Agenda For The Rest Of The Day: Watch Nora Ephron Movies And Feel Bad About My Neck

It is a fantastic Thursday around here Blogstalkers.

Why you ask?  Because of drugs.  Loooottttssss of drugs.  I should explain.

I have a terrible neck that decides from time to time (about twice a year) to stop working.  The first time it happened I actually was in physical therapy for six weeks before I regained a full range of motion.  Since then I do daily neck stretches to prevent it from ever getting quite that bad again.  Very early yesterday morning I woke up to a familiar twinge in my neck.  I know from experience that the pain only tends to get worse throughout the first day so I quickly got up and took a muscle relaxer that my doctor prescribed the last time this happened.

Then I got a bit loopy.  Then I remembered that I had forgotten to rehide Zooey Deschanelf (our mischievous Elf on the Shelf) the night before so I quickly did that and climbed back into bed beside Ryan.

About an hour later Ryan got up and got ready for work and eventually asked "Are you going to drive me to work today?"  And I was like "Ahhh I can't today.  Something has gone seriously awry.  I've been neck poisoned!  Call the bobbies!"  So he was like "Oh your neck is bad again? I'm sorry, that sucks, I'll take the train." And I was like, "Oh darling, you needn't do that.  Like the marvelous wife that I am, I have arranged another ride, they should be waiting outside."  And he was all "Huh?" Then he gave me a quizzical look and headed outside from whence I heard "Dammit!" because he knew he had been bamboozled.



And in case you are thinking "But Lauren, Zooey Deschanelf is much too tiny to steer and work the pedals!"  I assure you I considered that.



Well done Tiny Danza, well done you perfect miniature horse specimen.

That's all for today.  Tomorrow is the last Friday of the month which means it is Blogstalker Bookclub day.  Has anyone read The Casual Vacancy in preparation?

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go lie on the couch and wait for Ryan to get home and drive me to the doctor's office where I assume, as per usual, they will give me a new prescription and stab me in the butt with a needle.

50 comments:

  1. I haven't separated the hands on my elf yet, so mine would seriously struggle steering a car.

    And I'm sorry about the needle in the tush. I hate that. You would think it wouldn't hurt so bad, because I have so much fluff back there, but it hurts the most.

    Hope you feel better soon!

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    1. Thanks Danielle!

      I actually haven't separated the hand of my elf either. I did not know you were supposed to do that...huh...I am not very smart.

      And yes, the butt shots - not pleasant - but worth it, totally totally worth it.

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    2. I don't know if your supposed to separate them or not...I'm just thinking to get mine into certain poses, I may have to cut that part.

      If I wasn't so lazy, I would sew velcro there, so I could have options. But someone has to wear a dead spot into this couch and my husband works too much.

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  2. Corrine11/29/2012

    Hope you get fixed up quick!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! If the past is any indication I shall be dancing about in three days max. As far as injuries go, this one really isn't that bad at all.

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  3. Sorry about your neck pain! :( I pulled a muscle in my back once, and it was terrible. Then I was trying to study for law school finals and took a muscle relaxer (my first ever). I woke up later on the couch with absolutely no idea what had happened in the previous five hours.

    Also, I have definitely read The Casual Vacancy!

    Also, I am imagining some passer-by watching you take pictures of Zooey Deschanelf and Tiny Danza in your car and it makes me laugh.

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    Replies
    1. So it was really really early in the morning when I took the pictures so I don't *think* anyone saw me but I could be mistaken. Our neighbors' back patios all face directly onto the front of our home.

      And yes, muscle relaxers can be insane. That is why I did not drive Ryan to work today and also why I am not driving myself to the doctor.

      And don't worry about my neck pain, as far as injuries go, it's not that bad.

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  4. Nothing says 'teamwork' like an elf at the wheel and a tiny horse at the pedals. Horseshoe metal to the pedal to the metal!

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    1. I like to imagine that they are a sort of Pinky & The Brain team. I have not decided yet which is which.

