It's My Party and I'll Wear Stretchy Pants All Day If I Want To, Thank You Very Much

Hello my pretty pretty (and handsome) blogstalkers.

Every year on my birthday, I buy myself a birthday present.  This year I've decided to do something a little different.

In honor of it being my birthday and in honor of you all being the best group of readers a gal could ask for, I am doing a giveaway. 

And now I know you're all thinking, "But Lauren, you don't have enough readers or enough regular commenters to do a giveaway." 

And you are right.

But I am going to do it anyway and I figure if I only get two comments then those two people have a 50% chance of winning and that is just fine with me.  The only person that can't win this giveaway is Ryan, which is fine since he definitely wouldn't comment anyway.  I'll even mail to far off lands (like say...Sweden.)

So anyway, comment to enter to win a giant package of my most favorite things.

Some of the things in this fancy package will be surprises.

But some will be the following things.

A $25 Giftcard for Here.  To Buy Books.
A Cubs Tee Shirt.  Not Necessarily with This Particular Image. I just used it because when I saw it and saw that the little bear was waving at me I was all like 'Ohhh HI little cub."
Some of my favorite candies.  I would send cheese, but that is weird.
A little something to hang on your tree (or give to a Christmas-celebrating friend) next year from The Happiest Place On Earth.
And a little something from here.  One of The Happiest Stores On Earth.  (If a boy wins, I promise to choose something very masculine and manly and macho - or something pretty to give to a girl you love.)
So that's it, although like I said, there will be little surprises as well.

Comment to win blogstalkers!  This giveaway closes Wednesday January 11th at 12:00 AM CST.  I will choose a winner randomly and post on who can plan on getting a box from me in the mail on Thursday morning.

And don't worry, I'll continue the regular posts between now and then as well.

Thanks for Reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and here is a little present for all of you.  YOU ARE WELCOME.


  1. Anonymous1/07/2012

    I'm not commenting to win free stuff, which is welcome,but I have enjoyed catching up on your blog the ladtfew days. Plus I can show Brett embarrassing pictures of Ryan! Thanks for the entertainment. P.s. Muppets take manhattan is awesome! Megan Rasmussen

  2. @Megan

    Yeah Ryan wasn't SUPER pleased on my choice of old pictures to post, but then, this isn't his blog.

    Thanks for reading!

  3. Happy Birthday from your lifelong blogstalker! And lifestalker. For realz. Sending you love from Philly!

  4. Happy Birthday, honey! Hope you have a wonderful day today!

  5. @Vanessa

    I enjoy the blogstalking, but the real life stalking is going to have to stop (not really, it makes me feel important.)

    Also, good use of the phrase "For realz." It was enjoyed immensely.

  6. @Jo

    Thanks Jo! I hope you have a wonderful day today too (and that you're feeling better.)

  7. Happy birthday!

    Also - I like to win things.

    The end.

  8. @Estephania

    Thanks! I also like to win things. It almost never happens though, it's one of the biggest tragedies of my life.

  9. Juicy Juice1/07/2012

    I'm commenting because obviously commenting on your blog is much better than sending you a "loving" text message on your birthday.

    Happy Birthday!

    I'm commenting solely to win! I think since the promised cookies never made it to me, I should win by default. .... For Realz?

    PS: Give Ryan a kiss from me!


  10. @Juicy Juice

    First OJ, your "loving text" actually went a little something like this:

    "Happy Birthday Lauren. If Ryan won't give you babies for your birthday, I can certainly try."

    Second, the cookies didn't make it to you because you forgot to give me an apartment number and then by the time they were returned to me they were going to be stale if I sent them again.

    And if you really really want to win, then you should have Jansen comment too, then you have double the chance. And maybe I'd even include some cookies this time too.

  11. Super fun giveaway! Happy Birthday! I wanna win :)

  12. @Lauren

    nonsense, Lauren. You totally win the award for the blog I get most excited to see updated. So, there's that.

  13. @Neely


    And as of right now you have a 1 in 6 chance so I'd say you're sitting pretty. Unless I get extremely popular in the next five days. Which is unlikely since it hasn't happened in the last 28 years.

  14. @Estephania

    That is a very nice thing to say to me on my birthday :)

    It almost makes me consider entering you in the drawing twice. Almost.

  15. Lauren, your blog cracks me up! Happy birthday; I hope your day is fantastic!

    Oh, and I wouldn't mind winning. :)


  16. @SaxyCollegeGirl

    Thank You! It's shaping up to be the best birthday ever thanks to all my awesome readers.

    I sort of want every single one of you all to win.

    But unfortunately. I'm not effing rich.

  17. Haha, this is awesome. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you get a baby this year, purple or otherwise. :)

  18. @Lindsay

    Thanks! And I am determined to get that baby. I have even considered blackmail and/or coercion.

  19. Julie Hilgendorf1/07/2012

    Happy birthday darling! Hope it is the year for babies (ha Ryan!)!

  20. Katie Gallagher1/07/2012

    Happy Birthday Lauren! Hopefully we can get together for dinner sometime soon and make Ryan pay for us, cause gods knows I don't have money :)
    P.S. Ryan, if you read this I'm just kidding.

