A Blogstalker's Interview With Lauren, Queen And Also Princess Of The Land Of Awkward.


Morning Blogstalkers!

Recently, in an attempt to merge my online personality with my In-Real-Life persona I asked for a volunteer on Facebook to do an interview/guest post.  Kait, who writes the extremely well-written blog The Fox Confesses was up for the challenge.  I just feel like sometimes I come across as a ridiculous specimen of a girl on this blog and I wanted you all to at least catch a glimpse of the real Lauren.  So below, I present to you Kait's write-up of our completely ridiculous (sorry Kait) Skype interview. 

But first I want to say that she compliments me entirely too much in this post, so here are a few disgusting things about me to balance it out: 

I wore a dress to work last week without realizing that I hadn't shaved my legs in approximately 10 days.

In junior high a classmate told me she didn't feel like she could be friends with me any longer because I "sneezed too much." 

I still really like the Ace Of Base album The Sign and I may or may not listen to the Ace of Base station on Pandora at work.

On my 20th birthday I had to go home and change after dinner out with my friends because a homeless man threw leftover birthday cake at me when I tried to give him leftover birthday cake.

In high school I learned the entire dance routine to the song "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera thanks to my sister Nicky and her friend Carly.  I still remember parts of it and listen to that song and do the routine on a semi-regular basis when Ryan is not at home.

Ok...I think that's enough.  A girl's got to have some secrets.  So without further ado, I give you Kait.
When the Interwebs are overrun with enough nonsense to choke a brontosaurus, it's refreshing to stumble upon something that is truly funny without trying too hard, something with plenty of heart and without pretense. So I'm pretty darn happy to have practically stubbed my toe on Filing Jointly...Finally.

Lauren's writing cuts through the white noise found on so many blogs and achieves what many do not: honesty, humor, and humility with a healthy portion of snide sarcasm. (Self-deprecation in a blog is rarely both sincere and endearing; while there's no scientific measurement of what is genuine and what is contrived, there is no denying the authenticity of both her voice and the loyal affection she has inspired in her blogstalkers.) A real person breathes (and sings and eats cheese) behind the words we are so lucky to have shared with us, and she readily invites us into her life, embarrassing bruises and all. And yet, while Lauren's storytelling displays her wonderful ability to be both smart and silly, it is her command of content and language that is unique amid the thousands of other blogs and pages upon pages of cat photos clamoring for our attention. She has a fantastic style of stream-of-consciousness that is extremely readable - and she does it so well particularly because she knows how to end it (Believe me, rambling is a blogging beast that is hard to tame). 

Cheek and charm aside, I didn't quite know what to expect when I volunteered to interview Lauren. I'm incredibly awkward and I feel like a creeper knowing so much about someone I've never actually met. I make a terrible Katie Couric - who am I to ask a virtual stranger questions like it's actually my business? Hell, sometimes I even feel nosy just asking acquaintances if they enjoyed their weekend. And I am decidedly not eloquent when I'm nervous (Did I mention I'm incredibly awkward?). But we both did our best, so without further ado…

Nine Things I Learned from My Interview with Lauren

1. Lauren's voice is deeper than I expected. Not like a man's or anything, like maybe Lauren delegated to Ryan the task of talking to a nosy person with too-loud nervous laughter; she has a perfectly lovely voice. I just inexplicably heard a higher voice in my head while falling in love with her blog, the same way you might imagine a character from a book to look a certain way. Now I just get to read with much greater vocal accuracy while knowing I sound like an idiot on Skype.  (Yep, my voice is decidedly not high and girly.  It's not crazy deep or anything, but I was a tenor in choir.  I like to think it makes me more commanding.  Ryan for some reason still adopts a high-pitched tone when imitating me.)

