Just had this conversation with someone at work.
L: So I need to take Thursday and Friday off next week if possible.
Someone: That's probably fine, I'll check forecasting and see what we're expecting to happen those days. Why do you need them off?
L: I am flying to Dallas.
S: Some sort of dinosaur convention?
L: What? Why the heck?
S: You have like four dinosaurs on your desk, I just assumed you loved them.
L: I do NOT have four dinosaurs on my desk, TWO tops.
S: Shall we go count?
L: Yesssss....But first I need to run to my desk and make sure there aren't four dinosaurs on it and if there are then I need time to hide two really quickly.
S: You have the pink triceratops.
L: Yes, Pinky. She makes realistic roaring noises.
S: Of course she does. And then you have the new green T-Rex that you got in your Easter Basket. Whose name I can now only assume is Greeny.
L: It is NOT. That would be stupid.
S: What's its name?
L: (**thinking SHIT it's totally Greeny**) Umm Roger or something, I don't remember.
S: Ok. And then you have the tiny wind-up dinosaur.
L: Crap. That's true. But that's it. Not FOUR. Three.
S: True. Three three-dimensional dinosaurs. But now, if we're also counting stickers...
L: **whispers** five
So yeah. Turns out I have a secret love of all things dinosaur.
But I am NOT flying to Dallas for a dinosaur convention (this time.) I am flying there to meet Jenny Lawson!! That's right. Shes' not coming to Chicago on her book tour, so I am going to her home state because I am a total creepy stalker.
I have both tweeted her and left a comment on her most recent blog entry to let her know.
She has not responded.
Because I am a total creepy stalker.
My husband thinks I am totally bonkers.
Lauren: The Bloggess is not coming to Chicago on her book tour. I think I need to fly to another city to meet her.
Ryan: That's going a little overboard don't you think?
Lauren: Probably. But when have I ever gone underboard?
Ryan: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Underboard isn't even a word.
Lauren: You're just upset you didn't make it up aren't you. (Remember how he makes up words?)
Ryan: Maybe a little.
Lauren: So you'll come with me?
Ryan: Definitely not.
Lauren: But I neeeed you for support. (And to carry-on my pool noodle.)
Ryan: Still no.
Lauren: She's going to Dallas.
Ryan: I have changed my mind. I will accompany you to Dallas.
|Guess who lives in Dallas?|
Lauren: You are so easily manipulated. I am totally the boss of this marriage.
Ryan: Please LAUREN. I got you to promise to never call me "Ry-Ry" again and to swear that you would stop wearing your orange sweatpants out of the house just by buying you a three month membership to the cheese of the month club.
Lauren: Yes but what you didn't know is that my orange sweatpants had developed a hole in an indecent place making them suddenly unsuitable to wear out of the house. AND I had a backup nickname at the ready.
Ryan: They were always unsuitable to wear out of the house. And I've asked you to stop calling me THAT as well. (**puts head in hands and mutters "how did this even happen to me"**)
Lauren: It was luck. You lucked out. Marriage jackpot! FOREVER. I love you Monkey.
Lauren: **gives Ryan hug** Ohhh I've always wanted to hold a monkey.
Ryan: Get OFF of me.
So yeah, on April 26th I get to meet The Bloggess. And probably become her best friend in the entire world. Now I just need to figure out what to wear and what to bring her and what to say.
Suggestions are totally welcome.