But anywho, I promised you regular posts, and since I always keep my promises, away we go!
Ryan read this over my shoulder and was all like "You promised me you would take the Christmas tree down by January 5th, and yet..."
And then I was all "Yes, but I didn't say of what year."
And then he was all "I don't think you understand how promises work."
And then I was all, "Don't get your hopes up, I know exactly how promises, and vows for that matter, work."
Moving on though. So I bit the bullet and joined a gym today. And hired a personal trainer. Here is a story about my last personal trainer.
PT: So Lauren, how are things going on the diet front? Been following the plan I set up for you?
Lauren: Absolutely. To The Letter.
PT: So how is it then that you have something that looks suspiciously like strawberry jam on your face?
*Sorry blogstalkers, sometimes swear words are necessary. Plus that is actually what I said.
And then my physical trainer fired me. For real for real. I think partly because of the jam incident (it was actually raspberry jelly) and partly because one time I tripped and tried to grab at him to keep from falling and ended up accidentally de-pantsing him in the middle of a crowded gym (he was wearing meshy shorts underneath the pants but still.)
Or as the incident report for the firing stated "Repeatedly missed sessions."
So get ready for some personal trainer session stories. And also for the excuses I email my personal trainer to miss my personal training sessions.
So what else is interesting in my life right now.....
I keep forgetting that at my new desk at my new job the garbage can is on the right and not the left, so I usually have a small pile of trash sitting on the floor under my desk on one side and an empty garbage can on the other. People have started to notice.
Not interesting huh?
Ok well I'll just end with this then. Here is a list of the things that people have googled to reach this blog. Y'all are some crazy ass mofos yo.
hot men wet - ummmm
muppet soccer socks - I have a feeling this was Ryan. He says it wasn't and that he doesn't even play soccer anymore and that even if he did there's no way he would wear soccer socks with muppets on them to play because he plays with work people and the socks combined with the fact that I managed to steal his phone and change his ringtone to the muppet babies theme again might make them think he is weird. And then I was like "So you WOULD wear them if you didn't play with work people though?"
moustache Justin Timberlake - I even like you with a moustache Justin! I'll bet Jessica couldn't say that.
baby peppermint candy cane in wrapper
Andy Samberg hot - I know right?!
"wearing one shoe" - from this post - but seriously who googles this? Like who gets to work and is like "Oh crap, I'm only wearing one shoe today, I must check out what the internets say I should do."
"braless on my" - from this post - but again, who googles this?
Justin Timberlake met baard - what?
ladies in long underwear AND ladies long underwear - both from this post, when I made Ryan wear pink ladies long underwear, poor Ryan.
Preschool notice wash hands
t rex arms
Sidenote: Justin Timberlake if you are reading this, and I assume you are, do not read the next sentence.
blake shelton don't make me - Blake Shelton if you're reading this, and I assume you are, you can make me do anything you want.
gay candy cane - like the rainbow colored ones?
my husband didn't get me anything for anniversary - from this post This makes me sad. Whoever googled this to get here, send me your address and I'll send you a little something. I hope you like gay candy canes.
That's all for now, remember to check back in tomorrow to see if you won!