I Should Title This: The Worst Post I've Ever Written, But I Won't

Happy Hump Day Blogstalkers.

I'm really sad I just typed that.  Really very sad.  I hate that saying.  I'm blaming my fingers.  They're always doing things I don't like.  Just yesterday they flicked Ryan in the forehead with absolutely no reason or warning.  He totally didn't deserve it.  Don't worry though, I gave them a firm talking to immediately following the incident.  I was all "NO FINGERS! BAD!"  And then Ryan was all "I don't know how many times we have to go over this, but you have to stop pretending that your individual body parts do not act independently of your brain."  And then my foot kicked him.

I later rewarded my foot with a toe ring and a slice of pie - which my foot did not eat because apparently my snobby foot is on a diet.  I wish my damn butt would go on a diet.  Don't fret, the pie did not go to waste.  My mouth ate it.

Well that was just a load of nonsense.  I blame my fingers.

I don't know what to post about today, so here are some random things.

1.  A picture of me and my sisters when we were little.  I am the one that looks like a grape.  This was the unfortunate year in which I was the least cute of all of my siblings.  I am happy to repeat that has never been repeated in the years since.

The happy days before my brother came along and mucked everything up.
2. Today I drank a venti iced coffee from Starbucks while sitting on the couch and trying to write this post.  I was concentrating so hard on being funny that it took me too long to realize I was about to wet my pants so I raced to the master bathroom and um, well you know what happens in a bathroom.  Then I looked up and realized I had not closed the bathroom door and also that the blinds on the window in the bedroom directly in front of the bathroom - the window that faces approximately thirty apartments -  were wide open.  This is the third and worst time I have accidentally flashed my neighbors.  I panicked and waved thinking at least then anyone that saw me would think I was some sort of modern nudist and  not just an idiot.  In retrospect I wish I would not have waved.

3. A picture of Ryan and OJ skiing.  I am only posting this because just yesterday I found out via eavesdropping on a phone conversation that when Ryan and OJ go skiing they make a playlist and put it on both of their iPods and then start it at the top of the hill at the exact same second so that they are listening to the same music all the way down the hill.  And then I was like "Gross."  And then I made them a new playlist and sent it to both of them.

1) Man I Feel Like A Woman - Shania Twain
2) Tainted Love - Soft Cell
3) Invisible - Clay Aiken
4) True Colors - Cyndi Lauper
5) Afternoon Delight - Starlight Vocal Band

What can they say, girls just want to have fun.  
4. After I made that playlist I was like "That is actually a great playlist.  And then I listened to it on repeat for the whole morning.

5. I ordered two of these from Amazon yesterday.  One red and one yellow.  I'm going to carry them in my purse all of the time.  I can not wait for them to get here so I can start throwing them when Ryan does things like not letting me get the macaroni that is shaped like Spongebob Squarepants at the store or tells me that no he does not in fact think I would look great with a shaved head and he doesn't care how much easier that would make my life and why if I can shave my head can I not manage to do my legs every once in a while.

And then I will shout "There's a flag on the play!" And Ryan will be exasperated.
6. I already posted this on Facebook, but I got to the grocery store yesterday (yes I go to the store a lot, it's very close and I'm always deciding helter skelter to make cookies or something) and looked down and saw this.  Slippers and christmas socks.  Not even good, hard-soled slippers, just cloth ones.  I was walking around in glorified socks.  This is why they don't sell me alcohol.


7.  Just a reminder that if you want a holiday card from Ryan and OJ and I to send your address to me at LaurenRaeGallagher@gmail.com.  I won't actually send the cards until after Thanksgiving so don't stalk your mailboxes until then.  My Christmas card list is getting really impressive.  I'm up to like 300 people.  Super exciting.

8. This video has been around the block a few times, but it is awesome so I am posting it here.  That is all.



9. Tell me something about yourself in the comments?

102 comments:

  1. I would love a holiday card from you. :] If you include your address, I will send one back to you. Though, depending on when I receive mine, you might get yours as a part of a New Year holiday card thing.

