Other Things On My Desk: One Windup Monkey, Two Windup Robots, Small Pink Glitter Tiara For Fancy Days, Cinderella Chapstick, Two Pictures Of My Dogs, No Pictures Of Ryan...Should Probably Mention That To My Therapist.

Good Morning Blogstalkers!!

Just had this conversation with someone at work. 

L: So I need to take Thursday and Friday off next week if possible.

Someone: That's probably fine, I'll check forecasting and see what we're expecting to happen those days.  Why do you need them off?

L: I am flying to Dallas.

S: Some sort of dinosaur convention?

L: What?  Why the heck?

S: You have like four dinosaurs on your desk, I just assumed you loved them.

L: I do NOT have four dinosaurs on my desk, TWO tops.

S: Shall we go count?

L: Yesssss....But first I need to run to my desk and make sure there aren't four dinosaurs on it and if there are then I need time to hide two really quickly.

S: You have the pink triceratops.

L: Yes, Pinky.  She makes realistic roaring noises.

S: Of course she does.  And then you have the new green T-Rex that you got in your Easter Basket.  Whose name I can now only assume is Greeny.

L: It is NOT.  That would be stupid.

S: What's its name?

L: (**thinking SHIT it's totally Greeny**) Umm Roger or something, I don't remember.

S: Ok.  And then you have the tiny wind-up dinosaur.

L:  Crap.  That's true.  But that's it.  Not FOUR.  Three.

S: True.  Three three-dimensional dinosaurs.  But now, if we're also counting stickers...

L: **whispers** five

S: Boom.

So yeah.  Turns out I have a secret love of all things dinosaur.

But I am NOT flying to Dallas for a dinosaur convention (this time.)  I am flying there to meet Jenny Lawson!!  That's right.  Shes' not coming to Chicago on her book tour, so I am going to her home state because I am a total creepy stalker. 

I have both tweeted her and left a comment on her most recent blog entry to let her know. 

She has not responded.

Because I am a total creepy stalker.

My husband thinks I am totally bonkers.

Lauren: The Bloggess is not coming to Chicago on her book tour.  I think I need to fly to another city to meet her.

Ryan: That's going a little overboard don't you think?

Lauren: Probably.  But when have I ever gone underboard?

Ryan: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  Underboard isn't even a word.

Lauren: You're just upset you didn't make it up aren't you. (Remember how he makes up words?)

Ryan: Maybe a little.

Lauren: So you'll come with  me?

Ryan: Definitely not. 

Lauren: But I neeeed you for support. (And to carry-on my pool noodle.)

Ryan: Still no.

Lauren:  She's going to Dallas.

Ryan: I have changed my mind.  I will accompany you to Dallas.


Guess who lives in Dallas?

Lauren: You are so easily manipulated.  I am totally the boss of this marriage.

Ryan: Please LAUREN.  I got you to promise to never call me "Ry-Ry" again and to swear that you would stop wearing your orange sweatpants out of the house just by buying you a three month membership to the cheese of the month club.

Lauren: Yes but what you didn't know is that my orange sweatpants had developed a hole in an indecent place making them suddenly unsuitable to wear out of the house.  AND I had a backup nickname at the ready.

Ryan: They were always unsuitable to wear out of the house.  And I've asked you to stop calling me THAT as well. (**puts head in hands and mutters "how did this even happen to me"**)

Lauren:  It was luck.  You lucked out.  Marriage jackpot!  FOREVER.  I love you Monkey.

Ryan: Shit.

Lauren: **gives Ryan hug** Ohhh I've always wanted to hold a monkey.

Ryan: Get OFF of me.

So yeah, on April 26th I get to meet The Bloggess.  And probably become her best friend in the entire world.  Now I just need to figure out what to wear and what to bring her and what to say.

Suggestions are totally welcome.


116 comments:

  1. You should totally bring collated paper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh totally. And a spatula probably.

      Delete
  2. I believe antique taxidermied alligators are always welcome, but I believe she just purchased five, so maybe next time. If you brought a picture of Nathan Fillion with twine you would win ALL the things though.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I SO wish I knew Nathan Fillion so I could get that picture. It would probably make me famous. And then I would probably have to hide under my bed most of the days.

      Delete
  3. I was also going to say something taxidermied but how would you explain that to TSA oh don't mind this dead stuffed clothed animal he just cant travel with out his pool noodle.

