Winner Winner Cheese For Dinner Because Ryan Is Not Home

So I know I promised a giveaway winner today and I'm about to announce who will be the lucky recipient of a small box of "Stop Bringing These Things Into My Home" in Ryan's words.

But first I wanted to mention that this blog finally has its own Facebook page, yo.

I currently have zero friends because Ryan refuses to be a friend of my blog because he thinks my blog is ridiculous, which it is of course, so whatever RYAN.

Please be my friends blogstalkers.  I'm feeling quite pathetic at the moment.  You should be able to follow the link above, if not you can search for me as "Lauren Filing Jointly" and not as "Half A Sack of Monkeys Past Certifiably Insane" as SOMEONE in this home suggested.

Also, who would ever want just half a sack of monkeys?  Full sack for me please.

But anyway the winner, as determined by a random number generator shown below, is Stefanie.

So Stefanie, please send all your addressy details to LaurenRaeGallagher@gmail.com and I will attempt to get your prize sent out in a timely fashion.

Please no hate mail from the rest of you.

I wish anyone who is not Stefanie better luck next time, and I actually mean that, I'm not just saying it to be nice.  

I'd make a really good Facebook friend.



Enter a number:

Result:
02

66 comments:

  1. Aw, I'm sad I didn't win, but there's always next time. I hope my letter convinced Ryan to buy you gems at the very least!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It did not. Ryan is such a goober.

      Delete
  2. I'm a new reader, but I love your blog. ^_^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I would say "and I love you" but that would be weird. But I do, just so you know. Unless you think that's weird, then I don't.

      Delete
  3. Half a sack of monkeys seems remarkably similar to glass half empty...

    What DID Ryan get you for Valentine's Day? Nosy people (me) want to know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously, HALF a sack of monkeys Ryan? You don't get me at all.

      And Ryan was a very good boy yesterday. He got me a very nice card and a Starbucks gift card so I stop using his credit card every single day to buy Starbucks.

      I Love that man.

      Delete
  4. I just found your blog and I love it! You make me laugh and I think you are awesome!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think YOU are awesome.

      Also, some of my readers have started a 'Lauren' club. There were 3.5 of us and now there are 4.5.

      The .5 is because one of the members just has the name Lauren for her middle name.

      Poor girl.

      So, Other Lauren, Lauren Marie, and Cam, meet Lauren Michelle.

      Delete
    2. My middle name is Lauren too! Does that mean I can be the other 0.5???

      Delete
    3. Yes. It totally does.

      Delete
    4. Also, growing up two of my very best friends were named Lauren. It was a little weird but totally awesome.

      Delete
    5. Growing up I had a friend named Lauren as well.

      And in fifth grade our teacher asked us if one of us wanted to be called a nickname of some sort instead, to avoid confusion.

      We both said no, and were just Lauren L and Lauren M (my maiden name) from that day forward.

      I will always regret not coming up with a really awesome nickname for myself. How often in life does one get to do that?

      Delete
  5. I feel the need to comment just because you deserve lots of comments even when you don't give things away :)
    And just to let you know, your posts have become the bright spot in my day, along with The Bloggess of course who led me to you.
    Have a lovely Thursday!!!!
    Will send you pics of the cupcake scarf when it looks more like a cupcake scarf...right now its mostly in pieces

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's an honor to even be mentioned in the same sentence as Jenny Lawson. Love that woman.

      There should be so so many more cupcake scarves in this world. It's so nice to meet someone else that gets it.

      Have a lovely Thursday and thanks for the comment :)

      Delete
  6. Dang my bad luck, but congrats to the winner. I'll just have to try like a steer to win the next batch of awesomeness you pass along. Yay for finally having the Facebook page...friend request has been sent! Whoop whoop!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So your comment totally got spammed at first. Sorry about that. Boo spam filter.

      Good luck on the next giveaway (April 7th-ish)!

      And thanks for being my Facebook friend. I was very friendless for a moment there.

      Delete
  7. Fiddle sticks! I tried to cheat and be two people by friending you with my personal page and then my crafts page. Unfortunately the craft page is obviously a social outcast who is not allowed to friend request people and only allowed to 'like' from afar. Apparently I'm not allowed to make the first move and people have to like me first. Social interactions are so mean. It's like waiting to get picked in P.E all over again. Blast!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the attempt! My new FB page really was a sad piece of work there for a couple of hours. I actually friended myself (my personal page)in a moment of extreme pathetic-ness.

