So today she picked a restaurant and we agreed to meet at noon. I left my building at 11:52 thinking that would give me plenty of time. I was wrong. I got to the place at 12:07 and found Vanessa at a table, having already ordered and paid at the counter.
I should also mention at this point that it is seriously like Stormageddon in Chicago today.
Lauren: "Are you serious right now?"
Vanessa: "About what? Why are you so red?"
Lauren: "This place is like ten blocks from my office and I can literally see your office. Look, I'm waving at your coworkers."
Vanessa: "You have snowflakes in your eyebrows."
Lauren: "On the way to meet you for lunch at this Corner Bakery, I passed a Corner Bakery."
Vanessa: "Oh good, my food is here. You should order."
Lauren: "Next time why don't I just stop and pick up our lunches and then come eat at your desk?"
Seriously. The walk back was even worse than the walk there, because I was walking directly into the driving wind and snow. For fifteen minutes.
The front desk people in my building seriously laughed at me when I came in.
I don't think Vanessa even had her coat.
So I have decided that I will still have lunch with Vanessa at whatever eatery she chooses but I have started accruing (I'm an accountant) a little something I like to call Frequent Walker Blocks. Which means that if Vanessa has to walk one block and I have to walk ten, I get to add 9 FWBs to my "account." And then some day in the future, I am going to call in these blocks and Vanessa is going to have to go anywhere I want.
And I'm not just talking for lunch. The beauty of Frequent Walker Blocks is that there are no blackout dates or destinations. I can make her walk 27 blocks to my favorite cupcake place and buy me a cupcake and walk back on my birthday next year. In January.
Walking one block to Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions every month? Thing of the past my friends.
I'm really upset I didn't think of this before.
Now I just need a butler, a chaffeur, a bartender, a nanny (for bedtime stories), a laundress and someone to reset my clocks for Daylight Savings Time and I'm all set.
I don't ask for much.
Oh and if you like stories about butlers - On our honeymoon, we stayed at a very fancy resort that gave each guest their own butler. Ryan's butler was named Jonathan. Ryan loved having someone to do all the things for him. He even once got out of the shower, stood dripping on the mat and said "Lauren, call Jonathan, I need to be dried."