2. Lauren totally cheated her way through college.  Kait! You promised you wouldn't say that!

3. Just kidding! Ryan would guide Lauren through her math/gross-number-related homework, and Lauren would help Ryan write his English papers while accepting tutoring compensation in the proper form of dinner and shoes.(This is a very nice way of putting it.  I think during the interview I accidentally called myself a "Shoe Hooker") She, of course, took her own tests and has an Economics (and Accounting, because I'm SO good at math) degree, after all -obviously not cheating, but she wanted so badly to be clear about it that she sent me a follow-up email just to make sure I didn't think she and Ryan were cheaters. Basically all it means is that Lauren and Ryan were destined to play to each others' strengths from academia to holiday-celebrating/ruining, and which will surely come in handy for baby-having.

4. Lauren doesn't think she's funny in person (unless it is unintentional), and Ryan says she can only be funny when she writes.

5. Lauren and Ryan are wrong about Number 4.  (I still don't believe this.  I'm really really awkward and sort of quiet in person,)

6. If Lauren was to choose a favorite dinosaur, it would be probably be a pterodactyl - the ability to fly counts for a lot. (If you've read my last post then you know I'm not a big fan of the idea of flying in general.  But I'm terrified of Tyrannosaurus Rexes (they haunt my night terrors) so any dinosaur that can hover out of reach of a T-Rex's teeth is a winner in my book.)

7. Lauren has never met a cheese she didn't like, but if you want to score points, get the girl some goat cheese. (Yes, get me some goat cheese.)

8. You wouldn't think it given their very un-Jane Austen-like Western genre and often scary plot lines, but The Lonesome Dove books are some of Lauren's favorites. This now means she's found a best friend in my dad. (After reading the Loneseome Dove series when I was 15 I started having really bad dreams about torturing Indians and slept on my parents' bedroom floor every night for about three weeks.  I have since reread the series approximately five times.  Ryan is the lucky boy that gets to endure the Indian-Dreams-Month with me now.  Seriously, in the books there is this one Indian that ties a man to a stake in the full sun and cuts off his eyelids.  Best books ever.)

9. While she would love to see Filing Jointly grow as a blog, Lauren doesn't think she'll ever extend herself to writing a book or anything on that scale. She says she has too short of an attention span and that it would be The Worst Book Ever, but I think it's safe to say she'd have some guaranteed readers. Book tour a la The Bloggess, anyone?  (This is very sweet, but I really don't know if a book is in the picture for me.  It's a daunting prospect.  I mean, I have a hard time even updating this blog more than once a week.  And I never really wrote much before this blog, unless you count my terrible wedding blog and the month in high school when two of my Letters To The Editor were published in the Chicago Tribune.)

This is no overture, although I realize it sure might read that way. This is just an earnest Thank You (No, Thank YOU Kait.) to someone whose struggles with anxiety and depression make mine easier to bear, whose often-twisted humor encourages my own, and who is brave enough to be her snarky, imperfect, hilarious self for all us blogstalkers to read. And in her case, to read Lauren is to love her.

Thanks Again Kait!

Oh and this is really random, but one of the blogs I stumbled across somehow a couple of years ago is Kayla Aimee - Only Slightly Neurotic.  I seriously LOVE her blog.  She's a very nice Christian girl so her blog isn't nearly as inappropriate as mine but she has the best sense of humor and the cutest little girl of all time.  Anyway, yesterday was her birthday and she posted a list of freebies one can get on their birthday that I thought I'd share with you all.  I am all about getting things for free.  Seriously check out her blog though.  She makes me laugh out loud like all the time.

48 comments:

  1. I loved this post! I think Kait portrayed very well the person that we all see through this blog. Lauren, you are one of the most honest bloggers I "stalk" and I love your humor and wit. I also agree with Kait, as one who deals with depression and anxiety, you make mine easier to bear. Thanks for the laughs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you liked it Tink! I'm so very happy that I can help anyone with anxiety/depression in any way. I know how hard they are to manage.

      And thank you for calling me honest. I very much want this blog to be a very honest portrayal of who I am.

      Delete
  2. This is awesome!!! And not surprising at all. Kait did an incredible job and what a cool idea!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She did an amazing job right!? So glad you liked it.