    P.S. Don't delete my comment again LAUREN.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wouldn't even know where to START on finding some sort of taxidermied animal. There's a possibility she owns all of them already anyway.

      And NEVER again, I promise!

      Delete
    2. Oh, I think you could totally take a taxidermied animal on the plane.

      One time I packed a skull, an antler, and porcupine quills in my carry-on, to get from Michigan back to the hell that is Arizona. The guys at the x-ray thing ran that sucker through the machine a trillion times, and I got some very weird looks. And then when I got home my boyfriend was like, "Did you bring me anything?" I said, "Can I interest you in a skull, some quills, or a small antler?"

      No. No, I could not.

      Delete
    3. Haha!! I wish my carry-on was as exciting as yours. But alas, it usually just contains books and pills.

      Delete
    4. Typically mine does, too. My dad, however, had just retired from his job as a science/social studies teacher, so I got the coolest stuff that he had collected over the years.

      Delete
    5. Lucky. My dad is an insurance agent. When he retires I'll just get a new insurance agent.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous4/16/2012

    Wear a red dress too!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a good idea. Especially since I don't have any red dresses so it means I would get a new dress out of the deal.

      Delete
    2. you should get a new red dress, and have Ryan cover it in rubies.

      Delete
    3. I really should Holly right? COVERED in rubies (I will also accept diamonds) RYAN.

      Delete
  5. I'm pretty sure you will win Jenny's heart if you tweet ahead of time to let her know you plan to ask her to sign your boobs. The venue may not allow it but it will most certainly endear you to her for, well, ever. Also, tell her you plan to quit your job and follow her around the country, kind of like a Grateful Dead groupie, only waaaay smarter and funnier and better smelling. (I'm just assuming the better smelling part-I SWEAR I haven't been stalking and sniffing you). Most of all, have a wonderful time. I remember how giddy I was in the third grade when I got to meet David Cassidy. Yes, I'm old. But I'm still sassy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm...I actually don't think I smell THAT good right now. Ryan did laundry over the weekend and while it was a nice thought, he totally left the wet towels in the washer overnight and then just dried them without rewashing.

      I didn't find this out until after I had tried to dry myself off this morning. Mildew smelling towels are THE WORST.

      Delete
    2. @Lauren: MILDEW TOWELS ARE THE WORST. My husband smelled faintly of mildew at all times before we got married because rewashing never entered his mind.
      @Ruby: LOVE David Cassidy. He's still adorable.

      Delete
    3. Yes. Mildew Towels (especially unexpected ones) = not good, not good at all.

      Delete
  6. Just bring yourself and your smile and say thanks for linking to my blog from yours 'cause I bet she gets sick of the same old Nathan Fillion Twine jokes...

    And Jenny needs no help gathering her alligator army!

    I'm planning on hitting up her Austin or San Antonio date, just for giggles and because I'm like forty minutes from either one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the plan! I'm going to just try to be sensible and say sensible things. And I have a slight fear of taxidermied animals, so I probably will not even attempt to bring one with me.

      Delete
  7. I hear that orange sweatpants are quite the fashion statement. Especially paired with green pool noodles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously RYAN. He doesn't understand fashion AT ALL.

      Delete
  8. I think a taxidermy owl, because I don't think she has one of those. Dress it in something though!

    I'm really jealous! I tried to get things sorted to go, but I can't get the time off just now. Poop. I'll have to stalk her at a blogging convention or something.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I got lucky that she was going to Dallas. Ryan will jump at any opportunity to fly to Dallas. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have made it, because I don't want to go alone and he wouldn't have wanted to go with me.

      Delete
    2. Lady, I will always be your "wingman", if you need one. ;) I can handle adventure... it's the day-to-day real world stuff that trips me up.

      Delete
    3. You've got yourself a deal!

      Let me know when you're going to a blogging conference thingy.

      Delete
  9. A baby metal chicken called Blue Ivy. Also like the Red Dress comment. BTW--I'm reading this book called Your Voice In My Head by Emma Forrest that I think you should totally read. It's a memoir about a girl who suffers a nervous breakdown in her early 20's and a therapist she goes to that changes her life. I swear I can't put it down (also--hope you don't judge me for this book selection but just thought in light of your recent struggles it may help you feel better). Have fun!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ashley! I'll look into the book tonight at home (am on lunch at work right now.)

