Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat.
Please to put a penny in the old man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny, a ha' penny will do.
If you haven't got a ha' penny, God Bless You!
And he was like, "What the heck was that?" And I was like "Oh just a song a learned in the class I took a couple of years back on antiquated Christmas carols. And then he was all "I don't remember you taking any class of the sort." And I was all "Yes well it was self-taught and I was the only student in the class and it met at 3AM every night in October that one year I had really bad insomnia."
And then he groaned in frustration and got out of bed. And I said "I'm sorry you have to go back to work today." And then Mr. Rude Pants Ryan was all "Are you kidding? I am overjoyed to be going back to work today." I forgave him though because he used the word 'joy' which everyone knows is a Christmas word.
And also because he's not going to be so overjoyed to be at work when he notices the little surprise I slipped into his bag this morning when I was packing his lunch.
|It's our brand new Elf On The Shelf.|
Update: Ryan has discovered the elf and called me. And then we had this conversation.
Ryan: Lauren why the hell is there a small mischievous elf in my bag next to my chicken salad?
Lauren: She is keeping an eye on you for me. And then she reports anything bad you've done while you were out of my sight to both me and SANTA.
Ryan: Santa has never brought me presents because of how I am Jewish.
Lauren: Perhaps. Or maybe you've always just been really very bad. This could be the year that you turn it around!
Ryan: I have to go. Stop calling me at work.
Lauren: HA! You called me this time. YOU stop calling ME at work. I have things to do!
Ryan: *mutters something unintelligible*
Lauren: That elf is going to have so much to report to me today.
Update 2: Ryan just got home from work and when I gave him his usual giant hug he was like "Why do you smell like cinnamon?" And I was like "I may have put a lot of it into my conditioner this morning."
In other news, I have picked two winners in My Thanksgiving Giveaway - they are Mrs H (who is thankful for hula hoops) and Megan (who is thankful for whiskey.) If either of these people are you, please email me at LaurenRaeGallagher@gmail.com to collect your prizes.
Also, My Christmas Campaign is going pretty strong, be sure to friend me on FB here and like my current status so I can make Ryan and OJ and Vanessa dress up and pass out candy canes on Michigan Avenue this December.
And OH, we have to name our elf. I was trying to make Ryan do it but all of the names he suggested on the phone were very, let's just say, not for gentle ears. Any suggestions?
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be going. Ryan is trying to take a nap and I need to go read him a Christmas bedtime story. Don't feel bad for him, I gave him the choice between that and a lullaby. He never chooses lullaby. Maybe because the one time he did I sang "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman" in a very deep soothing voice.