I do so love the beginning of a new year. Just the idea of a fresh start always gets me excited. I used to feel the same way about the beginning of a new semester in college. I'd buy new notebooks and pens and make elaborate library schedules and wear fancy button/zipper closure pants and go to class and pay attention and do all of the suggested problem sets. For one week. And then I would be like "Watching this Saved By The Bell - The College Years marathon is the same thing as going to class."
I usually do pretty much the same exact thing with New Year's Resolutions. But not this year! Maybe!
I spent a couple of hours yesterday making a list of resolutions, both light-hearted and serious because I think both are important and now I will share a portion of my resolutions (and Ryan's reaction to some of them after I made him read my list.)
- You know that new diet book The Virgin Diet? Do that, but with modifications. Like cheese is OK after midnight or whenever naked. Call it The Promiscuous Diet or The Slutface Diet so as not to confuse people or invite lawsuits from the creator of the original diet when you blog about how "it totally does not work."
No cheese in the shower. No big deal RYAN. You know I almost always accidentally get into the shower while still wearing my underwear anyway.
- Remember to close the curtains more. The neighbors are Nosy Noras.
I think one of them just got a telescope for Christmas too. What!? Relax Lauren, I'm sure it's just to look at the stars. We live in a big city Ryan, there ARE no stars here! Where are my sign-making supplies? Please no signs.....
- Hang sign in window that says "Point it elsewhere perv."
- Finally convince Ryan that his joke about how the Orlando WNBA answer to The Magic should be renamed The Tricks is not hysterical and is in fact, sexist.
You totally cracked up when I said that the first time. That was awkward nervous laughter from being so offended! You said it was the best thing you'd heard all year. We were two minutes into 2013! It was either that or "Time to take down the Christmas tree!"
- Get that tattoo we considered.
What tattoo? And who is we? Oh ummm...well "we" sort of just means all of the Laurens. Like Past Lauren who wrote the list and Present Lauren who is reading the list and Future Lauren who will actually go get the tattoo. I'm really never the same Lauren twice. Oh and THIS tattoo. On my toe.
Get it? Because then it will be my... Oh Good God Lauren. Seriously? Yes! My MISSILE-TOE!! We are going to get into so much mischief, all the Laurens, my toe and I!
- Learn choreography as done by Selena Gomez and her dancer friends to the Taylor Swift song Trouble.
You know, you say I don't say enough nice things to you but I will say this, your taste in dance routines has increased dramatically since you were 16 and had that ridiculous routine to that one Lee Ann Womack song. Oh yes...Why They Call It Falling...wait how do you even know about this!? I only did that routine when no one was home. I was in unrequited love and it was dramatic and angsty and... Your sister told me about it. She saw you performing it one time. On top of the coffee table. You thought she was at cheerleading practice. She said you were wearing something really weird too. A petticoat from my old Laura Ingalls Wilder Halloween costume and a sports bra. Shut up, stop laughing! You know what, give me back my list. You can't read it anymore. Don't act like you didn't do stupid things when you were younger too. You chose your confirmation name (Sebastian) because in the movie Cruel Intentions Sebastian got to hook-up with Reese Witherspoon who you loved with a fiery passion. That's not even true. I chose Sebastian because he is the patron saint of athletes. Oh because you're such a sparkling athlete. Yeah. Thanks to me choosing Sebastian as my patron saint. I'm done with this conversation. Seacrest Out.
So those are some of my resolutions. But my very most important one right now is "If you're going to do this then do it." And by it I mean Blogging. I need to get better at it, post more often, answer more comments/emails in a timely manner. I'm seriously going to try in 2013.
What are some of your resolutions Blogstalkers?
OH, P.S. I am dumb and I found a box of unsent Christmas cards in the trunk of my car today when I went to the grocery store. So yep. Some of you are going to be getting those in about three days. Just think of them as very early Christmas 2013 cards. I am so on top of things this year already.