Happy Valentine's Day RYAN

First and foremost, if you have not already, enter my VDay Giveaway.

Second, no I have not yet received any rubies in celebration of our love from my husband.  But the day is still young.

Finally, as promised, I have improved upon Ryan's original boring mushy wedding vows.

you are welcome my darling Ryan.  Please memorize these for recitation this evening.

Look Ryan, our wedding rings.  Remember how they say "You Are The Best Thing" on the inside?  These new and improved vows will totally make that a true statement.

I, Ryan Gallagher, take you, Lauren - Champion of Miniature Golf, to be my lawful and wildly attractive wife, to have and to never scold, from this day forward, for better, for new purse (hand me new purse), for richer, for even richer, in richness and in wealth, until Justin Timberlake do us part."

Further, I promise the following things:

To take the blame for punching a hole in our bedroom door and never ever tell anyone that my awkward-in-a-totally-cute-way wife actually created said hole in an unfortunate hallway skateboarding incident.

To never expect you to ride and refrain from riding myself in/on the following death-contraptions: helicopters, go-carts, motorcycles, unicycles, double-decker buses, white water rafts and wagons filled with hay.

To understand and allow you to vent your frustration when yet another person we know sings the praises of hay rides, which are completely worthless and uncomfortable and take entirely too long to get you anywhere and then when you do finally arrive at the pumpkin patch all of the good pumpkins are gone.

To never ever again submit you to the humiliation of being kicked out of brunch.

To keep the fridge stocked with an assortment of cheeses, both hard and soft, goat and cow, blue and artificially yellow.

"To never again say things like "Oh, you have a mustache, I never noticed before.  Must be these new sunglasses.  Man these things are awesome."

To buy you at least one ruby, most likely more though, on the second Valentine's Day after we are married.

To allow you the naming privileges of all of our future children.  And to never again say "We are NOT naming our child after a Pride & Prejudice Character/Flower/Dairy Product."

To totally forgive you if, again, on the second Valentine's Day after we are married, one of the dogs is sick on the carpet and you "don't notice" it before work and leave it for me to clean up later.

To say "ick" whenever we are spending time at a beach or pool and a girl in a bikini walks past.  And, in future, to first make certain that said girl is not in fact your lovely wife.

To never let the following things eat you: A bear, a catfish, a lion, a cannibal.  I promise if you are close to being eaten, to throw myself in harm's way so that you may escape.

To never let you watch 'Silence Of The Lambs' ever again.

To stop sending you texts in the middle of the day that say nothing but "I just ate a sandwich for lunch, it was delicious."  Because that is ridiculous and a complete waste of time and makes you jealous about the delicious sandwich.

To stop meticulously and secretly tracking the weather and then offering to take the dogs on their morning walk "just to be nice" because I know that it will probably be raining/snowing later in the day when it will then be your turn to take the dogs outside.

And finally, to allow you to make any and all edits to these vows that you see necessary as the days and years go by.

I love you.  And I don't care if you never shave your legs again.  And ponytails are not lazy and your orange sweatpants are sexy and I also sort of want a baby hippopotamus.

Anything you would add blogstalkers?

P.S.  I love you my Ryan.  Happy Valentine's Day.


14 comments:

  1. You might want to throw something in there about passing no judgement when you go back for a 3rd or 4th (or 8th) piece of cake. Otherwise, I think you're covered.

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    1. You know what? Ryan doesn't even LIKE cake. It's beyond comprehension. So maybe I should start by throwing something in there about learning to like cake so that we can have it in the house every once in a while?

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  2. Carly M.2/14/2012

    Hmmm, maybe you add something about not hiding the storage key? Or not eating cherries while wearing white? Otherwise I agree with @Trish, the vows seem very well re-written. Kudos! ;o)

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    Replies
    1. Oh he'll NEVER hide the storage key again. He has learned his lesson. And I though the cherries have ruined many a good shirt, I don't like to encourage anything that might increase the amount of toplessness in my home right now. There is an extravagant amount of toplessness as it is.

      Haha. Thanks!

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  3. To embrace Christmas in November?

    I like your line about being able to adapt the vows in following years just in case that ruby one needs to be upped...hopefully not all the way to your Ruby Wedding anniversary though.

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    1. Yeah the ruby thing is totally why I added that line. Because as hard as it is to accept, I have a feeling I'm probably not going to receive a ruby today. Damn it.

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  4. Thanks for the tips! now i know what to say t hubby if i'm on the
    same situation.
    love it!!

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    1. Absolutely! Thanks for Reading!!

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  5. I think you need at add something about the cupcake hat. Possibly something like "Whenever you adorn yourself with ADORABLE hats, I won't sigh or try to throw them away, but admire them, and ask if you have one for me too" ;)

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    1. This is a GREAT idea. Because of the cupcake hat and because of the fact that I have just like the hardest time getting Ryan to don his elf hat at Christmas.

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    2. How the heck did you end up marrying someone (RYAN) who doesn't wanna wear an elf hat?

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    3. I know right? With repeated begging and foot stomping he eventually puts it on, but refuses to leave the house wearing the elf hat.

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  6. Anonymous2/15/2012

    I like it!I will contact you if/when I need help with writing my vows. Maybe.

    xoxo!

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    Replies
    1. Oh absolutely. I'd be happy to help :)

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