      Also, I want to see your crafts page - how do I find it?

      I used to fake sick almost every single day in PE so I could sit on the sidelines and read my book. Until my dad found out about that. Then I had to "participate in SOMETHING and make some friends for gods sake."

      Delete
    2. http://www.facebook.com/OhAbigailCrafts

      I think.

      This'll probably go to your spam filter! Hah! I have a minimal number of likers on it so far. I became a fan of myself. I think that's worse than friending yourself because a 'fan' is idolising and a 'friend' is just plain nice!

      I remember trying to forget my PE kit more than once so I could sit with a book...then you had to do it in your knickers. :(

      Delete
    3. I promise I'll become a fan when I get home, can't see FB at work. I actually am a big fan of your work though. I really need you to etch me some wine glasses saying something completely ridiculous.

      Delete
  8. Just found your blog and have been completely unproductive at work the past few days as I've frantically read through your archives. I also have a thing for cheese, but as an ex-pat (live in London), I have to import the orangey fake kind because I cannot find it here (silly Europeans). Is it odd that my suitcases post-Christmas heave with Cheetos, Velveeta and Kraft mac 'n' cheese? Absolutely not. Simply practical. And come a nuclear winter, they will be *begging* me for the spray can cheese with Bacos.

    I digress. Love the blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very practical. Totally get it.

      Also, as a fellow Velveetite, I want to just put the offer out there, that if you are ever in a bad spot, with no cheese and no way to get cheese, I will most assuredly send you some. Just let me know.

      Delete
  9. drbubbles2/16/2012

    In my grad-school advisor's lab there was a walk-in freezer. In the walk-in freezer was a big garbage bag, obviously full of things. On the garbage bag was a label that said "frozen monkeys."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the first time I have ever thought that I possibly married the wrong person.

      Because either your grad-school advisor actually had a bag of frozen monkeys (if we unfroze them do you think they'd come alive again a la the movie Encino Man starring Brenden Fraser?)or he/she had like the best sense of humor ever (I think this is more probable, but I'm really pulling for the bag actually being full of monkeys.)

      Imagine, an actual sack full of monkeys.

      Not HALF full RYAN. How ridiculous.

      Delete
    2. drbubbles2/17/2012

      I'm pretty sure it was actually monkeys. (For a moment I wondered why I never checked, but then I remembered that what made the sack full of monkeys memorable was the "sack full" part way more than the "of monkeys" part.) It was an anthropology dept. with a couple of primate-evolution researchers. Which is also why Encino Man is lucky he was found by Pauly Shore and that other guy. If he'd been in our freezer he would have ended up as bones in a drawer.

      Delete
    3. That is...so amazing.

      And that other guy is totally Sean Astin, star of Goonies (and Lord of the Rings.)

      Can you believe Encino Man was released 20 years ago already?

      ::sigh:: an actual sack full of monkeys.

      Delete
  10. I sent a friend request . . . but you might find yourself overwhelmed with ridiculous posts about my son's feats of daring on the slopes if you aren't careful. Maybe you could set up your blog FB as a one that we should "like" so we get notification when you post on it but you aren't blasted by us.

    Unless you want that, of course, and by that I mean I hope you enjoy looking at my adorable grandaughter, Arabella, and her lovely set of Phillies gear :).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I debated doing that when I set the account up yesterday, but I'm kind of interested in the lives of the people that read my blog. Because I am a giant creepy stalker.

      So I'm going with it for now. Could change in the future.

      And I love adorable children, so I probably will enjoy the pictures.

      Thanks for friending me!

      Delete
  11. Anonymous2/16/2012

    Is this s neaky way of putting names to your blogstalkers?

    Alas, I am not friending your FB page since I can't even think of a fake name to comment here.

    xoxo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know so many people's last names now. It's very weird.

      But basically what happened was this:

      My fancy blog redesign features a facebook button and I was like, oh shit, that should probably link to something right?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2/16/2012

      I think I am worried that you are building a Lauren army.