    Today, my sister found a baby kitten on her property and she is so darn cute, I have decided to take her. :] She is a Siamese and I named her Mocha. I love her already.

    I am slowly, but surely, turning into the crazy cat lady. At twenty.

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    1. I have a P.O. box now so I'll share that address at some point in the future. I just don't want anyone to feel like they need to send me things.

      I love kittens. They are super adorable and I want one but Ryan is allergic to them...so he says.

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    2. AWWWWW!!!! I'm trying to find a home for little stray kitty whose taken up residence on my deck, so seeing you say you took in one gives me hope for my stray. (I have 4 cats already so I can't take this one in :'( breaks my heart.)

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    3. My family and I tend to take in the strays. My sister is unable to keep her and I couldn't bare the thought of her going to the pound.

      Lauren, you should tell Ryan it's either a kitten or a baby. :]

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  2. Can't wait for your Christmas card, that should be a happy mailbox day! :)

    I like to drink chocolate milk more than anything else, and I (not so) secretly love Degrassi the Next Generation.

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    Replies
    1. Chocolate milk is so amazing. So amazing.

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  3. 1. This post made me laugh really hard which is just what I needed after the day at the doctors in which my children hate me.

    2. I had a dream with you in it last night but I can't remember it and I know it had something to do with blogs. So, I think I read your blog too much. (My husband agrees too. But, it won't ever stop me!)

    3. Something about me? I'm about to go make grilled cheese and put parmesan cheese on it and see how it turns out. Because, I crave cheese every time I read your blog. Even if you don't mention it.

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    1. 1. So glad!

      2. I get a weird sense of satisfaction about myself when people tell me I was in their dreams. I don't know why. It makes me feel famous or something. I hate when I'm in my own dreams though, I'm always like, "great, here comes me to screw things up again."

      3. And now I want grilled cheese.

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    2. Hi, random addition to the grilled cheese discussion:

      Make a grilled cheese with Brie.
      smear your preferred type of jam (or apple butter) on top, then devour awesomeness.

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    3. That IS delish. Did it with raspberry preserves. Glorious. Try also (a la Serendipity 3), American, Brie, Cheddar and Swiss.

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    4. That sounds amazing. MUST TRY IT. I made cheeseburger pizza (a frozen one, obviously, since my husband REFUSES to try my pizza) for dinner. It had stuffed crust. I LOVED IT.

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    5. Now it's 8:30 at night and I'm craving Brie! :)

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    6. I'm always craving Brie. It's a blessing and a curse.

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  4. Anonymous11/14/2012

    I am laughing my head off at 1) the fact that Ryan and OJ have that simultaneous playlist (do they choriograph their skiing moves, too?) and 2) your awesome playlist for them. Bravo.

    Ps- I'm sorry you have a gay husband.

    Pss- Not that there's anything wrong with that. To each their own.

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    1. I don't *think* they choreograph their moves but I am not sure about this since I have never been skiing with both of them.

      And sometimes I do wonder....(not seriously, I swear the man is straight as a board)

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  5. Something about myself: I just started following your blog!

    Also, I don't think I've ever accidentally left the house in slippers, but I HAVE accidentally left the house in pajama pants. How I didn't realize they were the wrong pants when I bent over to put my shoes on, I'm not sure, but it happened somehow.

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    Replies
    1. Yay!

      And yep, I've been there. Regular pants should be more comfortable then maybe I'd wear them more. Maybe.

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  6. Lisa P.11/14/2012

    I was looking at your family picture and remembering the time my younger brother - without warning, mind you - started posting our old family pictures on Facebook. I grew up in the horrific hair/fashion eras of the 70's and 80's. I can blame the 70's clothing on my mom, but the 80's is all on me. I look at those pictures and think, did I really need THAT much hair?

    My guilty pleasure is the show "Wipeout". I know, I'm a horrible person for laughing at people who fall down all the time, but I can't help it!

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    Replies
    1. Ok I totally totally also watch Wipeout from time to time. And almost fall off the couch laughing. Ryan doesn't get it as much, but seriously, funny stuff.