      Delete
  10. Melody4/16/2012

    I don't know what you should wear or say but you should definitely bring tentacles. She's going to want a whole set so prepare accordingly.

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    1. I'm pretty sure I'll have my tentacles with me, so if she does want one, she can totally have it. Sure, then I'll only have nine, but I think I can deal with that.

      She can NOT have all ten though. I don't care if she is The Bloggess.

      Delete
    2. But if you give ber a TENtacle, then you'll only have nine and they'll be nonacles...

      Delete
    3. So does that mean that the one that I give her will be a MONacle?

      Delete
  11. I wish i could fly to Dallas this weekend! I would so LOVE to get to meet THE BLOGGESS and you,LAUREN!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh meeting The Bloggess is going to be wonderful (she's definitely who inspired me to start my own blog.) But meeting me is really no fun at all.

      If you ever actually want to meet me, just come to Chicago any weekend of your choosing. I promise I will bore you to death with all of my "sitting on the couch" and "thinking about cleaning."

      Delete
    2. ah, yes, but whilst "sitting on the couch" you could tell me about meeting the bloggess and then I'd only be one degree from the bloggess and ZERO degrees from you!

      Delete
    3. Haha, I just read Ryan this comment and he was like "Tell her I have a lot of experience being zero degrees from you and that she should believe you when you tell her it is no fun."

      What a guy.

      Delete
  12. i have some dinosaur finger puppets that i got as a gift. mainly for when i was going through my "i need to make finger puppets constantly" phase. and the phase (that's not really a phase, more like a constant obsession) where i watch jurassic park all the time.


    - s

    www.mehspace.wordpress.com

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    Replies
    1. I can't watch Jurassic Park (because of the night terrors.) But I did read the book like ten years ago.

      And I love a good finger puppet! I actually think I have one of those little plastic monster ones with the long arms in my desk drawer right now.....Yep, definitely do.

      Delete
    2. though i love dinosaurs - i watch j-park mainly for jeff goldblum.

      Delete
    3. Oh yes Jeff Goldblum.

      Did you ever watch Will and Grace?

      I think they described him as a "sexy praying mantis," and I was like "YES, that's what he looks like for sure."

      Delete
  13. I absolutely loooooove dinosaurs. I am trying to convince Simon to take me to London to see the skeletons for my 21st plus 9 birthday. I also live near this place where they find dinosaur fossils and I'm totally going to go and be all discovery myself. I have two dinosaur mugs.

    Next step; we must convince Ryan to bring you to England. Ohhh, we'll make him think it was all his idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No joke my sister's very serious boyfriend/Ryan's BFF is an MMA fighter who fights in England. He was JUST there. Next time he fights I'll convince Ryan that he NEEDS to be there for support. And then he can go to the fight and I will come play archaeologist with you. Win/Win!

      Delete
  14. Well, rats. Now I am doubly-disappointed. I live less than two hours from Dallas and was SO EXCITED about going to see Jenny. Then I realized that is the same night as my kids' end-of-the-year choir concert at school and I can't ditch it. (Though don't think that I didn't try to come up with a thousand different ways to justify it. Third grade choir concert? It's a special kind of hell.) Now I won't get to see you either? Pfft. That stinks.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Haha it totally cracks me up that anyone would want to meet me. Seriously, I'm like no fun at all in person. Just all twitchy and nervous.

      If you're ever in Chicago, let me know. We can get together and like, I don't know, make up a dance routine to a Miley Cyrus song. And you will never read my blog again.

      Delete
    2. Please no Miley Cyrus! I've seen enough Hannah Montana to last my whole life. Besides, I'm old & a dance routine might not end well. Maybe we can just have a nice cocktail or three and make fun of people doing karaoke?

      (also, you can't get rid of me that easy.)(though, I'm not a stalker in the scary sense. I don't have the attention span to stalk someone.)

      Delete
    3. Fine. It's a deal!

      Delete
  15. I'm so jealous that you're going! She's coming to LA on, of course, the only night in like forever and ever that I have anything important to do. I think you should wear a red dress and/or your orange sweats. And definitely get her to sign a boob. And leave a tentacle; it'll be like your calling card. Like Batman. (Didn't Batman have something he left after fighting crime? It'll be like that, except without the sweatiness from crime fighting.) And obviously make Ryan take pictures!!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh I will be making Ryan take so many pictures. And I want to bring a tentacle, but I'm afraid if I do something crazy I'll totally scare her away. So maybe I'll just keep it in my purse...and hope the right moment hits.

