Five Things Friday - Interactions With My Husband

Hey Blogstalkers!

Here is my attempt to resurrect Five Things Friday.  Five interactions with my husband.

1) Not that long ago, a blissfully slumbering me, was awoken in the middle of the night by my husband shouting.  At first I was alarmed, thinking someone was breaking into our house.  And then I was momentarily nervous that if that was the case, the tiramisu I had been saving in the fridge for breakfast was probably in danger of being stolen.  But then I came to my senses and realized that Ryan was just shouting in his sleep and also that I had hidden the tiramisu really well so that neither Ryan nor burglars could find it.  And so I turned over and tried to ignore the incoherent but disturbingly loud mumblings coming from the other side of the bed.  But then Ryan was all "MATH!"  And I was like, "Yuck, remind me never to trade dreams with Ryan."

2) The morning after Ryan had his dream about cosines and tangents or whatever we had an argument because he said "For someone that claims they have no shame you certainly blush a lot."  And I was like, "I don't blush.  Never have.  I'm highly evolved."  To which Ryan was all "Huh?" and I was like "Ryan, you seriously need to read more books about vampires.  Blushing in front of a vampire makes them remember about how you are just filled with blood.  And then they can't help but eat you."  And then I won that argument, obviously.  Until later in the day when Ryan presented the following as evidence.

**When I say books about vampires, I am not talking Twilight.  I just read A Discovery of Witches and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.**

He was red from volleyball-related-exertion.  I was red from Ryan's mom mentioning prom
3) This is probably cheating since I already used it on Facebook, but if you haven't seen it already this was my status on Wednesday: Unpacking groceries today Ryan was all "Here will you put this in the fruit bowl?" and then tossed me a peach. Because I was lost in my own little world, I did not catch said peach and instead it just hit me in the throat. 

And then Ryan was all "Lauren, I'm sorry but seriously what are you always thinking?"

So since I'm me, in reply I sang, "That the only boy who could ever peach me, is a shirt-hating wiener fan."

And then Ryan gave me the weirdest look in the entire world and I realized how wrong that sounded and I was like "OH! NO! Not like that! You're just literally holding a package of hot dogs right now!"
So that was my afternoon.

4) Ryan decided this week that since I'm at home all day, it is now my job to plan our dates.  So then I planned a date for tonight and emailed it to him.  And then he re-tookover the role of date planner because of how he didn't want to "Sneak spiked Slurpees into Finding Nemo 3D."

5) Ryan is a White Sox fan, blech.  I am a Cubs fan.  Two of our good friends Julie and Caleb (remember them from this post?) grew up in Michigan and are Tigers fans.  The four of us went to the Sox/Tigers game on Wednesday.  This conversation ensued.

Julie: So who are you rooting for today?

Lauren: Probably the Tigers.  I don't think my heart or my face could stand another White Sox World Series win. 

Caleb: Wait..your face?

Lauren: Yeah, the last time the White Sox won the series, Ryan hit me in the face with a broom.

Ryan: It was an accident LAUREN.  I obviously didn't mean to hit you in the face with a broom.

Lauren: Yes but after the brooming you weren't apologetic even a little bit.  You just kept giggling maniacally and yelling "Sweep!"  And then some guy at another table at the bar was like "Did you just see that girl take a broom to the face?"

Ryan: You weren't hurt and the White Sox had just won the World Series.

Lauren: So yeah, that's why both my heart and my face can't take another one of those.

Here is Ryan still being excited that the Sox won the World Series like three years after it actually happened.

Lastly, a bit of business.  My FB friends have already seen this, but I'm looking to hire (without pay, mind you) a couple of contributors for the blog.  Four contributors to be exact.  Each to write a post for every fourth Tuesday.  I've already locked down two, but I'm still deciding on the others.  If you're interested please send me your idea/an example post to LaurenRaeGallagher@gmail.com.  I'm definitely looking for funny, original material, but also need these posts to follow a specific theme.  One of the bloggers already committed, for example, will be doing a monthly book club sort of thing.  In return for writing a monthly-ish column you will be featured on a "Contributors" tab that I will create as well as get a byline at the beginning of every post you write.  Also, because of the trouble I have keeping my mouth shut, I do not promise to not add my own commentary into your posts wherever I like.  Sorry about that in advance.