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  7. Veronica11/14/2012


    This weekend, I ran a race with my dad. I was running REALLLY late so I basically had to spring to the starting line (not a good way to start a race by the way). About a mile into it I was going to pee my pants. So I had to pee like 3 feet into the woods which have NO leaves mind you, with my dad just standing in front of me to block me. At least you were in a house while flashing people. I was just right out there. Least classy thing ever.

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    1. Ok your story actually makes me feel very relieved (haha relieved, Lauren you punny punny girl) because someone told me like a week ago that sometimes runners just go ahead and pee in their pants during races so they don't have to stop and it blew my mind. I'm so glad you stopped!

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    2. I run and I will admit that I have pee'd my pants mid-race. The sad part is most people who do that do it while running a marathon. I did it mile 2 of a 5K (which is 3.1 miles). That's essentially 20 minutes in - I'm slow. It was bad. Thank god I had earphones in because I DID NOT want to hear the people around or behind me.

      I'm not counting that as something about myself. I will tell you my happy running thing - I ran a marathon this past Saturday. And in celebration all this week I am eating whatever I want. Today I had M&Ms + Gummy bears + Chocolate pie. And the day's not over.



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    3. Veronica11/15/2012

      Congrats on the marathon! That is my ultimate goal. Although I don't know if I would ever care enough about my time to literally pee my pants. My brother ran a marathon a few years ago and there were people crossing the finish line who had actually pooped their pants. Now that's rough.

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  8. Something odd about myself? Well, I'm a member of a writing group and we were talking about how we get over writer's block. Later in the day I commented about being stuck at a certain point and they suggested I go to my normal place for getting over the writers hump.
    file:///C:/Users/User/Downloads/photo%20(6).JPG
    The sad thing is that the other people in the office who walked by didn't think it odd of me at all...I have done weirder things...on a daily basis.


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    Replies
    1. Ahh can't see the picture! And now I'm dying to see the picture.

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    2. Sorry! I am soooo untechy...I had to copy and paste for myself to see it. I think I will break out the slate and chisel again. *sigh*

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  9. Paige Hudson Garcia11/14/2012

    Crazy question, but do you & the sister in red look alike as adults? I couldn't help but notice that in this photo, she looks JUST like you when you're smiling next to Ryan in the preschool Christmas pageant pic.

    About me (#9) - I LOVED this post (so you're not allowed to hate it :-) I'm also SO getting on your Christmas card list. I can only imagine.

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    Replies
    1. My sister and I look almost exactly alike in real life except she is much much tinier than I am in all senses of the word. She's like just over five feet tall while I am like 5'8" and itsy bitsy. She's my mini-me.

      And just you wait, the card has been planned and is epic.

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  10. This weekend I attended the awesome wedding of my friends Trish and Rachel and it was super fun! And they had rainbow cake and a grilled cheese truck. You would have loved it.

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    Replies
    1. I am so angry at this moment that I did not have a grilled cheese truck at my wedding, sounds amazing.

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  11. I am very much looking forward to your Christmas card too.
    I will tell you two things about myself, every time I eat lots of cheese,or shop for cheese or see something cheesy on a menu I think of you. Second thing, I want to buy a hot pink Christmas tree and decorate it with zebra print glitter bulbs.

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    1. First, if you do get that tree, please send me pictures. I will print the pictures and put them in tiny ornament picture frames and hang them on my tree.

      Second, you are awesome.

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  12. You and your sisters are adorable! love the outfits too! I so wish I could make my kids do that!

    Something about me: today I went to my middle childs Thanksgiving lunch at school. He ate all my cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. I was sad and hungry. ;)

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    1. My mom let us pick out the colors of our sweatsuits so I actually remember being really excited about them. I wore that sweatsuit to death. It got a hole in the knee from overuse and I cried and then my mom sewed the hole into a decorative little sun and I kept wearing the sweatsuit.

      And that is not funny. If someone ate my pie, child or not, they'd be in trouble mister.

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  13. Omg that sounds like something my fiance and his best friend would do if they went skiing. I have caught them watching a movie together on netflix. At seperate houses. They were on skype and started it at the same time. And continued skypeing through the movie so they could talk about it.