    Thanks for the side splitting laughs throughout the year. Keep it up!

  22.'s your birthday??? I had no idea. I thought it was yesterday. Ha ha.


    P.s. Ryan really shouldn't have put you on his credit card. Ha ha

  23. Jessica Rose1/07/2012

    If I had known yesterday that this giveaway was coming, I would have waited a day to comment - oh well, I'll just have to do it again!

    I'm love, love, loving the current posting spree. Since yours is the only blog I stalk or even read for that matter, I look rather pathetic when days go by without a post and I obsessively reread past ones to keep busy online - no pressure. ;)

    Hope your birthday is a very happy one and the next year is amazing!!

  24. @Julie Hilgendorf

    OH It's the year for babies alright. (HA Ryan!)

  25. @Katie Gallagher

    Or if Ryan won't pay then I can just pay using the credit card he gave me. (What. A. Dummy)

    And Thanks!

  26. @Lisa

    I would say I promise to keep it up, but we all know sometimes I have the habit of going a little AWOL.

    So I'll just say I promise to not stop posting entirely?

    And thank you very much for the Happy Birthday, I am trying to collect more Happy Birthdays than Ryan got on his birthday.

    It's starting to get close.

  27. @KFino

    I know right? It's like he doesn't know me at all.

    He was reviewing the statement and was all like "Did you seriously order yourself a membership to the cheese of the month club?"

    And I was like 'Obviously, do you not know me at all?"

  28. @Jessica Rose

    Thanks for the Happy Birthday and the comment.

    One of my New Years' Resolutions was to get better at posting more regularly and so far I'm managing do it.

    So fingers crossed it continues.

    You could argue that crossing our fingers shouldn't matter because if I post or not is not based on luck but rather on if I can motivate myself to do something other than watch Project Runway and think about painting my toenails, but whatever. I say let's cross our fingers anyway. It can't hurt right?

  29. You give other people presents on your birthday? That's so nice. Hope you got/get some nice presents yourself. Fingers crossed for the purple polka-dotted baby.
    As sweet as getting cheese would be, yes, it is weird to send in the mail. But the weirdest thing I've heard of someone mailing is a beard. Detached from the person who grew it, luckily.
    Oh I love DuckTales. And the theme song. Thank you.

  30. @Lisa

    I have listened to the DuckTales theme song like thirty times today. It is the new Happy Birthday To You.

    If anyone ever sends me a beard in the mail they are getting karate-kicked in the neck.

    So seriously people, beware.

    Now I just have to learn how to karate-kick.

  31. Oh. My. God.

    Duck Tales.

    I haven't heard that in forever. Andrew just came home from being at his dad's (his dad got him a rifle gun for his birthday. But that's a whole other story.) to find me singing this at the top of my lungs.

    Also, I like brown paper packages tied up with strings. And whiskers on kittens and stuff. Although I would never expect kitten whiskers in the package. Cause that would be effed up.

  32. @Christine

    I was alternating between singing the Duck Tales theme song and the Muppet Babies theme song in the shower today.

    Because I thought Ryan wasn't home.

    And then I got out and he was like "Really?"

    It's like he doesn't know who I am anymore.

  33. Anonymous1/07/2012

    Hey Happy Birthday Lauren!

  34. @Anonymous

    Hey Thanks!

    If you win I'm going to have no idea where to send the package. I'll just guess. I'm really good at guessing.

  35. Happy birthday Lauren! I'm loving the blog!

  36. @Stephen

    Thanks Thanks Thanks! Forget Ryan spoiling me rotten, people that say nice things about my blog are the ones that spoil me rotten.

    Counting the days until March.

    Seriously, 63.

  37. Happy Birthday Lauren -- And I AGREE with Julie! Santi and Dahlia need some playmates :)

    It was good seeing you tonight. We need to get together soon to catch up more. (And now I have another blog to follow) :)
    Allison C/

  38. @Allison

    I already told Ryan tonight that this is the year of the baby. And he was like "No."

    But we'll see about that. I can be extremely stubborn and persistent.

    It was great seeing you tonight too, your babies are beautiful. They are the only thing I talked about all the way home. I can't wait to formally meet little Dahlia.

    Thanks for reading!!

  39. Happy birthday! I am one of your random blogstalkers, and you crack me up! Hope your day was great fun (and provided hilarity to be shared here...)


  40. Happy Birthday!

    Did you consider adding some dill pickles to the pack? Pickles make such a wonderful gift.

  41. @Amy

    Thanks! And actually yes, I do have some birthday moments to share, so stay tuned this week.

    Thanks a katrillion for the blogstalking.

  42. @Emily

    Thanks! And I would add pickles to the package but I have a really difficult time parting with pickles. I try to keep at least three jars in my fridge at all times, to protect against dreaded pickles shortages.

  43. Bethany1/09/2012

    Oh my gosh, how fun! Happy Birthday Lauren!

  44. @Bethany

    Thanks! and Thanks!

