Attempting to Post Today: Take Two

Hey Blogstalkers.

So a little bit earlier today I tried to post something funny.  But it did not work out.  My brain has felt sort of broken this week so I've really been struggling to come up with content.  I know it's just because I adjusted my anxiety medications very recently, which almost always results in a reoccurrence of my night terrors and in my head turning into a balloon - filled with nothing but air.  But it still can be frustrating when I feel an obligation to provide you all, my most beloved readers, with something entertaining or ridiculous.

Sidenote: I'm not feeling depressed or overly anxious or anything, just trying something new.

Blogging is a weird animal.  I like to think it takes a sort of confidence (or in my case, close to zero shame) to just throw your life onto the internet for the world to see.  It is so supremely personal.  It can require a thick skin.  Something that I am still very much working on achieving.

The highs in blogging are intense and insane and gratifying and stupefying and make every second of the lows worth it.  (Seriously you all make my hours and days and weeks and LIFE.) But that is sometimes hard to remember when someone leaves a nasty comment or I personally start shaming myself for being not unique enough or not likeable enough or not creative enough.

I know that as this is a personal blog, I don't technically owe anyone a certain number of posts or a certain quality of posts.  But then again, rationally, I totally do.  I have advertisers.  This is my job right now.  And you guys deserve the very very best I can give you.  And the post I took down today, wow, just dreadful.  I don't want to get in the habit of posting filler, so I'm happy with my decision to take it down.

My brain will regulate itself soon and it's likely, as my sister is making me going ice skating for her birthday this weekend, that I will have some sort of ridiculous story for you on Monday.  Or at least a picture of me in a cast of some sort.

Until then, forgive my tiny little hiatus?

To lighten the mood just a tiny little bit, here is a fact about Ryan: He is like excellent at ice skating.  And not like hockey skating, I'm talking like figure skating.  The last time we went (with his fraternity in college) he literally skated circles around me.  All of the other couples were holding hands and sharing hot chocolate and I was just floundering about alone while Ryan practiced his arabesques and made remarks like "with a little practice I think I'd be excellent at double axels, but right now I can only do a single."  I swear he's straight.

Lots of ideas for next week!

35 comments:

  1. I hear you Miss Lauren.
    The highs are incredible, it's like finding that non fat chocolate bar filled with cheese and given to you by Matt Bomer. That find of awesome.
    Then you instantly crash back down to 'Oh, god. What do I write about now?'

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  2. H Gingras11/16/2012

    There will always be people talking smack. Just remember that most of the time, it means that they are jealous of you. Also remember how many people absolutely love you and wait patiently for your next post- because frankly, they are worth the wait!

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  3. Blogging, as you've described it, sounds a lot like grad school. I am in the process of applying to PhD programs, and the whole process makes me feel so vulnerable and I'm trying to have a thick skin but deep down I'm very sensitive and sometimes I can't keep things in perspective. I think you are so very brave for putting your life on the interwebs for other people to enjoy. And for those that spend the time reading it, don't enjoy it, and then spend the time writing something negative, might I suggest knitting. Or some kind of wood working project. Hobbies are good to have so one does not spend one's time being an asshat.

    I tried to write a funny blog once, but it went (very quickly) to hell in a hand cart because it turns out I am much more funny in real life than I am on paper. Or a computer. But you, my dear (pretend) friend Lauren, are funny on a computer (and in real life, I suspect). And when you aren't as funny, you are super relatable and that's important, too. You do a good thing for the loyal readers of your blog, and all those other people can kick rocks. (That's not what I really think, but I'm keeping this post family friendly.)

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  4. Anonymous11/16/2012

    You are awesome and funnier than you think. Nic xx

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  5. Dear Lauren

    I want to see pictures of Ryan ice-skating, possibly with OJ!

    Lindsay

    P.S. Also, you are awesome and funny.

    P.P.S. But seriously, pictures.

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  6. A lot of people just don't GET what it's like to live with mental illness. It's not necessarily their fault, but it's not your fault you've got shitty brain chemistry either. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I'm going to say it. I have no choice... Haters gon' hate. Yo. (Tragically hip, that's me.)