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    1. So glad someone else understands! It's like bromance to the five millionth degree. Sometimes it is funny and sometimes I am like, Ryan I don't think OJ needs you to describe how your dinner tastes right now.

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    2. Skypeing through movies! Brillant idea LoraLee's fiance !!

      Thank you!

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    3. Will now need code for the bro's in the bromance saga. I am thinking Shaggy and Scooby but that's just because I associate being extremely hungry with them. Yes, I'm aware of how strange that is but it can't be helped. Sorry!

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  14. Somethings about me... I'm currently obsessed with The Avett Brothers and have their music playing almost constantly and so far this year I've read 91 books. My goal for the year is 112.

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    1. Why 112? Did you read 111 last year? I always mean to count and then lose track. I know I average about a book every three days so we are probably right on par with each other. And now I'm going to go look up The Avett Brothers.

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    2. LOL, 112 was completely arbitrary. I keep track on Goodreads because I could never actually keep track without it. My favorite of their songs include: The Ballad of Love and Hate, Live and Die and Murder in the City.

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    3. I obsess over the Avett brothers too! When my husband and I fight he sings Shame to me.

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    4. Oh, Shame, another great one! Love finding fellow Avett Brothers fans!
      =)

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    5. The Avett Brothers are amazing!

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    6. I love the Avett Brothers, too!

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  15. My husband insists that my feet are independent of my brain because they dance in my sleep. They have names.

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    1. Oooh what are the names?

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    2. One is Barklay Felix Footsil. The other is Stubbly... I guess Footsil now, since my feet are in a homosexual foot marriage. That looks so preposterous written out.

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  16. 1. I used to eat roly polies when I was a kid.
    2. I wish we could be friends in real life. I think you're pretty awesome.
    3. My favorite shot is hershey's syrup and peppermint schnapps. Take the schnapps, hold it in your mouth, then squirt the chocolate syrup and shake your head to mix. It's fuuunnnn. And surprisingly quite refreshing.
    4. I am 29 years old, work at an attorney's office and have an obsession with glittery nail polish.
    5. Yesterday, I had my dress on backwards all day. Didn't realize it until I changed into my pj's last night.

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    Replies
    1. 1. I ate a worm once. On a dare.
      2. I think you're pretty awesome too, obviously.
      3. I will try that at 5:01 PM today. Or now, one of those two.
      4. I wish I was better at nail polish. I'm too impatient.
      5. I do that with tee shirts all the time. Sometimes inside out too.

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  17. My winter slippers are orange Crocs (the original, super gross kind) with broccoli Jibbets. My husband says they are not appropriate to wear in public, but I showed him your Facebook post yesterday and he is now on board with my brocs. (See what I did there?!?!) So thank you for indirectly helping me win that argument.

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    1. You are welcome. I have red crocs with white fur lining and Disney princess Jibbets. My husband hates them. He also bought them for me. So it's his own fault really. They're my Christmas shoes.

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  18. Sorry that you are sad. I ate a whole bag of chocolate toffee today even though I am on a diet. It was delicious but I feel like a total cow. xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Oh I'm no longer sad. I was just sad I typed the phrase "hump day" because that phrase bugs me for some reason. Toffee is the best candy, hands down. The gourmet stuff makes me faint from deliciousness.

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  19. Keeping your head shaved would be way easier than maintaining legs. First of all, less surface space on your head equals less shaving time. Second, heads have a lack of knees...hopefully...which are the greatest hazard/deterrent of leg shaving.

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  20. I love your blog and it can't be the worst post ever if it made me laugh out loud...at work. I love how your brain works...it totally makes sense to me :)
    As for something about me...I LOVE TAZ!!!! So much so, that I tease my husband and tell him I married him because he is totally Taz in human form...seriously, he is shaped JUST like him...little legs, big body, no neck and he eats EVERYTHING! (He of course prefers to say he resembles Mr. Incredible)

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  21. I have always wanted to synchronize playlists with someone, but my friends obviously aren't as cool as Ryan and OJ.