      Delete
  3. You need to order some Herbed Goat Cheese from Vermont Butter and Cheese company. And the Olive goat cheese spread. Best. Goat. Cheese. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looking this up right now. I love olives, I love goat cheese, sounds like a winning combination.

      Delete
  4. Carly Rae Jepsen6/07/2012

    I didn't know there were Indians in Lonesome Dove... I'm pretty sure there were lots of Native Americans though. :)

    I love "The Sign" as well, maybe we can sing and dance to it together sometime soon.

    And Ryan loves the song "Dirrty" You should def dance that routine for him sometime.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi OJ! (This is OJ right?)

      1. I know Native Americans is the more politically correct term but in Lonesome Dove they def call them Indians. Buffalo Hump is a Comanche Indian. He's horrible though, no threat to robbing you of the title of "Lauren's Favorite Indian."

      2. Ok! Just a couple of weeks!

      3. He doesn't actually. He much prefers Come On Over.

      Delete
  5. This is great!! And I considered reading Lonesome Dove at the first mention, but you lost me at cutting off eyelids. I'm much more of a shoot-you-in-the-face-and-splatter-your-brains-and-move-on type girl than a slow torture one. And if you decide to turn this into a semi-regular thing, I'm still up for interviewing you. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should definitely read Lonesome Dove and Streets of Laredo and Dead Man's Walk and Comanche Moon. Seriously all worth it. And I'm not a Western-loving type of girl. There's not a crazy amount of the torture stuff.

      And sure, interview me any time you want. I always need blog posts.

      Delete
    2. I have to say that I read Lonesome Dove because it is my husband's favorite book. I thought it was OK. But, I found it really hard to get past them using the word "poke" every time they were talking about relations between a man and a woman. I mean, it would just make me giggle. I could not take it seriously.

      Delete
    3. Haha yes the "poke" thing used to weird me out a bit, but I've gotten used to it. I still just love the book. Your husband must have excellent taste.

      Delete
  6. Oh my gosh! It's SO WEIRD seeing this posted! Anyway, I'm so relieved you liked my odd little write-up, and thanks for being such a gracious interviewee - it was an honor :) And thank you so much for the generous compliment about my blog being "extremely well-written" - that's incredibly sweet of you to say, and makes me feel better about the mess I feel I make of words sometimes. If you ever feel like interviewing me, I can bet you it will be just as ridiculous, if not more awkward :)

    PS. Disgusting things? Psh. On one occasion in college, I had been totally NOT drinking (not even a little bit because it would be illegal and I'm a GOOD GIRL...), and in the very wee hours of the morning as my friends and I were returning to our dorm, I saw a huge, fuzzy raccoon across and empty parking lot and decided we were best friends. Naturally, as I ran full-tilt toward it so I could give it a hug, I tripped over one of the parking stall curb things and slid on the asphalt like a tipsy superman. So not only did I NOT get to hug my best friend the raccoon, I tore both knees of my favorite jeans as well as my actual knees, and skinned my hands so horribly that I couldn't high-five without bleeding for a week. Ta Da!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great interview, Kait! You know I love reading your blog, along with anything else you post on the internets, and it's great to see your personality come out in this interview - not to mention getting a great look at Lauren's humor and all-too-humble persona. I can practically taste the blushing!

      Well done, girl!

      Delete
    2. Thanks Again Kait! I think you did a great job. I'll interview you anytime you wish.

      Your story made me seriously laugh out loud! I had a guy friend leave me a voice message in a similar state of intoxication in college. He was lost on his campus and trying to figure out where he lived. It was 3am. My favorite line from the voicemail was "Oh My God that's the biggest rabbit I've ever seen."

      Delete
    3. Thanks for reading Stacy! I'm jealous if you get to be real life friends with Kait.

      Delete
    4. She's pretty great.

      Delete
    5. Oh you guys, I'm blushing so hard my eyeballs are burning.