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  7. We are always our own worst critics. You are amazing Lauren. So funny, and it's easy as a reader to tell that it comes from the heart. Cut yourself some slack, and take as much time as you need!

    I swore up and down I wouldn't post this week because I am supposed to be relaxing after the wedding. I posted like three times this morning. Posts about not posting. Talk about needing to get myself together. :/ So, don't feel bad. Put on some Christmas socks, eat some cheese, and take a load off. We'll all be here when you get back. :)

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  8. I love your blog! It doesn't matter if you are being funny or being serious. You are genuinely an interesting person. :)

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  9. I completely understand and admire where you're coming from. I have a photography blog and while it's mostly about the pictures, I definitely like to write a little something that reflects my personality and it's HARD. I'm always worried about offending a potential client so I feel like I need to not be too me. Then I remind myself that you put yourself out there and your fans adore you for it! It definitely pushes me to blog better.

    Also, if you don't already read the web comic the Oatmeal, he posted a comic this week about the difficulties of developing web content and the love/hate relationship with reading comments and it's pretty spot on. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/making_things

    Thank you for sharing your life with the rest of us :)

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  10. does ryan ever ready your blog? I feel like he'd really love to see these sorts of little tid bits about him shared with the rest of the world. :)

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    1. Also, keep on keepin' on lady. come back to us when you're ready.

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  11. Please don't ever feel like you owe us, your readers, anything. We are happy and excited to read anything you have to offer, and even though you're a million miles away on the other side of the Internet, we care that you are happy and healthy, not that there's a post for us to read every day xx

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  12. I saw your earlier post and it was perfectly fine. Did someone get ugly with you? Do you want I should go rough someone up? No one is allowed to treat my secret girlfriend badly. I won't stand for it!

    Take care and have a fantastic weekend.

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  13. Maybe Ryan's holiday costume can be a figure skating outfit! Lots of spandex and some serious sequin abuse!

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  14. i am a little sad i missed the earlier post, because i am a staulker and would want to read anything you post, even if it wasn't particularly good, which i am sure isn't the case.

    i am torn between being jealous that your husband does amazing things, like ice skate, and grateful that my husband does none of them and therefore i don't have to subject myself to the terror of ice skating. also it's humiliating since i'm named after an olympic gold medalist ice skater.

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  15. Your blogs make me so happy :) But then I realize that maybe the result of all of us talking about how much we love your blog and how funny you are may have the opposite impact and instead, make you feel that you have to blog. Sort of a "they like the blog, it makes them happy, if I don't post then I am letting them down" kind of thing. I say all that b/c my husband used to blog (he is a great writer and very funny) but he had to stop b/c if he went longer than normal posting in his blog his friends would be all like "when are you going to post?" and that pressured him, which made him unable to think of anything funy, so he couldn't blog. And they weren't pressuring him, they just liked to read his posts. Does all of that make sense?

    Either way, just be you and post when you feel like it. We'll always be here for you.

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  16. Taking care of yourself always comes first. Don't worry too much about the blog; it'll be here when you're feeling up to it. <3

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  17. I think you are brilliant and hilarious. Your blog inspires me to be a better writer. So thank you. Have fun ice skating!

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  18. lauren you arecharming funny relatable and real i hope nasty comments wont deter you from posting. jealousy makes people stupid. i appreciate the posts where you keep it real and talk about daily struggles as much as i do your scathingly funny ones. do you love my no caps comment? very e.e. cummings of me. too lazy to hit shift on the keyboard because some days that feels like too much work

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  19. I appreciate your honesty and your ability to just put out there what you want. Don't let anyone take that from you. Being comfy in our own weird quirky skin is a blessing and makes for good jokes for later.

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  20. I have only been stalking you for a couple of months but I can honestly say that there hasn't been one single post that hasn't had me smirking out loud (at the very least). You make people happy. Be proud of it!

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  21. I do love a good Christmas card. I'm in!

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  22. ...aaaaand, I just posted a comment on the wrong post. Emailing you the info anyhow. :)

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  23. Anonymous11/17/2012

    OMG, are there seriously people who post negative comments? Shame on them. Your posts are funny, honest and I look forward to them whenever they come. Don't feel the need to blog "just because." We are all here for you!