    Weird things about myself:

    1. I'm afraid of the storm drains on the side of the road. Like the ones that drain all the rain. I don't know why, but I hate them.

    2. I have an obsession with Spider-Man. Much larger than any 21-year-old girl should ever have on a comic book hero.

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    Replies
    1. Storm drains are creepy because Pennywise the clown from It was hiding in a storm drain. I always panic when a dog I'm walking gets too curious and sniffs in a drain because I'm afraid the clown will snatch the dog.

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  22. I hate the term "Happy Hump Day", too. Yeah, I get what it means but it just sounds so ...dirty. And not in a good way.

    I have random, kooky thoughts just like you and that's one of the reasons I love reading your posts.

    Something about me... I run endurance races not for the accomplishment, the glory or the exercise. It's for the medals. That's really all. I actually kind of hate running. I ran 2 that didn't have medals and I hated those people that didn't provide bling. Bastards.

    I evidently swear so excessively that when I tell my tween daughter not to watch/listen to something because of the language, she says "But I live with you!". Shockingly, this doesn't make me feel better.

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  23. Anonymous11/14/2012

    I actually loved this post! Miscellany is the best.

    Something about me: I have not thrown away a fortune from a fortune cookie in... I don't know how many years. I have a lot of them.

    Melissa

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  24. Things about me?
    1) Seeing the photos of you and your sisters sometimes makes we wish I didn't only have brothers... although, being the baby sister certainly has its perks
    2) I had cheese for breakfast. Only cheese. Okay... maybe a cracker or two as well.
    3) I started my Christmas shopping today. Not because I am organized, but because my husband has already been emailing me links to things he wants. Apparently he doesn't trust me to decide what he wants for Christmas. Based on our history... it may be warranted.

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  25. I love that Ryan and OJ sync playlists. The closest I ever came was sharing earbuds with a friend while we listened to my Walkman (yes the one that played cassettes.

    Something random about me: Bowling for Soup is my favorite band because regardless of my mood their music will make me happy. And I wore my Star Wars skirt to work today.

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  26. Something about myself: I too love books! Three friends and I have started a book club to read Modern Library's Top 100 Novels. We just started so we're on # 99 (meaning, it's the second one we've read) and it is "The Ginger Man" by J.P. Donleavy and it is six kinds of TERRIBLE. So since the protagonist is a beer-swilling Irishman, we are meeting at an Irish pub tonight to "discuss" it. By which I assume we will each state how much we hated it (which seems to be the consensus) and then we will drink ale and eat cheesy fries.

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  27. In response to your post and the comments:

    I remember once as a kid my mother drove me to the babysitter's house and then realized I wasn't wearing pants. I'm pretty sure we both walked away from that situation thinking a little less of the other's capacities.

    My current band obsession is Delta Rae. It started with their music video for Bottom of the River (http://youtu.be/bimam2j2gEg) but I love every song on their album.

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  28. Kaitlin11/14/2012

    I've now decided I need a ski playlist.

    Something random: my mom writes a Christmas card "blurb" updating everyone on our family's activities during the last year. Since she didn't have time last year, I drafted a version for her to edit. I included a joke-- intended only for her-- about my continued leadership role in "Overachievers Anonymous." She didn't delete it and instead sent it to 200 people. Several people asked if that was a real organization.


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  29. I totally failed at attempting to change a tire this weekend. I put the jack under the car and then had to crawl under and wrench myself around to get the stupid thing to work, only to have a guy come rescue the operation and point out the jack should have been on the side. Of course, ratcheting the car up from the side was super easy. Maybe we should have read the car manual first.

    And now I have a giant bruise on my forearm and cant move my shoulders without wincing and generally look like a battered woman.

    On the plus side, the friend I was visiting works for Epic Brewery and I got tons of free beer.

    Becca

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  30. Today I went to make my garbage pile for lunch (a mix-up of eggs, cheese, potatoes, veg... whatever) and I didn't have any spinach, green peppers, or leeks, so I got all sad. Then I put carrots in it, although I was wary of carrots and cheese. But it was AMAZING.