      Delete
  7. loved the interview! wish i had the lady balls to volunteer to do it... maybe next time...

    lauren, i'm *kind* of upset that by saying you still love "the sign" by ace of base, you imply that no one listens to it anymore, which just isn't true since i'm pretty sure i have it on repeat on my ipod. :)

    please, please promise me you'll let me stalk you in person again next time you're in dallas... maybe we can break out the ace of base at a karoke bar or something. just sayin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad other people love The Sign! Ryan makes so much fun of me for it, so it was a secret shame. Now I know it's not as bad as he makes it out to be.

      And let's definitely do the karaoke thing next time I'm in Dallas! I apologize in advance for bursting your eardrums with my horrible singing voice.

      I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes and I am happy now living without you, I've left you Oh Oh Ohhhhh.

      Delete
  8. p.s. i think i need you to teach me the moves to 'dirty.' i somehow feel like i missed out on my pre-teen glory. thanks in advance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha anytime! Although I'm not sure I'm doing it right. Almost positive. This is supported by the idea that my sister told me "You're not doing it right" when I was learning the routine.

      Delete
  9. Lovely interview! Lauren, thanks so much for sending me to Kayla's blog. I am always looking for something new to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome! I love her blog.

      Delete
  10. 1) When 'The Sign' came out, I told my mom that she should listen carefully because it was the future of music. (And I had the authority to do so; I was taking viola lessons)
    2) Kait, you used the word 'pretense' - have you been stalking MY blog??? (I hope so)
    3) Funny that you mention cats - The Bloggess post for today had a picture of her with a cat oh her head. And Morgan Freeman, with a cat on HIS head. Isn't that WEIRD??

    Lauren, I love the blog. Kait, I loved the interview. (You didn't make a mess of any words.) :) Will go check out Kayla's blog as well. I'm a Christian girl too, but I cuss - and I just don't think God gives a shit whether I cuss or not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1) I'm pretty sure I probably said the exact same thing about The Spice Girls.
      2) I've read your blog, and when I have kids and accidentally snap at them in the grocery store, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just happen to be there as well.
      3)I love that picture of The Bloggess.

      Definitely check out Kayla's blog! She writes about scrapbooking (which I don't do) sometimes but she manages to make me laugh while still managing to be entirely appropriate, which is so interesting to me.

      Delete
  11. As a once professional paleontology museum curator person, I feel the need to point out that, sadly, pterodactyls weren't dinosaurs. Also, most of the time when people say "pterodactyl," they mean "pterosaur."

    I know, I know, it's like loosing the brontosaurus all over again and it completely throws off the flow of The Land Before Time, parts I - XXCVI (I don't even know if that's a real Roman numeral. I just know there were far too many Land Before Time movies). However, you can now say you have a favorite prehistoric flying reptile, and that's pretty smartypants. Say it with a British accent and no one will ever question you again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmph. Very disappointed. I LOVE the first Land Before Time movie (don't think I've ever seen the rest) I seriously wanted to name one of my dogs Ducky. Sadly, my husband nixed that idea.

      Am changing my favorite dinosaur to Velociraptor while keeping Pterodactyl as my favorite prehistoric flying reptile.

      Delete
  12. Too adorable! It's great getting to know you!

    (But I honestly suspected you were really awesome anyway ;o)

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why thank you Valerie! You're pretty awesome yourself.

      Delete
  13. Nice one.

    FYI. Contests ends today. Not sure what your definition of tomorrow is. ; )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God how horrible am I right? I seriously tried and tried to think of a boat name and came up with like NOTHING. Then I asked Ryan for help and his ideas were worse than nothing. So I've failed you, in the end.

      Delete
  14. I have to check my legs every time I put on a skirt to make sure I shaved recently. That's how often that happens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it's happened to me before too...sigh...you'd think I'd learn. I'm always halfway to work and am all like, oh crap.

      Delete
  15. Waitaminnut, Lauren, weren't you one of the group that in junior high rode the "special bus" to high school to take advanced math classes because you were a year ahead of everybody else other than those who rode with you? Yeah, yeah you were. I was always secretly jealous of that group, like being really good at math was a superpower. In retrospect, what a lame superpower. I'd much rather sneeze diamonds. Anyways, why was Ryan helping you with the math homework if you were better at math? Didn't want to be outed as a math whiz? Sorry for outing you if that's the case.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nick, Shush! I don't need everyone on the internets to know about my days of riding the "Little Bus."

