I'm One Step Closer to Marrying Justin Timberlake. Next Step - Actually Meeting Him. There Are A Lot Of Steps.

Good Morning Blogstalkers!!

So this isn't even a real post (look for one of those disasters either this afternoon or tomorrow morning) but I wanted to share something that makes my little heart sing.

My lovely talented reader Kat, whom I don't even know in real life, but who is clearly super amazing, sent me this last night.

And then I printed it out and put it in a frame and placed it on my nightstand (no joke.)

And then Ryan was like "Are you kidding me?"

And I was all "Can I make this better by promising you that when I'm married to Justin Timberlake I'll keep a photo of you and I by the bed?"

And he was like "Normal people don't have to deal with situations like this."

But anyway.

We're bringing sexy back.  Can you tell?



I sent a copy of this to Justin Timberlake as proof that we look amazing together.  As with my other emails, he's waiting  to reply until he has time to craft a response that will do my somewhat lenghtly missive justice.

Now must go.  I have to figure out how to print a copy of this at work so I can frame it there as well and prove all of my coworkers wrong when they continue to repeat "We know you don't actually play raquetball and drink Pellegrino with Justin Timberlake on the weekends."

Oh yes I do coworkers.  Yes I Do.

If anyone else wants to photoshop send me copies of pictures that I already own because they were taken on my camera of myself and various celebrities, go right ahead.  I will print them all out and keep them on my desk at work right next to my assortment of small wind-up creatures (I hold races on slow afternoons.) 

I am going to be SO much more popular at work.

Oh and if you like crafty giveaways, check out Abi's blog sometime before March 15th.  I don't know Abi in real life either and she's not forcing me with money or prizes to post this in any way, she's just very crafty and hilarious - As proven by her comment on my last post.

(I'm totally going to start posting my favorite comment at the bottom of each new post..you all are some serious cotton-headed-ninny-mugginses and I love it.)

I am a bugger to wake when I have a night terror and I scratch, bite, punch, flail! One of the first times my then boyfriend saw me have a night terror he assumed I was awake due to my eyes being open. He dropped his guard and apparently I just looked at him and punched him hard on the nose. HE STILL MARRIED ME. Now he knows if my eyes are open and I look like I'm conversing with him I'm probably still asleep.

One time, on a not so 'terror' sleep walk (we had just moved into our new house and it was empty) he woke to hear banging in one of the spare bedrooms. He went in search of the noise which turned out to be me banging the floor with a hard soled shoe. I told him I was busy building an ark so he shouldn't get in the way unless he could 'pass me that plank over there'.

Oh, and another time, one of his friends needed a place to stay for a few weeks and one night he came home and sat downstairs to watch tv (we were asleep). I sleptwalked out of the room yelling at Simon that I was going downstairs to kill the giant snake (which turned out to be his friend). His friend actually had to get in on the act and had to yell up the stairs 'I'm a snake but I'm leaving now' and open the front door and shut it again, pretending to go outside. He moved out pretty sharpish after that...or maybe it was the fact I organised his wardrobe into sleeve-length order on my day off once.


21 comments:

  1. The fact that I made your husband's life just a little bit weirder... has made my entire day, you don't even know :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poor beleaguered Ryan.

      Thanks so much! I LOVE it.

      Delete
  2. So, I've actually met Justin Timberlake. It was on the day I got engaged, and every time I tell the how Rick asked me to marry me story, I generally stop at, "And then I said yes." But Rick makes sure to put in, "But you're not telling them the best part! About how we met Justin Timberlake afterwards!" Yes, because the best part of our engagement story is meeting Justin Timberlake, not the part about how we decided to spend the rest of our lives together. Men.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GASP How? Where? Why? When?

      Did you touch his bicep? What did he smell like? Was his voice everything you'd always imagined it would be?

      Delete
    2. Because my fiancee has a rich friend we were able to meet him before a benefit concert in Las Vegas aaand since it was the day I was engaged I will never forget (October 23, 2010). Didn't get to touch him and don't specifically remember how he smelled, but his voice was amazing and he sang a few songs (I got friends in low places? I don't know the title) and it was really cool. Rick and I also looked freaking amazing. As soon as I can get it scanned in, I can send the picture of me, Rick and like 6 other adoring fans with him.

      Delete
    3. So nice to hear that his voice is as melodious in real life as it is in my head.

      So Jealous!