    So my day pretty much rocked.

    Oh, our old house (a barn conversion in Yorkshire, England) had a giant window (what was formerly the barn door) and we were on a major commuting road that went to where I worked. When I would dart past it in the nekkie because I needed something on the other side of the house or whatever (or because sometimes I'm too lazy to properly tie my houserobe or put on pants under my regular t-shirt first thing in the morning), my husband would just say that he hoped the cars that passed were people I knew. Such love.

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    Replies
    1. Also thanks to Revenge on Hulu I've just discovered Gin Wigmore, and I've been blasting her. Think Amy Winehouse - f*#&ed upness + Duffy. Great fun to dance around the house to in front of the dogs.

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  31. Haha I love your blog posts! so funny :)
    I have at home slippers and going out slippers but i sometimes just wear the at home ones out too.

    I totally get the urge to wave in compromising situations. I was getting out of the shower once and I glanced out the window to see I was in the direct eyeline of a bunch of men working on my neighbour's roof. I did a pretty cool duck and cover thing out the door into the other room only to realise that THAT window was also open, and they could still see me. Crawling out of your own bathroom in a towel is not fun haha.

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  32. I absolutely needed some cute happiness today, thank you for including that video of the toddler dancing, I'd never seen it before!

    And usually when I do something like wear slippers to the store is when I'll see someone I haven't seen in a long time and I'm dressed like a hobo.

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  33. YES THE FLAG ON THE PLAY! Amazing. :) Love it.

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  34. I have been following this dog, 50, on facebook. And THEN, the day after my wedding(this Monday) in Savannah, GA, Brian and I were sitting at lunch at J. Christopher's having eggs benedict and a black bean quesadilla(well, I was having both because I no longer had a dress to fit into, ha!) when who should walk up?? 50!! So, of course I got a picture! I will be posting this pic on my blog because I can't figure out how to get it into this comment, but I just thought it was the most wonderfully serendipitous thing! And then I fed 50 my hashbrowns and gave him kisses!

    I love the Christmas socks and slippers. I, too, go to the store all the time, and I usually just show up at like 10:00am when no one else is there, and I am rocking my ripped-to-shreds shorts from high school and my "peanut butter jelly time" T-shirt. I know, fashion icon.

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  35. Also, your post was awesome! It was so funny! You have a great sense of humor, so I'm pretty sure none of them could be "the worst." I do the same thing with the bathroom and the neighbors...our bedroom window looks into the next condo over, and our bathroom is a straight shot through that window, and apparently I forget this on the daily. Brian thinks I am a closet exhibitionist.

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  36. I seriously love your blog. I agree this was a good laugh after the long day I had.

    1. I still all (but one that my mother made me give away to the little neighbor girl, sorry Italian kid) of my Cabbage Patch Kids. They were the only dolls that I really liked so mom fed my habit. And when they released the big kids that were only available at Toys R Us I got one to represent all of my current family members.

    2. I'm my nieces' Disney hook up and send them every Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks movie that comes out so they'll be there when I visit them.

    3. I randomly bake things as well. My mother and I loved the Gingersnap Cupcakes I made last week and I'll be making more of those and probably some Lemon ones too cause I love Lemon.

    4. I got obsessed with the limited edition Oreos and had to get the Lemon Twist and Gingerbread ones too--ginger is much better.

    5. I have a few tattoos and need to get two more to complete the set but I may have two reworked.

    6. I already told you about my book reading issues lol so I'll share the last tidbit. During my doctoral program I stalked Prince for a while and got to talk to him during a sound check which so disoriented me I forgot what he said for about 6 hours. And most people didn't care they wanted to know what he smelled like.

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  37. Anonymous11/14/2012

    i used to run a sex club.

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  38. I would love a Christmas card, so I'm sending you my address. I would like to send one to you too...
    Stacy

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  39. Anonymous11/14/2012

    I am so hoping that my email requesting a Christmas card is what led you to Afternoon Delight. That is all. -Sarah

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  40. I love the playlist you made them. They have such a bromance.
    Also, I wanted to let you know that reading your blog makes me laugh and smile so much. That being said, even your "worst post ever" was hilarious. Take care

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  41. Anonymous11/14/2012

    I once got into a fist fight over a "Baby Tender Love" doll.

