I've been sort of at a loss for posting ideas lately. Which makes total sense seeing as how I've been blogging for the astronomically long period of time that is ten whole months.
Well actually...I've been blogging a bit longer than that. Because I had a different blog I kept while Ryan and I were engaged and planning our wedding. And most of you wouldn't have read any of those posts since I didn't "know" you yet and thus you weren't invited to my wedding/given the wedding website address which housed the silly blog.
Sidenote: If Ryan and I ever decide to do something lame like renew our vows and shit then you're all totally invited. And for once I will have more guests on my side and some of Ryan's friends won't have to sit on my side out of what Ryan says is "pity" and what I say is "secretly liking me better."
But moving on, I have decided to share with you the posts I wrote starting from when we got engaged and leading up to our wedding day. It's not all wedding crap I promise. And the parts of it that are wedding crap are mostly the retellings of the ways Ryan almost ruined the wedding.
Hope you enjoy! Please keep in mind that I was younger and even more ridiculous and not a very good writer AT ALL when I posted these. They are a much less polished version of my current posts. If you're new here you might want to take a look at some of my popular posts (on the sidebar) before you read this entry. It could scare you away.
Also, this entry ended up being like REALLY REALLY long. So please feel free to skip entirely or to read it in portions over the next year or so. Also, the spacing is weird...and I am too lazy to fix it.
June 11th, 2010
One day Lauren decided that she was tired of dealing with Ryan and his stupid cold feet and so she told him to stop being such a boy and maybe consider being a man and finally just ask her to marry him because if she had to go to one more wedding where she was not the bride very bad things were going to happen to Ryan. Lauren got her way of course, she always does.
One bright Saturday morning in late March, Ryan made Lauren get up early, which she did not appreciate. She forgave him when he took her to get pancakes. She got mad again when he answered his phone at the table. She forgave him when her sister called a little later and she answered her phone at the table. She got mad again when they heard the song “All the Single Ladies” on the radio on the way back from breakfast and remembered that she wasn’t engaged. She remained mad until she got engaged.
But anyway, Lauren’s sister Jordan (who is the Maid of Honor) had called to ask if Lauren wanted to go shopping. She did of course. So Jordan came to the city and took Lauren shopping and persuaded her to buy a new outfit. It might not have taken too much persuasion. It might have been Lauren’s idea to buy a new outfit in the first place. Lauren might have bought more than just that outfit. But if Ryan asks, she’s had that dress for years; she just doesn’t wear it very much.
While Lauren and Jordan were shopping Ryan was making plans. The call he had so rudely answered at breakfast was someone letting him know he could pick up the engagement ring. So he had to do that. He also needed to get a haircut, make dinner reservations and buy tickets to go see Beauty and the Beast – which is Lauren’s favorite musical of all time. Ryan prefers Billy Elliot. Oh, and he took the dogs to get haircuts – (I don’t think this had anything to do with the proposal stuff – I think they probably just needed haircuts.)
So Jordan finally brings Lauren home, maybe a little later than Ryan had hoped, maybe a little later than Ryan had told Jordan to get Lauren home when he asked Jordan earlier in the day to come downtown and keep Lauren busy. So Lauren had to rush around like a crazy person getting ready for dinner. It was fine though, she still looked awesome.
After Ryan proposed and Lauren said yes, they had to cancel dinner because they were pretty late as it was and Lauren had to call everyone she knows. It was fine though, because there were things that needed to be done immediately – like take pictures of the ring and text them to Lauren’s sisters. And then it was time to leave for the show. Which they did not end up seeing because Ryan had accidentally bought tickets for the matinee and not the later performance and the later performance was sold out. It was fine though, because there was a bar next door to the theater. So after a drink there, more ring pictures and phone calls, they headed home and drank champagne out of glasses that say “2009” on them. It was fine though, because Lauren remembered that now that she was finally getting married, she got to register for things like champagne flutes.
Then Jordan and her boyfriend Jake came back downtown and everyone went to a bar and met up with lots of Ryan and Lauren’s friends. And everyone bought Lauren and Ryan shots of Jack Daniels. Which was NOT FINE because they had never eaten dinner and they had already had champagne. Lauren is pretty sure a good time was had by all. And when Lauren woke up the next morning, she was still engaged and it hadn’t all just been the worst joke of a dream ever. That honor still goes to the one time she had a dream that she was a really great singer and had like a huge boxful of puppies to roll around in while she sang beautiful songs. True Story.
So that’s the engagement as Lauren remembers it. Ryan would probably make some small changes. But that’s too bad, because this is not his blog and artistic license does in fact mean that she can just “totally fabricate huge details.”
More later! I know you’re excited
But on to a more important thing – a story about me and how I was awarded the game ball at Softball last week and how if there was such a thing as being awarded the opposite of the game ball that honor would have gone to Ryan.
Anyway, we (let’s call us The Cubs) ended up winning the game 10-9, no thanks to my “amazing” fiancé. If you sort of don’t believe that this story is entirely faithful – take this as proof – after the game when we all got in line Little-League-style and slapped each other’s hands and said “good game”, a number of people on the other team said “good pitching” to me instead of “good game” and NO ONE said that to Ryan. I’m pretty sure someone even said “bad pitching” to him. And it doesn’t matter if that person was me, it still happened.
And then my team gave me the game ball and hoisted me onto their shoulders and carried me to the car singing “Go Cubs Go” the entire way.
And then I drank a 32oz bloody mary and went home and iced my shoulder.
Wish me luck this week! (Although who needs luck when you have skillz.)
Sidenote to Ryan: Today is the 9
Puts commas after most address components