      The only celebrity I've ever met is Bob Sagat. And we didn't so much 'meet' as 'happen to share a revolving door.' Was I banging on the glass and shouting "Bob!" you ask? Yes. I was.

      Delete
  3. Ohmigosh! When I was younger I loved Insane Clown Posse (don't judge me) and a friend from work Photoshopped me into a pic with each of them, which I kept in a double frame with hearts on it. And after seeing that proudly displayed in my living room, my husband still married me. I want to go dig them out of the box in the garage and put them on my nightstand...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. Do it. It's important to be ridiculous sometimes.

      Delete
  4. The other members of my family stared at me strangely when I started guffawing after reading this post. Poor Ryan. Maybe you should point out that Justin wouldn't make you tell people you're on a three-year plan and instead would have given you like 6 babies by this point.

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    Replies
    1. At LEAST 6 babies probably. And they would all be beautiful little curly-haired things that could harmonize their cute little baby butts off.

      Delete
    2. Probably. That would be pretty cute I guess.

      Delete
    3. Justin Timberlake can't do things in an uncute way, clearly.

      Delete
  5. Breane2/28/2012

    I once stayed in a hotel with Justin Timberlake. Actually it was all of N*Sync. Ok, so maybe they were technically in the room above me, but they did wave from their balcony. Of course by the next morning I hated all boy bands, because I didnt sleep due to the rabid fans screaming all night and the bar across the street playing Backstreet Boys songs all night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So want to hear something funny? My love for JT is fairly new. I was never a boy band person. That was my little sister. She had that shit on lockdown.

      So if back in the day someone told me they knew what hotel Justin was staying at. I'd be like "big whoop." But if someone told me that now I'd rush home and put on my push-up bra and some fake eyelashes and be at that hotel in minutes.

      Delete
    2. Breane2/28/2012

      I'd totally do that for my favorite celeb. I got to meet my favorite race car driver a couple of years ago. My boyfriend took me to the meet and greet and took a picture of us. What he failed to anticipate was having to see a picture of me and Ryan Newman hanging in our bedroom. I've hugged my favorite band too. So now I just need to molest Josh Gates and I can die happy.

      Delete
    3. I definitely just had to google Josh Gates, had no idea who that was, don't hate me.

      Yeah Ryan is obviously not pleased about the JT picture that now lives in our bedroom. He can get over it. Just like he can get over all of the other photoshopped things I have planned now.

      You actually meet your idols. I just pretend to.

      Delete
  6. Breane2/28/2012

    The less people who know about Josh Gates, the better. It's less competition. I will never hate you.

    I still can't believe that my boyfriend is the one who takes me to meet my crushes, even after I tell him I would run away with them in a heartbeat. That's true love.

    PS - Are the robot detection words when you publish a comment in Swahili? Or am I having a stroke? It's just random letter combos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Huh..I have no idea what's going on with the spam catcher words because I don't have to use them to post a comment..but yes I think they can just be random letter combinations.

      Although one time a commenter did have to type in "ovary" to leave a comment on the post in which my ovary attacked me. So that was cool.

      Delete
  7. I am crawling in here to say 'thanks'! I am under the weather and have been on WebMD. I HAVE EVERYTHING. I hope I survive whatever I have...probably some tropical disease. Simon says you can't get a tropical disease when you spend most of your time in your pyjamas watching Buffy reruns but he is no WebMD.

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely! Hopefully I sent a tiny bit of traffic your way. I so wish I was more famous, mostly for my own sake, but also for yours.

      Simon sounds so much like Ryan. Leprosy does too still exist RYAN.

      Delete
  8. Lauren, I just discovered your blog! You are toooo funny!
    I thought I was so smart, keeping my crush secret from my husband because we have never actually discussed it, but I'm sure me trying to name our first child after a soap opera character gave him a clue! Then my sister gave me a poster of Mark Consuelos as an "I know all your secrets gift" and I put it front and center on our fridge. My hubby never said a word, but after a few weeks the poster disappeared. I gave him the silent treatment about it, never saying a word about my missing prize, even when I found it in his sock drawer. It promptly went back on the fridge...only to disappear again after a few weeks. We have never talked about the poster. It just keeps disappearing and reappearing in the oddest places. ...this has been going on for 15 years! The poster is getting worn and wrinkled now, but it is on my fridge right this minute!!

    ReplyDelete

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