      Delete
    2. I think that's a great plan. That way you can pretend you don't have a tentacle with you, in case you think it won't go over, but you won't regret not having a tentacle in case the situation is perfect and calls for one. You never want to regret not having a tentacle with you. (You should totally have that put on a shirt.)

      Delete
    3. Actually, I do usually have a tentacle in my purse. I use it for pointing at important things at work meetings. I'm lucky I work at a company where people appreciate my humor instead of trying to get me committed.

      Delete
  16. I'm so, so jealous! You could ask her why the hell she isn't coming to Buffalo or Rochester because those are totally like, huge cities and all.
    Also, because I am so incredibly classy, I have a shiny gold t-rex in my dining room. Trust me, you can class up anything with gold metallic spray paint and no one will even care that it's a dinosaur.

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    Replies
    1. Hmmmm...I wonder if the same rule applies with little mouse statues and silver spray paint..(I like mice because they like cheese and that means they 'get' me. Ryan thinks I should hate mice because they would probably eat ALL of the cheese if they could, leaving me with no cheese, but Ryan doesn't 'get' me like the mice do.)

      Delete
    2. I'm pretty sure that silver paint is about as classy as gold. You should totally be good there. Mice don't even actually like cheese all that much (http://dlewis.net/nik-archives/mice-dont-like-cheese/) so you should totally be good and Ryan is just wrong. I hope that you still feel that they still 'get' you even after learning that though. Besides, they totally like peanut butter, which although slightly less delicious, is awesome.

      Delete
    3. Well that just blew my mind a little bit.

      I still like mice. Because peanut butter is on my list of my top five favorite spreads. Along with hummus, cream cheese, nutella and this one pesto spread I make.

      Delete
    4. If you're a fan of fluff, I recommend toasted fluff and nutella sandwiches. They're like s'mores. For lunch.

      Delete
    5. Oh sometimes I put fluff on graham crackers with nutella and eat that. SO delicious. Maybe I'll have to start making sandwiches and bringing them to work. I will bring extras and get SO MUCH MORE popular at work.

      Delete
  17. Lauren - I found a link to your blog on Friday From Jenny's site and read it all afternoon and giggled at my desk at your adventures. My boss was out that day, so please make Ryan take you someplace tropical so you can make about 30 more posts before my boss has another day off. I need the steady stream of entertainment - technical support isn't as glamorous and exciting as it sounds.

    I was considering on going to two signings because I live in SA and I will already be in South Florida the week she is there, but I thought that might be too stalky. Then I realized she may be stalking me because I made these plans 6 months ago.

    I think the full size Beyonce living on my front porch (the Chicken not the singer) is teaching me paranoia instead of perspective!

    Have fun in Big D!
    H

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you've found your way over here! I'll do whatever I can to get another tropical vacation planned soon! I can't believe you made it through my archives in one day without going completely insane!

      I wish The Bloggess was stalking me. ::sigh:: My life is so hard.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous4/16/2012

    OHHHHH, I am so excited! I am also going to the signing on the 26th, and if YOU are there too (my other favorite blogger), I will be SO happy to just stand there in starstruck awe and soak up the awesome. I will be the one with the poor husband shaking his head and rolling his eyes (something it sounds like you two are used to, too), but humoring my goofiness was in our vows so he's stuck. YAY! Hope to see you there.

    Paige Hudson Garcia
    from Facebook

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Yay!

      I was hoping I would "know" someone else there that night! If you see me (and manage to recongize me) totally come hang out in line or whatever! I'll be the one with the exasperated Ryan and the tall Indian boy in tow.

      Delete
  19. I'm so jealous! I wanted to go meet her, heck I'M FROM DALLAS, but I couldn't go back down there at that time.

    Gift ideas: Any assortment of taxidermied animals dressed in outrageous people clothes costumes. I'm thinking a turtle in a pirate's outfit, but I don't know how quickly you can find that. Good luck! And you better post photos from meeting her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been looking for a turtle in a pirate's outfit all night, but to no avail.

      I'll have to just bring her a tentacle.

      And I will be posting entirely too many photos, don't you worry.

      Delete
  20. I am completely jealous!!!!!!! I wish I could meet her!