      My name is not Lauren. So I am jeal (jeal = only a little jealous so you don't spell out the whole word) that I don't get to be part of the army.

      You can share in my joy of finding Stilton cheese in the office fridge. I thought I ate all of it last week.

      xoxo!

      Delete
    3. Haha a Lauren army.

      Like the next time someone says "Oh yeah, you and what army?" I can be like "THIS army" and then a bunch of ridiculous girls in homemade teeshirts will flounce out from behind me.

      I'm so happy for you regarding the cheese.

      Delete
  12. Anonymous2/16/2012

    Thank you! I had a longer, wittier comment but technology is NOT my friend so I'm gonna keep this short and sweet and just say thanks again. This made a super crappy day super awesome! =)
    ~Stefanie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anytime!!

      Please don't defriend me and stop reading my blog after you receive this package.

      Delete
  13. I just spent my entire work day (ok not ENTIRE, but probably from around 8am-now)reading youre blog from the first entry to here. AMAZING. And also, I may have done a few work related things in between. Sorry for lying. But I didn't do much, so not really. I saw the link to your blog from www.theblogess.com, you guys are quite similar and both HILARIOUS.

    Thanks for making me laugh. Also, I looove your wedding pictures.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a LOT of ridiculousness to ingest in like four hours. Please don't judge me too harshly.

      Also, Jenny The Bloggess Lawson is one of my favorite people on this planet. Being compared to her in any way absolutely makes my day. So thanks, wow.

      I love my wedding pictures too, but I'm slightly biased.

      Off to continue being amazing and hilarious. Ha.

      Delete
  14. welcome to the latest members of the lauren club, lauren*michelle and ashley (the other .5 member... super cool, by the way). even though i only represent a measly .5 member of the club, i have decided we should get shirts. you know, to make things more club-like and official. because once you have shirts, you're legit.

    lauren, you have been friended on facebook... this news, in fact, softened the blow from the fact i didn't win the giveaway. you. are. a. smart. lady. (btw when you get the friend request from me, it will say camille. i only let cool people call me cam ;) )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First, I'm calling you cam whether you like it or not. (Is that ok?)

      Second, what should our shirts say?

      The most wonderful thing about Laurens
      Is Laurens are wonderful things.
      Their tops show lots of cleavage (have you seen my fb picture?)
      Their bottoms are made of cheese (just mine then?)

      etc?

      Delete
    2. of course, girl, you're in the lauren club... you're president of the lauren club. AND you're WAY cool. i wouldn't have read your blog from start to finish if you weren't. so you can definitely call me cam :)

      i love what you've got so far for the shirts... i'll think of some more ideas and get back to you!

      Delete
    3. Ok then Cam.

      I really am going to make at least myself a shirt.

      Because once I have any wild scheme in my head I find it very difficult not to go through with it.

      Delete
  15. I friended you on Facebook! Yay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Accepted. Yay!

      Delete
    2. I feel this makes us one step closer to being friends, not just friends in my head. :)

      Delete
    3. OH We're friends alright.

      Delete
  16. DAGNABBIT!
    Because my office has blocked the use of Facebook (and in fact, the company has created an internal bastard program mixed of FB, Twitter, and LinkedIn for us to use instead... but I digress) I'm trying to be a facebook hack ninja and friend you using my iPhone.

    Alas, the piddly FB App search option isn't finding 'Lauren Filing Jointly'(or any combination of the aforementioned) very easily. :( Perhaps my ninja skills need sharpening.

    Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know that I've put some effort in, and will try again at home when I can get my hands on my trusty iPad. Expect a friend request from KT Couture in the very near future!

    Love your blog! :)
    KT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally ok. I can't see FB at work either and have rather spotty cellular service so I probably won't be much on facebook until I get home.

      So you're not missing anything.

      Looking forward to the friend request!

      Thanks for Reading!

      Also, did you know that there are no such things as automatic doors - just gentlemen ninjas? (you probably did know that)

      Delete
  17. Who would ever want a half-sack of monkeys?

    This guy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you are saying that you would take half of a sack of monkeys over a full sack then that is just crazy.

      If you are saying that if the only thing available was a half sack of monkey, you would accept it - then I agree wholeheartedly.

