Hip Hip Hop Hip Hop Anonymous

Happy Friday Blogstalkers!

I hope you all have wonderful things planned for your weekend.  Ryan and I have a very busy Saturday so tonight we made plans to stay in, work on our Halloween jigsaw puzzle, make homemade sausage pizza and watch Friday Night Lights.  And then we realized that we are getting old.  So we decided we will do all of that but we will also drink mojitos because mojitos make everyone hip.  And if that doesn't work then we will just give in and admit that we are a little bit square.  And then we will be hip because of how it is hip to be square.

So here is something you did not know about me before today: I read the dictionary.  I read it a lot.  I like finding new words.  I like improving my vocabulary.  Also I'm on a bit of a mission to be more awesome than Shakespeare who supposedly had a vocabulary of over 29,000 words whereas the average English-speaker uses only about 4,000 regularly.  Although honestly Shakespeare, you're not fooling me.  I know you made up 1700 of those words.  And while I thank you for such words as 'madcap' and 'hobnob' and 'lackluster' and 'puking' I really don't think words one has invented themselves should be counted.  Especially when most of them are just two words that already existed smushed together.  Oh you disagree?  Fine.  Here is a small sampling of words I have just made up.

cowpimp
nipplenugget
buttdangle
monkeydonkey
mayonnaiserecliner

And with that, I raise my vocabulary to 4,005.  

But anyway, I thought I would use today to make a list of words that I believe are underutilized.  

1. Absquatulate - To run away, usually involves taking something or somebody along.  As in "I begged Justin Timberlake to absquatulate with me and he definitely considered it but then instead married whats-her-face probably only because he is honorable and no other reason."

2. Footle - Act foolishly, as by talking nonsense.  As in "Shakespeare was a nothing but a footling, vocabulary-exaggerating buttdangle."

3. Ort - A scrap or morsel of food left at a meal.  As in my personal cheese motto "No ort left behind."

4. Skirr - Move or fly rapidly.  As in "Ryan you are not a gangsta and that is not the correct use of the word skirred."  

5. Babag - Argument or fight.  As in "The first rule of Babag Club is you do not talk about Babag club."  or "Ryan and I often have baby babags."

6. Pronk - A weak or foolish person.  As in "Before I do anything, I ask myself 'would a pronk do that?' and if the answer is yes, then I do not do that thing."

7. Deosculate - To kiss affectionately.  As in "For some reason Ryan always runs from me when I tell him I am going to deosculate him.  He clearly does not know what the word means."

8. Mangold - Mangel-wurzel, obviously.

9. Fard - To put on makeup.  As in "I'll be ready in a minute, I'm in the bathroom farding my face."

10. Calypgian - Having a shapely buttocks.  As in "Ryan does this dress make me look calypgian?  Well? Does it? No this is not a trick question."

So that's all for today blogstalkers.  I'll post the giveaway winner (and the rap from the last post) on Monday since I have about a thousand comments and tweets and things to weed through to figure out exactly how many entries there were. 

What other words should have made this list? 

Oh and also, can someone please tell Ryan that it is totally normal to put a slice of cheddar cheese on top of a slice of apple pie and then microwave it until the cheese melts.  He says this is something only a pronk would do, but I can't believe that's true.

61 comments:

  1. I'm told some people do indeed eat cheddar cheese with their apple pie. Not eating apple pie myself, I couldn't comment on the strangeness of doing it.

    ALTHOUGH I do put cheddar cheese and a marshmallow on a saltine and stick it in the microwave. Those are AWESOME.

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    1. Huh, never heard of this marshmallow/cheese thing. Mayhaps I should try it.

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    2. It is so yummy! My whole family's crazy about them.

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  2. buttdangle. my friday is made. Tell Ryan next year he better not plan his party on th esame day as mine.

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    1. Oh I will let him know.

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  3. Pretzelogic in Philly, PA10/19/2012

    Lauren - I may not know ort, but I know what I like!

    And, though I don't know if the cheese-on-pie business is "normal" (whatever THAT is), it does sound yummy - I think I'll have to try that sometime. Thanks for the suggestion.