      But yes, I did take math at the high school in eighth grade. But it was hard for me. I actually had to study pretty hard to keep up with everyone else. And you should definitely not have been jealous. It was really hard to be a small 14 year old in class with enormous 17 year olds. Super intimidating.

      Ryan is MUCH better at math than I am, but was also better at NOT TRYING TOO HARD in high school, hence his not taking the Little Bus with me.

      Delete
  16. Can I be court jester of the land of awkward? Cool, thanks.

    You are obviously a sadist. To read those books repeatedly knowing how you react? Girl, you are bad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure!

      And every time I read those books I think I'm not going to get the dreams. Then I fall asleep and Buffalo Hump (one of the scary Indians) is chasing me across the plains screaming some sort of war cry.

      And then my husband wakes up to me screaming some sort of terrified cry in my sleep.

      Delete
  17. I adore your blog, and the interview was awesome! I just wanted to share with you that while I've never had a homeless person throw a piece of cake back at me, I did have one squirt me with a Mcdonald's ketchup packet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! I've never had that happen, but I have had a homeless man call me a "No Good Hobag" after I wouldn't buy him a cheeseburger. (I literally had like three dollars to my name.)

      Delete
  18. I stumbled upon your blog today and laughed out loud SO many times. I worry that my coworkers may become suspicious. This is a delight to read!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you've made your way over here and that you're enjoying the blog! It's so nice to hear.

      Delete
  19. Lisa S6/13/2012

    I've been a bad bad blogstalker lately, but I didn't forget you! (As if anyone could). And I'm all caught up now.

    I have to say, "too much sneezing" is a bullshit reason to not be friends with someone.

    I haven't listened to Ace of Base in forevers (as evidenced by the layer of dust on the CD when I got it from the shelf a minute ago. There are other ways to listen to music? Oh), but I'd probably sing along (badly) if I put some on.

    Cool idea for a post. And well executed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the sneezing thing I think was a lie. She probably just didn't want to be friends with me anymore and was trying to think of a reason that didn't sound too mean. Whatever.

      I hadn't listened to Ace of Base in probably ten years then I heard it on Pandora and became obsessed again. Now it's like all I listen to. My husband is horrified.

      Delete
  20. If Lauren had to swap out the bottom half of her body with that of an animal, what animal would Lauren pick?

    I would go with kangaroo. Because I could kickbox like anything, and also store little ziplock bags with sandwhiches in my tummy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I'd totally take the bottom half of a mermaid and then I would actually be a mermaid since they have human tops anyhow. And then I would make best friends with a fish and I would be able to sing beautifully and I would marry a prince and then someone would make a movie out of the story of my life because it would be so unlike anything anyone had ever heard before.

      Delete
  21. Lately I've been a horribly reader/commenter. Actually, I've just been a horrible Interneter in general. And Chrome is believing me that Interneter is a word, which is even more awesome. Anywaysss, lately everyone that I talk to hates goat cheese and I am so happy to see goat cheese getting some love here because, seriously, I want to take the log out of my fridge and just eat it right now. But instead, I am trying to be classy so I am eating some cheddar strawberry chardonay cheese. (Which is delicious but it isn't goat cheese.) I think I am saving it for something important but I honestly don't remember what that is and I didn't eat a real dinner so maybe I'll just go have a strawberry, spinach, and goat cheese sandwich.

    ReplyDelete
  22. hey thanks for the sweet words about my blog & my birthday freebie list- it's nice to see it appreciated because my husband doesn't so much appreciate it as find it incredibly annoying. Something about something about spending all that money on gas to drive to all the different places or whatever. I was all "see you later, free milkshake" Also, I love Ace of Base with an intense passion. AND my baby IS really cute. So reading all of these things made me happy :)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
 
Site Design By Designer Blogs