32 comments:

  1. You look exactly like Kate Middleton in that picture of you and Ryan. Like, I can't even focus on the rest of that post.

    Maybe y'all are actually related. You *could* be in line for the throne! You better look into that.

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    1. Ha! I don't see it! But I will take that compliment and run with it.

      Now if you'll excuse me I have to go work on my family tree.

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  2. ok - i would volunteer. i would. except there is no rhyme nor reason to anything i write about. i'm not even sure if it's funny.

    but i think you're funny. and maybe, JUST MAYBE, one day i can be married like you (since my boyfriend and i have been dating for 12 years).

    -seacrest out

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    1. I'm not being too stringent about the whole theme thing, like Five Things Friday to me, is a theme. So if you want to rethink and submit a mock post just email me!

      Oh and just fyi, it doesn't help you get engaged any faster if you cut a piece of string in the exact size of your ring finger and put it on your boyfriend's night stand with a note that says "This string is cut to my ring size."

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    2. i'll take that into consideration. all of it. i worry because he likes to do the moves to beyonce's "put a ring on it." i don't know if he's trying to send me a message or not.

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  3. Omg I loved Discovery of Witches!!!! Have you read Shadow of Night yet? It is sooooo good but I'm really needing my questions answerd....I wish when you finished a book the next in the series was ready right away. I'm impatient with waiting :(

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    1. I really liked Discovery of Witches but I'm still waiting for Shadow of Night to come in the mail! This is the only moment in time that I have ever considered actually using Ryan's Kindle instead of getting the physical book. I am slowly dying of anticipation. And yeah, I'm not happy the third book isn't published yet. I'm not sure I'll be able to wait for it.

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    2. Ya I invested in a book and if I love the book I buy the real deal but I have no patience at all haha. It is worth the wait though you will love it!!

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  4. Bahahaha....love the broom in the face....HTH did he do that...does he not know how to sweep a broom???? Keep em coming Lauren...love the blog!!!!

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    1. Haha it was just a little broom that he'd been carrying around in his pocket that day just in case the Sox swept the series. So he was waving it in the air more than making any sort of sweeping motion with it.

      and Thanks!

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  5. Yesterday, I was running an interview and my tummy made this very strange noise. My fellow interviewer was looking around as if to say, "did someone's stomach just miaow?". And I thought, "Just stay calm. If you don't react at all noone will know it was you." And I just kept on going, nodding at the interviewee and looking at him with a beady eye like I might have been thinking, "did you bring a cat? that's not going to sway me in this interview, my man."

    Except...I could feel my face getting hotter, and hotter, and I knew I was blushing, and everyone would now know it was me with the miaowing cat tummy. Betrayed by my pale complexion. Again.

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    1. Haha first, I think I was commenting on your blog at the exact moment you were commenting on mine.

      Second, that story made me laugh out loud, seriously.

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    2. Oh, also, I have emailified you with some blog posts that I thought might fit with the style of your blog! Themes, not so sure of...I always stay at work late on a Tuesday, coincidentally, so it could be something around that, because that's like Mostly Wordless Wednesdays, 'cept it would be with words and a Tuesday. So totally different. But the same.

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    3. Blog comment snap!

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    4. Yep got them! And read your posts and commented on one of them. I'll be emailing you back shortly!

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  6. I wanted to have spiked slurpee's and watch Finding Nemo 3D too but my husband also said no. He told me that we can when it comes out on blu ray but I'm sure he's just hoping I forget, not going to happen!

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    1. I don't understand even a little bit why husbands everywhere do not think that is a good idea for a date. It is a MARVELOUS idea.

