Hip Hip Hop Hip Hop Anonymous

Happy Friday Blogstalkers!

I hope you all have wonderful things planned for your weekend.  Ryan and I have a very busy Saturday so tonight we made plans to stay in, work on our Halloween jigsaw puzzle, make homemade sausage pizza and watch Friday Night Lights.  And then we realized that we are getting old.  So we decided we will do all of that but we will also drink mojitos because mojitos make everyone hip.  And if that doesn't work then we will just give in and admit that we are a little bit square.  And then we will be hip because of how it is hip to be square.

So here is something you did not know about me before today: I read the dictionary.  I read it a lot.  I like finding new words.  I like improving my vocabulary.  Also I'm on a bit of a mission to be more awesome than Shakespeare who supposedly had a vocabulary of over 29,000 words whereas the average English-speaker uses only about 4,000 regularly.  Although honestly Shakespeare, you're not fooling me.  I know you made up 1700 of those words.  And while I thank you for such words as 'madcap' and 'hobnob' and 'lackluster' and 'puking' I really don't think words one has invented themselves should be counted.  Especially when most of them are just two words that already existed smushed together.  Oh you disagree?  Fine.  Here is a small sampling of words I have just made up.

cowpimp

nipplenugget

buttdangle

monkeydonkey

mayonnaiserecliner

And with that, I raise my vocabulary to 4,005.  

But anyway, I thought I would use today to make a list of words that I believe are underutilized.  

1. Absquatulate - To run away, usually involves taking something or somebody along.  As in "I begged Justin Timberlake to absquatulate with me and he definitely considered it but then instead married whats-her-face probably only because he is honorable and no other reason."

2. Footle - Act foolishly, as by talking nonsense.  As in "Shakespeare was a nothing but a footling, vocabulary-exaggerating buttdangle."

3. Ort - A scrap or morsel of food left at a meal.  As in my personal cheese motto "No ort left behind."

4. Skirr - Move or fly rapidly.  As in "Ryan you are not a gangsta and that is not the correct use of the word skirred."  

5. Babag - Argument or fight.  As in "The first rule of Babag Club is you do not talk about Babag club."  or "Ryan and I often have baby babags."

6. Pronk - A weak or foolish person.  As in "Before I do anything, I ask myself 'would a pronk do that?' and if the answer is yes, then I do not do that thing."

7. Deosculate - To kiss affectionately.  As in "For some reason Ryan always runs from me when I tell him I am going to deosculate him.  He clearly does not know what the word means."

8. Mangold - Mangel-wurzel, obviously.

9. Fard - To put on makeup.  As in "I'll be ready in a minute, I'm in the bathroom farding my face."

10. Calypgian - Having a shapely buttocks.  As in "Ryan does this dress make me look calypgian?  Well? Does it? No this is not a trick question."

So that's all for today blogstalkers.  I'll post the giveaway winner (and the rap from the last post) on Monday since I have about a thousand comments and tweets and things to weed through to figure out exactly how many entries there were. 

What other words should have made this list? 

Oh and also, can someone please tell Ryan that it is totally normal to put a slice of cheddar cheese on top of a slice of apple pie and then microwave it until the cheese melts.  He says this is something only a pronk would do, but I can't believe that's true.

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