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  24. Darlin' lady, you do not owe me or anyone else anything. We're here because we like what you say, how you say it, and the gleeful absurdity of your shopping footwear. One of the best things about your blog is that I do hear from the real you, and see the ups and downs that come with life. I personally relate so much more to your writing because of that. I also relate to silly work/life stories, because last week I had to explain to my whole (and concerned) department that I wasn't getting sick, but had screamed so many expletives at the football game that I lost my voice. Which took a week to come back.

    Please don't be hard on yourself, for you are awesome and your awesome shall spread across the land.

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  25. Most of the comments above said exactly what I wanted to say, so I'm just going to give you a summary:
    (1) you're awesome
    (2) you're not obligated to write anything for us, but we'll love whatever you post!
    (3) mean people are bad. You can always hire us to "take care" of them for you.

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  26. At least you aren't writing a blog for your dog.
    I sort of wish that I wasn't.
    But you know. He's got to be funny too!

    Props to you for making people laugh, and the internet is mean. Silly Internet probably just needs a hug.

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  27. Veronica11/19/2012

    Lauren- you are extremely talented and you succeed in making my work day significantly lighter every time you post (they realized you are not in fact PORN, and you are UNBLOCKED- thank GOD.) Anyone posting negative things, they have no idea what they are talking about, and you should pay them ZERO mind. Some people just like to make others feel badly, but they're just sad small people.

    You rock- don't forget it!

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  28. Anonymous11/19/2012

    Hi Lauren - I am a relatively new blogstalker who found you completely by accident while Googling wedding related things...and I am so glad that you decided to put your wonderfully wacky thoughts onto the Internets and allow us weird stalkers to read them! Don't listen to the negative or mean comments, some people are just dumb...and don't listen to your own inner jerk either, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

    Also, I have night terrors too! It's so crazy! Apparently I had them pretty frequently when I was a kid but never had any problems (that I know of) with them until my boyfriend and I moved across the country 4 years ago. I'm pretty sure it was the stress of the move that made them come back. Usually once or twice a week I wake him by sitting straight up in bed and either screaming or crying or digging my nails into his leg and talking about how there is someone standing in our bedroom or that spiders are crawling on me...sometimes he can get me settled just by telling me that it's fine and there is nothing there, but other times he has to actually wake me up to get me to calm down. I've been avoiding going to the Dr. but I think we're to the point that it's disrupting both of us too much to ignore any longer...night terrors are no fun for anyone!

    Stephanie

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    1. Hi Stephanie! I'm so glad you stumbled across my little corner of the internet. I always love to hear how people got here.

      As far as the night terrors go YES! I totally get you. I get them whenever I adjust my anxiety meds and they are the worst! My husband has to wake me up because I wake him up screaming. Well not really screaming, in my night terror I'm screaming but it seems in real life it's just a creepy loud moan of some sort. The someone standing in my bedroom ones are the absolute worst for me. Ugh.

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    2. Anonymous11/19/2012

      I agree, those are definitely the worst for me too! I hope yours go away soon! I've never met anyone (besides my sister) who has them, it's good to know I'm not alone :)

      Stephanie

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  29. So my husband's favorite TV show is "90210". His favorite actor is Patrick Swayze. His favorite band is Poison, which includes posters of the band members being all seductive. I swear he's straight too.

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  30. yep, all the other comments pretty much summed it up, you are one of those naturally funny people and if any internet trolls tries to tell you otherwise - screw them!




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  31. I stumbled upon your blog today and immediately connected with this post. As an itty-bitty beginning blogger, I'm coming to grips with the challenge of producing good content, even when my brain feels like it hopped a plane and fled to Bolivia. Still, it's rewarding to look back a few months in and see how much I've posted, even on days when I really didn't want to.
    And thick skin — oh, yes. Definitely not my strong point, either. I'm trying to toughen myself up by punching myself in the face 10 times every morning. The results so far have been mixed.
    Keep it up; this is good stuff.
    -The Existential Grammarian

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  32. Anonymous5/01/2013

    I took my husband skating for the first time last fall and he was skating backwards before we left. I'm starting to doubt his straight-ness...lol

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