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    2. Anonymous11/29/2012

      What are we going to do today Zooey Daschanelf? Same thing we try to do every day Tiny Danza- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

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    3. Haha I guess that makes Zooey Deschanelf the brains of the operation!

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  5. Kaitlin11/29/2012

    I will avidly follow all of Zooey Deschanelf's adventures this holiday season. You should consider a photo book. Or a calendar for elfin mischief all year round.

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    1. Oooh a calendar would be a way to keep the Christmas cheer going all year round. I would have to keep it on my desk so Ryan didn't have to look at it, but it would still be awesome.

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  6. Bwahahahhaa! I did NOT see Tiny Danza coming. That was awesome. I love that he's in on this too. You're creating a tiny army of minions. Delightful!

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    1. I know! I love my tiny minions.

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    2. Tiny Danza on the gas pedal made me spit out my coffee. Seriously.
      Feel better!!

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  7. I'm sorry about your neck pain. :( Loved the elf and horse in the car, so funny!

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    1. Thanks Tracy! It made me giggle entirely too hard. That could have been the drugs though.

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  8. Those elves creep me out. I mean, I know they're supposed to look a little creepy, but why oh why can't they be the cute version of elves. Or maybe look like David Beckham in an elf hat... Yeah, that would be so much better and then I wouldn't mind that sassy little minx stalking me all over the house!

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    1. You know I agree that they are creepy, but I sort of enjoy it. Then when I make them get up to all sorts of mischief it just seems fitting and not sad that I'm forcing a sweet innocent elf to do bad bad things.

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  9. I finally got the reference in one of your titles! I am apparently completely oblivious to anything having to do with pop culture (case in point: for the post you did about buying the rear end of the pony for The Bloggess, I truly had never heard of ”Call Me Maybe”, but it was such an odd title I knew it had to refer to something, so I Googled part of it and eventually figured it out.) But, I have read a couple of Nora Ephron's books, including ”I Feel Bad About My Neck” so I finally got one! Hope your neck feels better soon.

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    1. So glad you got it! I was hoping people would and not just think "There goes Lauren with her nonsense titles again..."

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  10. Veronica11/29/2012

    Ahaha I love it. Sorry about your neck!

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    1. Thanks! And no worries about my neck, I'll be just fine!

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  11. is drinking and doing pain pills still frowned upon?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Last time I checked it was indeed. You know, all that stuff about "intensifying the effect." Which doesn't ever usually make a difference to me since I just pass out completely for like six hours after taking a pain pill.

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  12. Totally cracked me up! I love Tiny Danza!

    Do you ever get shots in your neck? I have a bum neck (body actually) too and I get shots in my neck. And back. It hurts but then it is awesome and I can climb Everest. Ok, not really but I can look behind me when I drive and need to change lanes.
    Also- I bite my muscle relaxers in half (I'm hard core) so I can not get knocked on my ass. Helps with the pain and staying conscious.

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    1. I used to take like a third of a pill when I had to work through the pain but they still made me woozy and so sometimes I did ridiculous things at work.

      I've been offered a shot in the neck and have considered it but then I always chicken out. The butt shot helps A LOT and my neck only usually hurts for a couple of days so I just deal with it. I should probably stop being such a baby. But a shot in the neck scares the ever-loving crap out of me.

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  13. Sorry to hear about your neck, but I totally love the elf/pony driving combo - totally cracked me up! I've been putting off buying an elf since we don't have kids yet, but I think it's time to jump on that bandwagon!!

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    1. Yes! Last year I was like "I can't wait until I have kids so I can mess with them using that creepy little elf," and this year I was like "Why did I ever think I had to wait for kids? I have a HUSBAND to mess with right now!" I totally suggest it. Is hilarious.

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  14. You are sooo funny. Hope your neck feels better

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  15. I had a good laugh at Tiny Danza handling the pedals! I'm going to have to get an elf to mess with my family!
    I'm sorry about your neck! I too have a reoccurring pain, mine is on my right hip/thigh/leg area. Nothing like a reoccurring pain that gets worse when it's cold to make me feel like an old grandma, sigh, at least the drugs help!