      Always go with the greatest amount of monkeys possible. It's my mantra.

      Delete
    2. After having 1 monkey, I'm not sure how many more I can handle. A full sack? Oh my, that's a lot of monkeys.

      Delete
    3. HOLD THE PHONE

      Are you telling me that you have/had a monkey?

      I am so jealous and have so many questions.

      I haven't even touched a monkey. The wild ones on my honeymoon kept running away from me for some reason.

      Delete
    4. Oh yes, let me tell you all about it.

      Since acquiring this monkey, my entire house has turned into a jungle gym. Couches, chairs, and beds are just platforms to be jumped on. Food gets half-eaten and dropped wherever it may. Noise... Don't even get me started on the noise. It never ends!

      But geez, it's all worth it at the end of the day when he finally closes his eyes and falls asleep. I don't know whether to watch him or prepare the house for the next day of his shenanigans.

      Delete
    5. Ohhh a monkeychild. I'm a little slow on the uptake today apparently.

      I don't have one of those either. Boo.

      I have touched one though. And then it vomited on me.

      Delete
  18. So I've been lurking here a while since finding you via The Divine Ms Lawson and I have to say, your blog has been added to my nightly "Let the Wackiness of the Interwebs Bring You Joy" ritual. I think my fave may have been your description of Ryan chanting quietly to himself in anticipation of your P&P marathon. And the items you sent to the first winner?? {{Swoon}} I quit FB a while back because I was sick of having to figure out the Big Brother privacy controls every time Mark Zuckerberg's whims changed, so I can't friend you. Wanna be friends anyway? I'll keep reading and you keep writing funny shit. Fair enough? Oh, and I TOTALLY thought @Sedge was talking about an actual monkey, too. That whole "sackful of monkeys" bit reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Tom Robbins' "Still Life with Woodpecker:" [The red typewriter was] as ruddy and indiscreet as a plastic sackful of hickeys." Vivid, no?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenny Lawson IS divine isn't she? LOVE HER.

      So happy you've added me to your rotation. Definitely enter the next giveaway (around April 7th) so I can hopefully send you something ridiculous.

      And let's totally be friends. Ryan's always telling me I need to get some more friends.

      And..that quote just made me giggle. And Ryan was like "What?..actually don't tell me if it's blog things." But then I told him anyway and he didn't get it. Because he is no fun whatsoever.

      Delete
  19. You get that mustache from your dad's side.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well hello MOTHER. I assume you meant to leave this comment on the post in which I rewrote Ryan's vows?

      Delete
  20. I just got so excited that I had two to read. I got sloppy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! I'm getting MUCH better at updating yes?

      Also, Ryan was really upset about not getting to eat Italian Sausage for dinner tonight. Like seriously upset.

      Delete
  21. Anonymous2/16/2012

    I have a horrifically boring job and so I spend a lot of time online (unbeknownst to my boss :D) and your blog is my favorite you're hilarious :) it keeps me from dying of boredom so thank youuuuu!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG you're totally welcome. I know how the boring job thing goes. I super like my job now, but my last one was a complete mess.

      Thank Youuuuu for reading. Seriously.

      Delete
  22. Anonymous2/17/2012

    I randomly check your blog when I'm bored at work..found it through Ms. Lawson. You make me laugh out loud girl! Is it weird that I requested friendship on FB?..cause now I feeel like a blogstalker! But truly it's a nice break in the day. Keep it up. Take Care.
    -Sara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not weird at all!! It's like the most fun thing in the entire world to see what lovely people are reading my blog.

      And I WILL keep it up thank you. I'm NEVER going to stop. Not even when people are sick of me.

      Delete
  23. hate mail hate mail hate mail hate mail hate mail
    hate mail hate mail hate mail hate mail


    (just kidding)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yesssss!!

      My very first hate mail.

      Delete
  24. I'm a quiet stalker but I'm going to add you as a friend :) I found you from Jenny the Bloggess. I have family in Chicago...I'm hoping to be up there for a long weekend at the end of August!

    Vicki

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Chicago in the summer is just such a delight! If you need to know where to find the very best cupcake in the city, let me know.

      Friend Request Accepted!

      Delete

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