    P.S. - People tell me that the combination that I enjoy of sliced bananas, sour cream and sugar in a bowl is weird, but it seems perfectly "normal" to me. (AND delicious!)

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    1. That doesn't sound so weird! Sour cream is sort of like creme fraiche anyhow and tons of people eat that with fruit.

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    2. Bananas, sour cream, and sugar was a treat from my childhood. Haven't had it in years. Strawberries work too.

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  4. Awesome use of Big Daddy title quote (clearly the funniest Rob Schneider has ever been) and the seamless Shruteing. (I just made a word! Take note!)Would you consider Kim Kardashian's butt calypgian? I'm desperately out of touch referring to my bum as a J-Lo booty. I think I'm going to start using "calypgian" to describe it. If I can figure out how to pronounce it, that is.

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    1. Yes! I was hoping someone would catch the title reference. My sister and my cousin and I watched that movie every single night for two weeks in a row when the tv at our beach rental place was broken. By the end we could almost recite all of the words. And ten llama points for also catching The Office reference.

      And Kim Kardashian's butt is definitely calypgian. (Say kuh-LIP-gee-in)

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  5. really, only 4,000 words? so many words i must learn!

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    1. Crazy right? Once in high school I tried to write down all the words I used over the course of a week so I could see how many words I knew but then I just started trying to sneak big words in all over the place and was really annoying so I quit.

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    2. that totally sounds like something i'd try to do! does that mean that if i learn 4,000 most used words in another language that i'd technically be fluent in that language? cause maybe i could manage that.

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    3. Oh it would totally mean that.

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  6. Cheese is Canadian. Apple pie is American. Cheese on apple pie is what the pilgrims were supposed to eat at Thanksgiving when Canadians and Americans sat down for their first peace meal. But that ( as we all know) never happened because there were no good calendars so the Canadians were 6 weeks early ( or as in our history books) the Americans were six weeks late. So everyone settled for pumpkin pie instead.

    But yes - cheddar cheese on apple pie is totally a known " thing"!

    And can you believe that school wouldn't hire me to teach history to our kids? RUDE!

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    1. Seriously rude! That was an excellent impromptu Friday history lesson I would say. And thank you for confirming that it is indeed a "thing."

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    2. I am norhing, if not wildly inaccurate. Which actually translates to: should write history texts.

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    3. Except for cheese on apple pie. That is totally accurate RYAN! ( how he could ever beat you in Jeopardy is beyond me)

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  7. Hey, jigsaw puzzles rock!

    A friend and I once decided to learn every word in the dictionary. We made flash cards and everything, but we never did get past the A's. But one of the words we learnt came up on our SAT's, so, win.

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    1. I just read like five words a night. I don't skip the words I think I know because it is surprising how often a word you know has another amazing meaning. And yeah we are huge puzzle nerds. We have a rule though that we can only work on them together which is really hard for me to abide by when I am home alone all day and the puzzle is just sitting there on the table staring at me. The SAT thing rocks!

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    2. I like to play on Freerice.com to expand my vocabulary and learn about other subjects. It's fun, educational and charitable all in one. The words are really easy at first, but on the upper levels it gets challenging.

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    3. And now I know what I am doing for the remainder of my afternoon.

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  8. I think that is something that people in Wisconsin do with their apple pie. Or Vermont. Someplace with cheese. Either way, totally acceptable, because people who make cheddar are awesome and they can put it on whatever they want. Tell RYAN to man up and quit acting so mollycoddled.

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    1. Seriously Ryan, stop with the mollycoddledness.

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  9. It IS normal!!! I've even seen it on restaurant menus. And seeing as how I am the alltime Jeopardy champion of the universe (for guessing the final question before the answer was read on Wed.), this should settle everything for Ryan. I also consider myself somewhat of a pie expert. (Which sounds very dirty, but I assure you is not.)

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    1. Yes! Thank you! And that is super awesome amazing about Jeopardy! I just love it when that happens. (I think I already knew this happened right? You FBd me or something. Either that or I'm going crazy. Or both.)

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    2. I did Facebook you about it. I like to say it over and over, which my husband says is getting old but I think that's the jealousy talking.