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  7. I would submit some of my blog posts to consider, except I have no blog so would have to steal them. And then because of course I am a high-achiever, I would have to steal them from a popular and awesome blog, such as The Bloggess. And then it would become very awkward. But in my defense, she did recently post about how maybe shoplifting would be OK, so I could maybe escape with my dignity intact by pretending it was all just a big joke, hahaha, but then if I did it again, it would really super awkward.

    So I shall stick with being a reader and not a contributor.

    And also - are you sure he said "Math" and not "Meth"???? (though I can't tell you which is worse, really). OK, one more also - once my husband had a dream, and it was of cheese (Ok, OK, I get that is your thing and probably the Best Dream Ever for you) but in HIS dream he dreamt that he went to the kitchen, got out a block of cheese, cut it, and ate it. And then he woke up. Do I even have to mention he is an engineer and not, for example, into the creative arts? ;)

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    Replies
    1. And it took me 12 + hours to figure out the song reference in the peach-throwing story; and I may or may not have been horribly jealous and thinking evil thoughts during that time towards anyone who acted in on the joke.

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  8. You are awesome. I am a massive blusher. You rule. Weird how I put those together! Kinda like I'm a BLOGSTALKER or something.

    I'm not really a writer, though I talk a lot. I could draw pictures! And then ramble on and on nonsensically!

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  9. As someone who went on a date with her now husband to Wall-e with margaritas in coffee mugs, I say you guys should go on your planned date. Enjoyed it so much we even got a picture sitting with card board Wall-e and Eva, no one even noticed us :)

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  10. Lisa S9/14/2012

    It's Five Things Friday! I've missed those. Very funny post.

    I like how you had to explain you didn't mean Twilight. Every time I mention my favourite vampire book series (The Vampire Diaries), I have to explain that I do mean the books and that they have very little to do with the tv series. (I'll have to admit though that the books aren't brilliantly written and that I probably mostly love them because I read them when I was 12 and they were oh so romantic to my 12-year-old mind. But some parts still make me cry.)

    Being a contributor to your blog would be fantastic but I'm not a good enough writer, sadly. Best of luck to the applicants.

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  11. Oh my God, that sounds like the best date ever. Ryan is a dummy face for not agreeing to that. A stinky dummy face.

    ...I hang around kids too much.

    Interestingly, I cannot blush. Does that mean I'm a non-Twilight vampire? And if so, can vampires eat chocolate and cheese?

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  13. Number three actually made me snort so loud I startled the guy in the next apartment! He just popped his head around to see if I was okay, I think he thought I was choking and he'd have to do the heimlich or something!

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  14. I think you could have a successful side business planning dates for bored couples. Maybe produce a deck of cards with suggestions on them that they could shuffle and draw one at random.

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  15. In the future, if you really want to hide the tiramisu (or guacamole), just put it into an opaque container. Men are so lazy that they won't bother to actually open a container to see what's in it, thus guaranteeing that whatever is in said container will remain safe. I use this to my advantage. Leftovers I want him to eat go into clear containers. Anything I want, opaque. Works every time.

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  16. Melissa9/15/2012

    You are a fancy fun wife. Ryan acts gruff but he's a softie, I bet. Listen, I'm going to a kids movie today w/ my niece. If it helps, I'll embarrass the person who keeps kicking my chair. Someone's gotta do it.

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  17. I like how Ryan had to prove you wrong. That is something my boyfriend would do.

    If I was more intersting in general, then I would want to be a guest blogger. Sadly, I'm lucky enough to keep up with my blog as is! I hope you find your four bloggers. :]

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  18. When I saw the volleyball picture, at first I thought it said you were blushing because Ryan's mom was mentioning *p0rn*. I was SHOCKED and slightly dismayed. I was so relieved to look again and see that she was mentioning PROM. Now I just keep giggling to myself....I'm such a dork.

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  19. I seriously just laughed hysterically reading this post. Your blog is just a joy to read!

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