WOW. I really need to learn when to just let a pun go. Sorry about that.
As many of you know, last week was Shark Week on The Discovery Channel. My husband loves Shark Week because, you know, non-stop programming about people getting eaten by sharks and almost constant reprises of the Jaws Theme, what's not to love?
This year was particularly painful as there was this one program Ryan made me watch about a shark called the Megalodon, which apparently is prehistoric and could get up to the size of a fucking cruise ship. I have never been so happy to have not been born during the time of the dinosaurs. UNLESS (and bear with me a moment here, I'm not great at prehistoric history) would that mean I would have been, as some sort of predecessor of human kind, like a monkey?
But moving on, (wow I am so good at these "mostly wordless" posts huh?)
This year in honor of Shark Week, or rather as something to get me through the horror that is Shark Week, I hatched a tiny plot, a 12lb dog-sized plot. And then I went on the internet and ordered a shark costume for my ridiculously dainty dog Daisy and sat down and drew out schematics for what I had started calling "When Poodles Attack Ryan"
Then early last Friday morning, I snuck out of bed with the rising of the sun and stole away to prepare for the morning's probable bloodshed. I readied Rimsky-Korsakov's "Flight of the Bumblebee" (my chosen theme song) on YouTube and strapped my dog into her terrifying new togs while explaining to her that today she was a ferocious man-eating beast and should act as such and stop trying to lick my eyeballs.
Positively fizzing with nervous excitement I scooped up my dog and my computer and rushed back to the bedroom. I hit Play on the song, flung open the door, tossed a small shark-clad dog on the bed and yelled SHARK ATTACK!
And then Daisy kissed Ryan to death and didn't even bite him ONCE even though I was in the corner yelling things like, "No not kisses! Eat him! Get his nose!" and my plan was foiled.
Ryan has rules about what pictures I can and can not post on the internet so unfortunately I don't have any pictures of the actual event (which was pathetic by the way DAISY.) But here a few shots of my dog dressed as a shark.
|Hi I'm Daisy. Sure I may look barbarous, brutal and blood-thirsty, but...|
|But really I am a delicate little flower and I am only doing this because Lauren promised me treats.|
|I hardly think you deserved this Daisy, but a promise is a promise, so whatever.|
There are so many more words than pictures in this post.