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    3. Totally the jealousy talking. Totally.

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    4. Yes, we started watching WoF and Jeopardy again ( once second child got old enough WoF counted as "teaching her letters" and Jeopardy counted as "teaching the 9 year old trivia" as opposed to " neglectful parents not reading to their kids and shushing them"). I told my husband your rule, he acted like I had a lobotomy but note - he was then the first to spit out a guess to the final category! I adore that rule, so much better to win that than the lottery ( no, it's not. Not at all! But is a great consolation win!).

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  10. that is totally a thing with the apple pie, not that i have done it.

    i have a very old dictionary, which is literally a foot thick. (and i mean literally, literally) and it's fun to go through it! it's how i named my cat. what is his name you ask?

    Quizzism: the act or habit of quizzing

    he just goes by Quizzie most of the time. he loves his name so much that he carries his tail in the shape of the question mark... and i just mean the top part of the question mark, i don't mean that he has a hover tail.... (but that would be AWESOME!)

    clearly justin timberlake is so upset by your successful marriage and has had to console himself with a wedding to whats-her-name. it's really quite pathetic.

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    1. Oh I want your dictionary! I'm obsessed with both dictionaries and old books. And oh my gosh 'hover tail' made me laugh so hard, you are awesome.

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  11. I heard once that there's one of those crazy old laws in Wisconsin that says you can't eat apple pie without cheese on top. Therefore, you're just being polite to your neighbors, duh.

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    1. Yeah Ryan, duh. I'm just being neighborly.

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  12. Speaking as a Wisconsinite, which totally makes me an expert on cheese, cheddar on apple pie is commonplace.

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    1. I have sent Ryan your comment via email. I love it when he is wrong. It happens less often than you'd think.

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  13. Anonymous10/19/2012

    Fellow dictionary-reader here! I was probably the only 8-yr old who could tell you & draw (crudely) what a dormer window was.

    My favorite A word was "akimbo" when I was a kid.

    xoxo!

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  14. I too appreciate the Big Daddy reference! However, I was a little bummed when I started reading because the title made me think we were going to get a chance to read the bird rap today (You know... hip hop, similar to rap... can you see how I made that jump? Or is it just my mind that works like that?), but now I'll just have something to look forward to on Monday!

    Also, regarding apple pie and cheese... I can't say I've ever done that but my snack for this afternoon is apple slices with cheddar on them and I think that is delicious so I can see your logic!

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  15. Cheddar cheese on apple pie is amazing! My grandmother always used to say "Apple pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze!

    Now I think I need to bake an apple pie this weekend :)

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    1. Anonymous10/19/2012

      I was just going to post that rhyme! My grandma said it too, and my mother, and you bet that I do too!

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  16. Apples + cheddar = AMAZING, RYAN.

    We have an extra sharp Wisconsin white and another random cheddar from Trader Joe's in the fridge right now. Now I have to bake an apple crisp IMMEDIATELY.

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    1. If I'm ever lucky enough to have you two for dinner, I'm totally making grilled cheese with GOOD cheese and apples and pears for dinner, and apple pie with cheese for dessert. That will show Ryan.

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  17. Also awesome? Scrambled eggs with apples and cheddar cheese...

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  18. I've heard of the cheese and pie thing but I don't like apple pie lol. Great word list. I'll have to think of someone that I like to use that make people giggle like twitterpated.

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  19. Anonymous10/19/2012

    The sharper the cheddar on the pie the better. The salt from the cheese brings out the flavor and balances the sweetness of the pie! Being a foodie, Ryan, I would expect you to know better! Good job for showing your cultured palate Lauren! :)

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  20. I always assumed that cheese and apple pie was fairly common. Cheese and fruit is a normal combo. Like cottage cheese with strawberries. Now, eating Kit-Kats dipped in salsa, like I do, is probably highly uncommon.

    Also, you left twatwaffle of your list of made up words!

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  21. I love this post! The dictionary is totally under-read. Pronk? Definitely my new favorite word, and apple pie with cheddar cheese is scrumptious and absolutely a thing!