    I think you should wear a Beyonce Chicken Christmas ornament and bring her a taxidermied animal riding its own pool noodle that she gets to keep and carry-on every plane ride. I'd look into taxidermied dinosaurs, but they're prob all in museums or something.

    Have fun!!!

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    Replies
    1. So I've actually found a pool noodle shaped like a tentacle that I'm considering, but I think that's taking it a bit far....

      Delete
  21. Kristin H.4/16/2012

    Now I feel super guilty that I decided not to drive the 20min to NYC tomorrow to meet her. Mann.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh don't feel guilty. Ryan's best friend lives in Dallas and we promised him we'd come at some point anyway, so it's just a two birds with one stone sort of situation.

      Also I'm crazy and creepy.

      Delete
  22. You should tell her that Sam in Denver loves the hell out of her and then you should tell yourself the same thing and then you both should come to Denver so that we can all be BFF 's! Duh! Leave Ryan at home, he's totally a party-pooper!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He really IS a party-pooper isn't he?

      (And thanks.)

      Delete
  23. Anonymous4/16/2012

    my suggestion is one of those as seen on tv, that you can totally get in walgreens, slushy makers and a small bottle of wine so she can have a wine slushy in a cute cup with its own spoon straw all incognito like. wait do you have walgreens over yonder? anyway, if i had the chance to go to one of her book signings, that is what i would do. but since i can't go, i can totally live the experice through you if you decide that is what you are giving. nuff said. hasta pasta!


    Cali Heather

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OH that IS a good idea. Hmmm...

      Delete
  24. oooooo i am sooo jealous! i wish i could stalk her with you, in fact for a second i thought you'd totally been invite to her house (because you're both world famous bloggers and, as such, must be invited everywhere) and i was going to BEG you to take me with you.

    i wonder why she's purposefully avoiding us? she isn't coming anywhere near me either (seattle area). i feel slightly insulted, knowing it's all about me. no seriously, i've proved this - the day the world ends (12/21) is the same day that if i died (hopefully not) i would die at the exact same age as my father. see, the world really is all about me and not at all about anybody else... which is why clearly the world is not ending on 12/21... God is not going to prove me right :-)

    omg - why is my brain broken, i don't even know how i got from jealous to the end of the world...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha I think the only universe that I will ever be invited to her house is the one that exists in my dreams. I am so NOT a world famous blogger.

      And I totally just had to skim the second part of your comment, because for some reason, the whole 12/21 thing FREAKS ME OUT LIKE NO OTHER.

      Delete
  25. Jealous, jealous, jealous. I already spent my vacation money or I would be all over a trip to meet The Bloggess. I did post a lovely picture of a Beyonce mailbox I saw on our recent trip to San Antonio. In other news, I already have a little trip to Chicago in the works for this summer so meeting up for Miley dance routines is quite doable. Hooray!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm not positive, as Ryan actually booked the flights, but I think we're using miles to fly there and then he's trying to convince me to stay with OJ, his best friend. Which would make it a cheap little trip. Except of course I am all like "NO, Fancy hotels!"

      And yay for Chicago in the summer! I love it here then. Let me know if you need any restaurant/activity recommendations or if you just want to ditch the rest of your group and attend a wine tasting with me where I trade you all of my wine for all of your cheese.

      Delete
    2. Since my husband is my whole group, I have no problem ditching him in favor of this wine/cheese transaction. And, my two cents are that Ryan should definitely book fancy hotels! You deserve it after that egg hunt!

      Delete
    3. I totally do deserve it!

      As far as wine/cheese trades go, I'm in!

      Delete
    4. a nony mouse4/18/2012

      BOOO on Fancy Hotels! this OJ person sounds amazing and is clearly handsome for this picture you've posted. I 100% endorse you and your handsome husband staying with OJ and having a glorious trip.

      Delete
    5. Is this you OJ?

      If so I will just say this, as much as Ryan argues that staying with you means fresh warm cinnamon raisan bread in bed in the mornings, I know that staying with you also means a warm Indian boy clambering into my bed in the mornings to snuggle my husband.

      Also, you probably don't have any fancy robes.

      Delete
  26. I'm going to suggest humping her like she's your monkey.

    *that might have gone a bit too far for my first comment. I'm sorry*

    **but I stand by my suggestion**

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha and then getting escorted out by security and then sneaking back in wearing a wig etc etc. And then Ryan refuses to post bail.