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    1. Oh yes I can not recommend getting an elf enough! I luurrve mine.

      And reoccurring pains are the worst. I feel for you lady.

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  16. I am currently on muscle relaxers too! For my foot! ALL the time, well, about 2 weeks. Im wishing I had an Elf to make do silly things when my pill makes me loopy! I hope you feel better! on a side note you should take daily pictures of the antics your Elf gets into!! We would all love to see them!!

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  17. I love it. I also keep child-like things around the house to mess with, and to entertain myself with while Brian is off being a grown-up. One of my favorites is Luther Vandrowl, our stuffed animal owl from Pier 1. I put him around the house in various spots, like on top of the washer, or on the side arm of the sofa, where I know Brian will be.

    I hope your neck feels better! I make oreo ice-cream cake to make myself feel better in situations like those.

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  18. I thought those Elf on the Shelf things were only for people who have kids but you have definitely changed my mind on the matter. One of those creepy bastards is going to start having adventures all over my husband now.

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  19. That's awesome! I thought the elves were kind of creepy but I could definitely use one to drive my husband crazy over the holidays especially since he keeps saying he's cancelling christmas.

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  20. Anonymous11/29/2012

    A few weeks ago I was sitting at my desk at work and totally threw out my neck. I nearly passed out, too -- I guess my brain momentarily stopped receiving blood. Quite an accomplishment while sitting in a chair doing nothing. (err, I mean, working really hard) The doctor gave me a shot in my butt, too, which was a horrible moment of realization for me at the time, but it worked marvelously. And she also prescribed all kinds of drugs that I never took, because either A) the shot was so good that I was cured, or B) I wasn't really hurt in the first place and was being a big baby. Not sure which. She also recommended physical therapy because this isn't my first time injuring my neck without doing anything. So I empathize, that's the point of this ramble.

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  21. Anonymous11/29/2012

    p.s. I think the Bloggess stole your creepy elf idea.

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  22. I love the elf-pony teamwork! I find those elves pretty creepy too, but that make them even more perfect for annoying a husband!

    I have read Casual Vacancy and am looking forward to the discussion!

    Hope your neck feels better soon! (wow that's a lot of exclamation points...)

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  23. you seriously make me laugh constantly.
    I feel your pain, well sorta, on the neck thing. Mines a leg thing, and I'm on week 4 of physical therapy.While it kinda sucks, the doctors are least dreamy to look at!

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  24. Oh my god that is hilarious. Well not the neck pain, well that is only slightly because of the drugs but the elf and the horse woosah that was funny. I've only had a neck pain that bad once and I was hunched over like the hunchback before I finally went into the chiropractor. He was amazing and I felt much better but I'm kind of jealous of the drugs. He wouldn't give me any. Ahh well he probably knew I'd be the happiest therapist ever which isn't always good for clients. Totally rambled there but I hope you're feeling better.

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  25. If it helps, I think I am getting sick. A week before finals. Don't you miss school?

    And, on an unrelated subject, I think it is awesome that Ryan can take a TRAIN to work. I love trains.

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  26. INSTAGRAM! #zooeydeschanelf

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  27. I tried to read the Casual Vacancy and I just.... didn't like it :( And I love Harry Potter to ridiculous-I-have-a-Deathly-Hallows-tattoo amounts.

    Hope your neck feels better, that does not sound good!

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  28. Reading your blog for the first time--love it. Ponies and elves: finally working together. I'm happy to see it!

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  29. I saw your Facebook post first and was like "Oh dear, what has she done to herself this time?" Is this a pain from another injury? Enjoy the drugs and hope you feel better soon.
    P.S. Tiny Danza on the gas pedal made me laugh so hard my husband gave me that "you are so crazy, what have I done marrying you" look that I'm sure you are familiar with.

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