Have I ever told you all that I'm an extensive chronicler? As in I write in a journal every day of my life pretty much. Even if it's only two or three sentences. I've been doing this since I was like 13 so I have a giant box of journals in my closet. I pulled them out today and I now give you excerpts from this month-ish in Lauren's life for the past 15 years.
I started the journals after I first read Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl so I followed her lead of writing in my journal as if I was writing to an old friend. And yep, chose the name Anne. I still write to Anne. Also, I am paraphrasing entries here, so some of this stuff will sound like a younger version of me and some will sound like normal me. Haha, normal me. That's not a thing.*
*(OHMYGOD I am turning into Ryan.)
1997 - 13 Year Old Lauren
I went to Kathi's house for her baby shower today. I didn't want to go because I got yelled at yesterday in the pool when she told me that swimming made you feel weightless while pregnant and I said "Huh, I'd think it would be the opposite." But then my mom said I could wear a pair of her low pumps so I went.
1998 - 14 Year Old Lauren
My germ crazy father went on a cleaning spree again this morning. He decided microwaving the kitchen sponge would rid it of disease but really what happened is that the sponge exploded and now the entire house smells like sour fish and my dad is freaking out about the microwave being covered in salmonella. I'm so glad it's a school day. If I come home and he's put my toothbrush in the dishwasher again I am going to be so pissed.
Note: My dad is not totally insane about germs but he does create his own bleach-based cleaning products and he goes on a bit of a rampage whenever my mom is using raw chicken for dinner. And yes he did regularly wash our toothbrushes in the dishwasher.
1999 - 15 Year Old Lauren
I have a feeling that being a member of Science Olympiad, Scholastic Bowl and the Debate team is not going to get me any boyfriends any time soon. Which is FINE WITH ME.
Note: It was most assuredly not fine. All I wanted was for someone to hold my hand at the movie theater. Which is weird because although Ryan was not the first boy I kissed, he was the first one to hold my hand at the movies. And he still does. He's so sweet. Except one time he told me that he loves going to movies because it's the only time he can be sure I'll be quiet for two hours all at once.
2000 - 16 Year Old Lauren
Today I got kicked off the Debate team for being "sexually inappropriate" on a tournament trip.
Note: OK yes this happened but it was a large misunderstanding. Basically I was rooming with my friend Girl* and we were hanging out in our room reading when my other friend Guy* and one of his roommates knocked on the door. It turns out their other roommate had accidentally locked them out and then fallen asleep. So yeah they spent the night in our room. But there were two beds and absolutely nothing untoward occurred. Try explaining that to people in high school though. My reputation was slightly marred.
*Names changed to protect the, and I stress this, INNOCENT.
2001 - 17 Year Old Lauren
I read 122 books last year! In unrelated news, I still do not have a boyfriend.
2002 - 18 Year Old Lauren
Ryan Gallagher! This feels like a weird dream but I know that it's not because in my dreams I've graduated out of training bras and I know that the correct way to get into a train on a date to the city is not by tripping on the door and falling in wearing a dress. Sometimes I hate my life. Right now I love it.
2003 - 19 Year Old Lauren
(to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy)
I'm a Kappa Beta Gamma,
Kappa Beta til I die!
And if I couldn't be a KBG,
I'd want to sit down and cry.
I came all the way to college,
Just to have a social world.
Kappa Beta came to college just to have a party,
I am a Kappa Beta Girl!
Are you as disgusted as I am? Yeah. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go choreograph a dance to Baby Got Back by the distinguished Sir Mixalot so that I can then perform said dance in front of large numbers of disgusting frat boys.
Note: Yes some of the sorority stuff I endured was kind of ridiculous and degrading and honestly I dropped out junior year because I was too busy but I did come out of it with some of my current best friends including Vanessa and Oma (on the left in the picture below.) Also, I still know all the words to Baby Got Back and remember the dance so there's that.
|Oma, Me, Taylor|
2004 - 20 Year Old Lauren
I ate 17 Chicken McNuggets for dinner yesterday. New personal best. OJ was horrified. Ryan was unfazed.
2005 - 21 Year Old Lauren
As of midnight two nights ago I'm finally 21. Sorry for not writing you about this momentous occasion sooner, I was still recovering from having one too many birthday shots and then making Ryan and OJ carry me (feet on OJ's shoulders, chest on Ryan's) home from the bar because apparently "Every girl should fly through the streets like an angel once in her life." WTF LAURENRAE?
2006 - 22 Year Old Lauren
Ryan and I are graduating from college this year. I wonder if he will propose soon?
2007 - 23 Year Old Lauren
Ryan recently decided he wanted to run a marathon and then I remembered about how Disney hosts a marathon each year in February. So now I'm totally going to do it too. Anything to get me back into Aladdin's arms.
Notes: We did both start training for the marathon that spring but that summer I fractured my left leg (while running) and so alas the Disney marathon was a no-go. Ryan finished his training though and as I've mentioned before, ran the Chicago marathon in October 2007.
2008 - 24 Year Old Lauren
Ryan took me skiing for our sixth year anniversary. I took lessons yesterday. Then today my instructor deemed me ready for the slopes. Actually he said, "There's not much more I can do here, be careful with her," to Ryan, but I feel that is much the same thing. Wish me luck today!
Later: Turns out I am not expert ski person. I swear I tried but I fell about thirty times in the first five minutes and my ski kept falling off and my goggles were stuck to my face from all the crying so eventually I just gave Ryan my skis and sticks and he skied them down the hill while I scooted down on my butt. Then Ryan and I got into a fight about how he had taken me on way too difficult of a hill and that was why I failed. He swears it was some sort of green or blue hill, whatever that means, but I can't imagine that's true. I mean, there was a tree. Sounds like a dangerous professional hill to me.
Note: Sticks=poles I'm sure. I've not gone skiing since. Unless you count Wii skiing. Which I do.
2009 - 25 Year Old Lauren
I just turned 25, that's old enough to get married right?
2010 - 26 Year Old Lauren
While eating breakfast this morning I found an unnaturally large fruit loop. So, obviously I put it on my ring finger and pretended I was engaged for the rest of the morning. People at work don't even blink any longer. Then I saved the fruit loop and took it home and gave it to Ryan and told him it was my exact ring size and that he could take it to the jewelry shops with him. He told me he would propose right that second if he could do it with the fruit loop.
Note: I know this story seems a little out there but it's actually true. Vanessa will probably remember me telling her this story a couple of years ago. My ring finger is tiny (my rings are a size 4) so it's not super rare that an applejack or something fits on it. Ryan proposed approximately two months later. He did not bring the fruit loop with him to the jewelry store.
2011 - 27 Year Old Lauren
Sorry I've neglected you so badly these last weeks. I'm a married lady now with hardly any time for friends that NEVER WRITE ME BACK.
2012 - 28 Year Old Lauren
In an odd mishap, while eating snowcaps and cleaning out my wallet, I swallowed a dime today. My doctor says I should be fine.
So ummm that's all for today, sorry this entry was dumb. Seriously seriously have writer's block. Now I'm off to make Lemon Zucchini Muffins, Salmon Burgers and Roasted Pineapple Milkshakes!
Do any of you keep a journal? Or have you read your old journals and found something hilarious? (Once my sister and I found her journal from when she was like nine and gave boys code names and the boy she had a crush on was named The Lion King.)