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  22. Happy Friday....I would melt cheddar cheese on anthing - well, okay - most things, and eat it! I was very excited to drink wine and watch old "Without A Trace" episodes that I totally dvr every week which is absolutely a perfect evening, until the small blemish on my face has exploded into a full 16 yr old tumor. What?! I'm 37, this is unacceptable. *sigh* happy friday, now I'm drinking wine AND having cheddar cheese chunks for dinner, while rediscovering cover-up, and watching a show that isn't even on the air anymore. Cheers!

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  23. Alanna S10/19/2012

    Apple pie and cheese is just about the best thing ever. I like it better than apple pie and ice cream. Sharp cheddar cheese works best.

    Apple and cheese, yes please!

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  24. I also fully support cheese-ing your apple pie. My mother always says, "Apple pie without the cheese is like a hug without the squeeze." Cheese on!

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  25. My Grandpa always said "apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze!". Good memories. :)

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  26. Unfortunately, "ort" is already a word. It is the little pieces of short thread left over when hand sewing, There are even contraptions called "ort catchers."

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  27. Veronica10/20/2012

    I went to summer camp in middle school and the goal at every meal was to only take the food you were going to eat and after every meal everyone put their ort in a bin and we weighed it and we sang a song that went 'ooh ah the ort report I said ooh ah ort report'. Until now I thought they made that word up. You learn something new every day!

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  28. I strongly believe we need to use the word strumpet more in every day conversation.

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  29. When we were living in England (it breaks my heart that that is now past tense!) I made a discovery. Tart apples + Wensleydale cheese with cranberries pie. (The cheese is Wensleydale and one variety comes with cranberries. It can also come with pineapple, apricot, lemon, and "winter warmer", which is cranberries and mulled wine. GIRL YOU HAVE GOT TO GET TO ENGLAND. CHEESE IS SO GOOD.)
    But anyway, if you can find Wensleydale with cranberries, make the pie. It's AMAZING. You will never want to eat anything else. Plus it's a meal in itself. SO you can eat the whole thing. 1/3 for protein, 1/3 for fruit, 1/3 for dessert. MEAL.

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    1. Oh, and I always thought the sweet apples + cheddar cheese pie was a Southern thing... so tell Ryan it's the normal. He is not.

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  30. Puppygirl10/21/2012

    I always say when playing Scrabble that as long as the word is in the dictionary, it is fair game. Of course there is no designated "the" dictionary. Any dictionary is fair game. I just got an abridged version of Johnson's Dictionary. I can't wait to use more archaic terms to kick ass.
    [You should have seen the argument when I used "whee" and the crappy dictionary we had out at camp only had "wee", with both meanings (small and an expression of excitement); I went home and immediately found the appropriate entry, printed it out and posted in on the fridge. 'Vindication' was my word of the week.]

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  31. "Apple pie without a piece of cheese is like a smooch without a squeeze.” -Stephen King, Firestarter

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  32. Just sayin...anyone who has a dog knows you did not just make up the word "buttdangle". In fact, I am pretty sure I used it myself in the great grass dog-pooping catastrophe of 2007 while arguing whose turn it was to overcome the grossness and help a dog out.

    Prefabricanesia - when you have thought out a lie to cover your ass well in advance of needing to actually tell the lie, then fail miserably at the telling of said lie in the actual doing. Usually ends in a desperate attempt to blame something on the household pet at the end.

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  33. Oh. my. god. You just made my life.

    Random but related story. Was playing Kings Cup with my friends this weekend and when someone pulled a 9 we had to bust a rhyme and the word of choice was "Hard." We're going around and my friend says "Fard." So her boyfriend was like "That isn't a word!" and I said "No, but it's a name" because I totally have a coworker named Fard.

    Come here this morning... and you tell me it's a word.

    I love you. This is awesome. I'm sending a text out RIGHT NOW.

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  34. Hi Lauren! This is my first time commenting on here, and I just wanted to say I love your blog! It even inspired me to start blogging again myself. I started one 4 years ago and just decided after reading yours to start it up again. You are so funny and adorable, and we share a love of cheese. So, that's my random comment for now. Keep up the good work! Thank you for the(almost) daily laughs! - Shana

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