Second, no I have not yet received any rubies in celebration of our love from my husband. But the day is still young.
Finally, as promised, I have improved upon Ryan's original boring mushy wedding vows.
you are welcome my darling Ryan. Please memorize these for recitation this evening.
|Look Ryan, our wedding rings. Remember how they say "You Are The Best Thing" on the inside? These new and improved vows will totally make that a true statement.|
I, Ryan Gallagher, take you, Lauren - Champion of Miniature Golf, to be my lawful and wildly attractive wife, to have and to never scold, from this day forward, for better, for new purse (hand me new purse), for richer, for even richer, in richness and in wealth, until Justin Timberlake do us part."
Further, I promise the following things:
To take the blame for punching a hole in our bedroom door and never ever tell anyone that my awkward-in-a-totally-cute-way wife actually created said hole in an unfortunate hallway skateboarding incident.
To never expect you to ride and refrain from riding myself in/on the following death-contraptions: helicopters, go-carts, motorcycles, unicycles, double-decker buses, white water rafts and wagons filled with hay.
To understand and allow you to vent your frustration when yet another person we know sings the praises of hay rides, which are completely worthless and uncomfortable and take entirely too long to get you anywhere and then when you do finally arrive at the pumpkin patch all of the good pumpkins are gone.
To never ever again submit you to the humiliation of being kicked out of brunch.
To keep the fridge stocked with an assortment of cheeses, both hard and soft, goat and cow, blue and artificially yellow.
"To never again say things like "Oh, you have a mustache, I never noticed before. Must be these new sunglasses. Man these things are awesome."
To buy you at least one ruby, most likely more though, on the second Valentine's Day after we are married.
To allow you the naming privileges of all of our future children. And to never again say "We are NOT naming our child after a Pride & Prejudice Character/Flower/Dairy Product."
To totally forgive you if, again, on the second Valentine's Day after we are married, one of the dogs is sick on the carpet and you "don't notice" it before work and leave it for me to clean up later.
To say "ick" whenever we are spending time at a beach or pool and a girl in a bikini walks past. And, in future, to first make certain that said girl is not in fact your lovely wife.
To never let the following things eat you: A bear, a catfish, a lion, a cannibal. I promise if you are close to being eaten, to throw myself in harm's way so that you may escape.
To never let you watch 'Silence Of The Lambs' ever again.
To stop sending you texts in the middle of the day that say nothing but "I just ate a sandwich for lunch, it was delicious." Because that is ridiculous and a complete waste of time and makes you jealous about the delicious sandwich.
To stop meticulously and secretly tracking the weather and then offering to take the dogs on their morning walk "just to be nice" because I know that it will probably be raining/snowing later in the day when it will then be your turn to take the dogs outside.
And finally, to allow you to make any and all edits to these vows that you see necessary as the days and years go by.
I love you. And I don't care if you never shave your legs again. And ponytails are not lazy and your orange sweatpants are sexy and I also sort of want a baby hippopotamus.
Anything you would add blogstalkers?
P.S. I love you my Ryan. Happy Valentine's Day.