    Lori

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  42. I sometimes walk around in my hubby's size 13 slippers or flip flops and I once wore them out of the house on the way to work. Narrowly adverted that one. I also once punched a girl in the face over Holly Hobby. It's rough over here.

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  43. I don't care what Ryan says, fancy shaped macaroni is the best. Btw, not huge fan of American cheese but a lover of cheese in general, I usually add a slice of American to boxed mac 'n cheese and it's good stuff :)

    I also left home the other day in my slippers (cheetah print, fur edging, hard sole - yikes!) but realized it while still near enough home to go back and change thankfully, though my dd tried to convince me to not to change (surprisingly, lol). I have found myself in a store accidentally in furry-ish plushly purple slippers though.

    About me? I grew up in Downers Grove, near your neck of the woods :) Currently residing in a small county town in NW IL.

    I don't post too often but am a big fan of your blog! :)



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  44. Mary P.11/14/2012

    Thank you for making me laugh with the idea of you throwing flags at RYAN. I needed the laugh, really. Anything I can think of to say about me today is depressing, so I will refrain and simply say I'm excited about the card and would get flags for myself, but my dog would eat them.

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  45. Something about me? I just spent 2 hours watching videos of wedding dances because of that link!!! Darn you and your time wasting links, darn you to heck! lol

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  46. If it helps, your slippers and socks are ridiculously cool looking! So that's got to count for something in place of the lack of practicality of wearing glorified socks outside of the house.

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  47. I live in the boonies and have cows for neighbors. So, I regularly walk out onto our deck in the summer mornings in only a tank top and panties. We do live off of a major (in country terms) commuter road and my husband swears I am going to cause an accident some day when I blind a commuter with my ghost white skin. I hope the cows appreciate the show.
    Thank you for your daily dose of hilarious. I look forward to your posts.

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  48. Anonymous11/15/2012

    Very early one Sunday morning I was walking my new rescue dog around my back yard in my night wear, which frankly would have benefited greatly had I decided not just to sleep in the top. I was walking around saying "Go Pee" in my very best "Pack Master" voice when I noticed the unmistakable sound of police radios. I peeked around the corner of my house, and saw that there were two police cars blocking the street, and six officers putting on Kevlar vests and getting a battering ram and assault rifles out of the trunks. At that point I realized it was not a "barking dog" visit, that I really no longer cared where or if the dog peed, and returned to my home via the back door. So far so good. I then realized that I still needed to get past the big double window in front of my house. I tip-toed up to the side of the window, grabbed the blind and pulled. The whole blind came off in my hand, I dropped to the floor and crawled to my bedroom where the new dog and I spent the rest of the day in bed. I never found out what was going on, but there was a sudden uptake in police cars driving past my house. I figure either I live near criminal (very possible) or news of just how darn cute my new dog was had gotten around.

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  49. Anonymous11/15/2012

    I went to the store with my husbands slippers on... They are 5 sizes too big, how did I not notice?

    Kelly D

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  50. I sent you my address! Send me one and I'll send you one!
    Hmm...I blend up veggies and sneak them into the kids' spaghetti sauce. I also steal the hubs' socks to warm my feet and then pretend I don't know where his socks are.

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  51. Afternoon Delight is my ringtone for when my hubby calls me. Makes me giggle EVERY time.
    Also there is a book, and I can't think of the name of it right now, but each chapter starts with a quote from an Avett Brothers song. It was a good book.

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  52. I had a crazy Christmas dream the other night. And you were in it. AND I was going to just pm you on facebook to tell you all about it, but thought that was weird....so of course telling you AND THE WORLD on your blog is far less weird....
    You're awesome and I'd LOVE a card, but I am far far away and stamps are expensive!!
    Lots of love xx

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  53. Haha, I love the fact that when I got to the part where you said you don't know what to blog about, I had already laughed out loud several times about what u wrote! (I am meant to be studying loads of boring shit for my marketing qualification so boyfriend now thinks I'm a complete weirdo that thinks PESTEL and SWOT is highly amusing...) Been on the look out for some funny easy to read blogs and damn u just took the spot! Genious! Now I have to read through your history of posts and won't get anything done. When I fail my next exam, I know who to blame!

