandem, so who knows. I could probably look at what post they landed on but that seems like a lot of work and my chicken nuggets are almost done.

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  4. Boob in a coffee cup?

    *tries it out*

    Not as fun as it sounds.

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    1. I KNEW it wouldn't be fab.

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  5. Bahahaha the coma thing seriously killed me

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  6. I agree, Accountants totally WOULD search for 'I'm an accountant.' Not me, though, I'm a way more interesting CPA than that... I hope.

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  7. I've had some doozy's too! Sometimes you just have to shake your head. Or write a funny post about it!

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  8. Lilibet3/20/2013

    I laughed out loud at work when I read "Justin Timberlake comma my underpants." I don't comment much but your blog posts always kill me and I am so excited whenever you post a new one.

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  9. "Mostly wordless chapter books - I don't think you know how chapter books work."

    Oh Lauren, ruby jewelry. (That was a code for Ryan. To buy you rubies. Worth a shot, right?)

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  10. Anybody else shoot tea out of their nose when they read, and I quote: "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Your mom is a whore. - I guess...Santa Claus comes tonight?"

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  11. I hereby take credit for the Tito Jackson referral to your blog! Ok, fine, I'll split it 60/30 with you (me 30) since you own the blog, and mentioned Tito Jackson... but I ALSO mentioned Boston's Tito Jackson in the comments and as an SEO-er in real life, I can tell you that comments do impact what Google thinks your blog is about.

    Marshmallows visit the moon!

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  12. Sometimes after I read what queries found my blog I double check the locks. And I turn the alarm on!

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  13. Ian Sommerhalder, my bed

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  14. These are priceless!!!

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  15. LOL nope none of those are me, I have you niftily book marked and stuff.

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  16. omg, how does that even happen? how do people search such strange things? I laughed out loud, thank you so much :)

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  17. Anonymous3/21/2013

    No, none of there were me. But..I just might have also had my engagement ring stuck on my toe at one time. Or maybe it was...oh never mind.

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  18. Wait... So did Danica Patrick have boogers?! I am so confused.

    Hugs!

    Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi

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  19. Someone once Goggled, "I have super glue on my face. What do I do?" and arrived at my blog. Yep. I have a following of people who mess with superglue.

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