      Delete
    2. Once again, Ryan shows himself to be the party pooper.

      Delete
    3. Ugh, dumb Ryan.

      Delete
  27. You may need to pull a Borat and gently place a pillow case over her head... Then convince her that you are married now. And Lead her to your nearby van. Good thing Ryan is going...... Wait.. He DOES have Getaway Car Driving Experience, correct??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm..one time in high school I stole my sisters sunglasses that she said I couldn't wear and then jumped in Ryan's car and yelled "DRIVE!" as she stormed out of the house after me.

      We got away.

      Does that count?

      Delete
    2. I'm gonna go ahead and say Yes. God's speed, Lauren.... God's speed. :o)

      Delete
    3. Thank You Valerie.

      I will let you know how it goes.

      Either that or you will see it on the evening news.

      Pray it's the former.

      Delete
  28. Shannon4/16/2012

    OhmygodIamsojealous.

    I live in FL, so I got ridiiiculously excited when she added a FL stop to her book tour. Then I discovered she's going to Miami, which is a good 7 hours away from me. And I can't take off work that day (May 4) as I'm leaving for vacation on May 8. So, yeah. That's my #firstworldproblem of the day.

    Have fun! I, too, found your blog through Jenny's link and spent all afternoon laughing my ass off. Let's put it this way: If you ever feel the need to recruit evil minions, my name will be first on the list.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Shannon! New readers make my heart sing happy songs. I'll keep you in mind for the minion thing...

      Here's my First World Problem of the day: The restaurant downstairs in my building is OUT OF TINY BOTTLES OF PELLEGRINO. Which I like to drink with a straw while wearing my pink tiara every afternoon at two.

      Delete
  29. YOU and THE BLOGGESS in the SAME PLACE ........ I am so JEALOUS I think I need to drown my sorrows in chocolate

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is seriously making me all squirmy that people are saying they would want to meet ME. I'm a HUGE disappointment in real life, I promise.

      But eat the chocolate anyway. It's always a good time to eat chocolate.

      Delete
  30. I'm gonna be there too! Woooohoooooo! I'll be wearing my Juanita apron. Look for me....or run away.....whichever suits you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh goody!

      I was thinking I wouldn't "know" anyone there!

      If I see you I'll definitely give you a twitchy nervous Hello.

      Delete
  31. I am SO SOO SOSOSOS jealous you are going to meet Jenny (<<<acting like we're bff)!! Don't take her non-responses personally..I comment and tweet at her all the time and never get a response. I think she just has too many followers to really be able to answer everyone! One of these days maybe...

    Anyways, I recommend you bring her something like a taxidermied parrot that she can use as a container could drink margaritas. Or possibly a cat hoody for posy (I tweeted the website to here where she could find them for herself but alas :(. )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha yes, I tweet her every now and again to no avail.

      She did send me an email once though, which was probably the greatest day of my life. (FINE, excluding my wedding day RYAN.)

      Also, taxidermic things scare me but for some reason I now want a taxidermied parrot. Especially one that is filled with drinks.

      Delete
  32. I am in a terrible mood! Mostly because I do not get to meet the both of you, at the same time, in the same city, but partly because I will be in Kansas City that weekend for work. #shudder

    Jenny needs a taxidermied peacock with a fascinator on it's head. Reason #1 Who has a taxidermied peacock wearing a fascinator? NO ONE! That equals totally awesome present! Reason #2 Fascinators are all the rage right now, everyone in England wears them! Reason #3 Taxidermied peacock = interesting conversation starter. "Why yes, I do own a taxidermied peacock wearing an English fascinator, doesn't everyone?" or "What color/style fascinator is YOUR taxidermied peacock wearing?" Then you can start a peacock fascinator trading system online for all your taxidermied peacocks and of course Jenny would become your new best friend! It's win-win!

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    Replies
    1. OMG I have a fascinator. And with some slight tweaking it would probably fit on the head of a peacock. I will use my small dogs for head models until I find a taxidermied peacock.

      Also, it's super sweet and a little overwhelming that people seem to want to meet me? I'm no Jenny Lawson, not by a long shot. But thank you for letting me pretend I could be for even a couple of minutes.

      Delete
  33. You should take her a taxidermied mouse wearing a red ball gown.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fine, that's what I'll do.