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  54. I don't think you have any idea how much you are able to brighten up somebody's day. I deliberately take my kids to school, pick them up from a friends house, and take them to the movies with my fuzzy slippers on. My 4 kids (pre-school, elementary, middle, AND high school)think I am the most embarrassing mom in the world. I assure them I am not.

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  55. I love chocolate and I too go to the grocery store in slippers. Sometimes I'm not even wearing a bra. That is all.

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  56. I went to the store today in slippers and no bra...and I should never not be wearing a bra. I just ran out of the house so fast this morning that I forgot to put it on. I feel your pain.

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  57. I love, love your blog! I read it at night when I have terrible insomnia. Your picture of you and your siblings reminds me of all our family trips to Disneyland when we were kids. My mom dressed us all in the same outfit just different colors so if one of us were to get lost, she could say they were wearing this but in green..or whatever color. My sister and I dressed the same years later as adults and went to Disneyland. No one really laughed but we thought we were hilarious!

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  58. I often go to the gym in my slippers. People look at me like I am crazy. BUT. When I go to kickboxing in my slippers (the class is no-shoes), everyone understands. This is part of the reason that I love kickboxing. My husband thinks it's because I get to take out my blood-rage on a punching bag. Personally, it may be that but it's also because the world gets to see my fuzzy slippers shaped like Tribbles.

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  59. Lisa in Seattle11/16/2012

    Are you going to write up meeting John and Sherry? Please please please? They're not coming to the PNW until late January, so I'm living vicariously through you guys for now.

    A random thing: I have no sense of direction at all. Have been working in this building for 10 years and I still get lost all the time. Have to navigate by art (we have an extensive art collection) - turn right at the little painting of the farmyard, go past the thing that looks like somebody emptied out a 3-hole-punch onto a canvas, second office down. One day they moved a bunch of art around and I couldn't find Treasury for a week.

    Smear a little yellow mustard (French's, I'm old skool like that) on your grilled cheese sammich. Most delicious option ever. Don't try to persuade me otherwise - I'm prepared to die on this hill.

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  60. I hear you on the flashing... In an old apartment, I used to walk around my bedroom topless after my shower for a few minutes. I thought because of the height and position of the apartment that no one could see in. I was proven wrong...

    Also, I second the mustard on grilled cheese comment from Lisa above, yummy!

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  61. Something about myself: It's a good thing I live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors close enough to see in the windows that have no window treatments because I don't close doors and like being naked. It's not pretty, I'm happy to not impose my nakedidity on anyone. And yes, it took me several seconds to spell my newly made word.

    Also, I just found you and love you. And having just given up sugar and gluten YESTERDAY, now I want a grilled cheese. Crap.

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  62. Um, I don't know why I'm here.

    I think the Bloggess sent me.

    You want to know something about me? I'll TELL you something about me.

    I was born in Lansing to German parents and am currently residing with a Spanish family in Madrid. Oh, and I should also be asleep. Thanks a whole bunch for keeping me awake with your question.

    *incoherent teenage rant*

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  63. The independent body parts and penalty flags cracked me up.

    I do a lot of mountain biking, and I usually wear knee-high, very bright socks with my bike shorts. Bc bike shoes aren't super comfortable if you're not actually riding your bike, I've taken to wearing my slipper booties as shoes on the way to wherever we're meeting. I've gotten a lot of strange looks in gas stations.

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  64. Anonymous4/04/2013

    It used to be that the Philippines' biggest competitive advantage in the global job market is the proficiency of our skilled workers in the English language. Grammar and vocabulary quizzes generally consist of a sentence with a missing word. ESL students may need to take the TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language), to show colleges that they have the English skills they need to keep up with their professors.

    my site ... phuong phap hoc tieng anh

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