      It'll probably be on the cover of her next book.

      Delete
  34. Elizabeth (Ottawa)4/18/2012

    AMAZING! You remind me SO much of her. Love both of you.

    You should bring her a dinosaur dressed in human clothes if you cant find something that's taxidermied fast enough;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Elizabeth! That's a huge compliment!

      Oh yes, tiny human clothes. She does like those too. Hmmm..

      Delete
  35. Oh I wish I could go! We should send a complaint to whoever set up the tour...New York and Los Angeles, yep...going there...but no Chicago or Las Vegas!!!! Do they think we don't read in these cities?!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right?

      These are BIG cities! I would be even madder if the current book tour didn't mean that I get to take two days off of work to fly somewhere else.

      Delete
  36. You have a very similar writing style to The Bloggess, it's great! Not to make you jealous, but I live in NYC and I got to meet her last night and she was wonderful! (No word on whether she and I are best friends for life yet, you and I should keep each other posted on our respective BFF statuses with her.)

    I wanted to ask her to sign my boobs, but my anxiety overpowered that idea. Instead, I had her sign my anti-anxiety medication bottle. She likes drugs!
    Maybe you should wear a red dress with xanax sewn into it! And then ask her to sign your boobs. Best friends for life accomplished! You're welcome. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Really big compliment!

      I am SO jealous. I still have a whole week. I will totally let you know how the BFF thing works out. I'm really hopeful at this point.

      Ryan says he's not going with me if he finds a sharpie in my purse (for boob signing purposes) but whatever, I'm just going to hide the sharpie in my bra.

      He's going to be SO surprised and aggravated.

      Delete
  37. No, no, no... Houston > Dallas, and two days earlier. You could totally stay at my place, where we can sit on the couch and contemplate cleaning together. Oh wow, that's weird, huh? Nevermind, we're all going to meet a blogger who travels with taxidermied weasels. The offer stands.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha I would love to come to Houston and meet a reader but Dallas is the home of my husband's BFF and really that's the only reason I was able to finagle this trip into happening.

      But totally come stay at our fancy hotel with us in Dallas. There will probably be lots of room service and soft robes.

      That...sounded really creepy.

      Delete
  38. omg ! congrats! ahhhhhhhhhhh hahaha :P lucky, im flying nowhere but home. gotta go back and see the famjaam

    LET US KNOW HOW IT GOES OK?

    come on man, your link is ON jenny's page. that's how i found you in the first place anyway. so in my opinion, you guys are already friends. thee meeting will be like. BAM. INSTANT BEST FRIENDS.

    have fun girl!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. INSTANT BEST FRIENDS

      Oh I really really hope so.

      And don't worry, I'll probably talk entirely too much about the meeting on the blog in the coming weeks.

      Delete
  39. Theresa4/19/2012

    I am SO jealous. You should definitely have a t-shirt made:

    "'Lauren Filing Jointly' flew in to meet 'The Bloggess'
    & Ryan STILL hasn't bought rubies so I bought myself this t-shirt"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fine, doing it.

      I'll have to hide it under my regular clothes though because Ryan doesn't go out in public with me when I'm wearing things that are 'ridiculous'.

      Delete
  40. I love this so much. I'm glad I clicked on the link from TheBloggess page. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you did too!

      Delete
  41. Okay everyone above, listen up! I'm shocked that everyone keeps telling Lauren to bring Jenny something taxidermied.
    You have to bring her something that represents you.
    You also want to seem uber classy, right?
    You see where I'm going with this don't you...?
    There can only be one or two choices.
    A bust of Ryan's head made out of string cheese OR
    If you're feeling really artsy and want to show everyone up, Ryans head made out of string cheese with RUBIES FOR EYES!1
    That just screams...um, well it screams something.
    Unless I'm hearing her screaming for security takes you away.
    Good luck and have fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How did I miss this comment before?!

      I totally would have given her the cheese bust thing except knowing me, by the time I got to her it would be missing an ear or two and there would be mysterious bit marks on the back of the head.

      Delete
  42. 1. Bring her something taxidermied. In clothes (both you and the taxidermied thing).
    2. Wear a red dress!
    3. Say anything. She's going to be super excited that you came.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wanted to wear a red dress but alas, no red dresses in my closet and Ryan has put an embargo on clothes purchasing because he is mean.

      Delete

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