  45. Anonymous1/09/2012

    Do anonymous folks have to reveal themselves? Can I enter this raffle as "xoxo, Blogstalker"? Because I am a shy stalker and don't like to reveal my name and stuff.

  46. @Anonymous

    You are officially entered as xoxo, Blogstalker.

    If you win though, you *might* have to send me an address at least.

    Otherwise I'll have no where to send the prize and I'll have to keep all of my favorite things to myself.

    And that sounds horrible.

  47. Anonymous1/09/2012

    I will email you in SECRET if I win!

    Yaaay! So excited!

  48. Happy Belated Birthday, Lauren! Love your blog!

  49. @constancemayhew

    Thank You! Comments like that make my little day.

  50. HAppy Belated Birthday! I think you are hilarious and I am always so excited when a new blog is posted!

  51. @Steph

    Thanks! Being called hilarious definitely doesn't make me mad. And I'm working so hard on posting more often. Really and truly!

  52. Anonymous1/09/2012

    I am a lamo never-leave-a-comment blogstalker. I am not anonymous but that is the only way I know how to comment since I am just a tad above computer illiterate. Happy birthday! I am also commenting because I was just thinking last night of doing the same thing on my birthday and giving gifts. So, I am proud of you. I am also in the 'baby business' so when you get there I will be full of great research advice. And I regularly listen to Duck Tales since my daughter loves the song. Nora

  53. Anonymous1/09/2012

    Oop apparently it's Disco Duck, not Duck Tales that is the big hit over here....Nora

  54. @Anonymous (Nora)

    I love comments but they're never expected. If someone is reading what I'm writing that is more than enough for me.

    Thanks for the Happy Birthday and for being proud of me (not many people are, and especially not my husband when he gets home today and realizes I licked some of the frosting off of his cupcake - although I will say the cupcake was leftover from MY birthday, so technically it was MY frosting to lick.)

    And I have no idea what Disco Duck is, but I'm off to google it and find out.

  55. Nicky Marthaler1/09/2012

    If I comment more than once am I entered for each comment? Also I think that since I'm your sister and all I should be entered twice for everyone else's one entry. Just saying. Also, I think I'll comment from Kevin's just to double my chances. Fingers crossed!

  56. I've been thinkin' about this, and comment #56 should totally win. I'm just sayin'.

    How was your birthday? Was it most excellent?

  57. @Nicky

    I would be inclined to agree to your proposition if this was not your first comment ever.

    So technically Im agreeing to give you one chance for every comment you've ever left.

  58. @Jo

    Comment 156 maybe. Cause if I get that many I'm sending everyone a present for being awesome.

  59. Anonymous1/09/2012

    Happy Belated, Lauren! I 110% blogstalk you. I'm happy you'll be posting more often because your antics are way more amusing then my desk job!

  60. @Anonymous

    Thanks Yo. I only wish my antics didn't ever occur at MY desk job.

    Especially since it's a brand new desk job.

    Unfortunately that's just not the case.

    Thanks for reading!!

  61. Anonymous1/09/2012

    Pick me! haha. I did miss out on the cookies this christmas :(. No really though, keep the blogs coming. They are hilarious. I think I may have to steal your letter to Ryan idea for my next anniversary. Or, perhaps, Ill send you all the things that Matt does to annoy me and you can make it into something witty. And Happy Early B-day! And...I talked to your dad the other day. He said your mom has been sick and Jordan isnt exactly loving AZ, so tell them all hello for me. Hope your mom is feeling better... and Jordan can always contact me if she gets bored! Anna

  62. @Anna

    I know I know the COOKIES. I am the worst blogwriter in the world.

    Thanks for the family concern, they're all peachy as of today.

    And if you ever actually want to write a blog entry (and pepper it with pictures of your cutie pie) then you are welcome.

    Also, I use you as you one of my secret security password questions.

    "Who was your first best friend?"


    "You are correct, you can now log in to Amazon and buy more books Thank God."

    Don't tell anyone else this.


  63. Anonymous1/10/2012

    I love this blog post! Full of love in the comments!

    True fact: Tropical Dots are amazing. I hope you have tried them.

    I hope your birthday week is still going strong! Don't forget to get a birthday spa treatment, too -- maybe a massage or a mani/pedi...or both...
    --Anon Y. Mouse

  64. @Anonymous

    I have indeed tried Tropical Dots, as well as the limited edition Holiday Dots. I still think the normal dots (particularly the red/pink colors) are my fave.

    Also, snowcaps.

    Also, cheese.

    Also, want to know something weird about me? I LOATHE spas. Mani/Pedis make me really impatient and massages make me giggle. I'm a terrible girl.

  65. Just found your blog through YHL. I love your style of writing and am really enjoying reading back posts. Happy birthday!

  66. @Calli

    Thanks for jumping over here! Happy I didn't scare you away (it happens shockingly often.)

  67. Anonymous1/10/2012

    Happy birthday from Lisa in Seattle! I first found you from your earlier comments on YHL. We need to get you on their blogroll so their millions of fans can apply daily baby pressure over here. (Did you know that back in the day, you actually stood a decent chance of winning their giveaways? Now your odds are only slightly better than being eaten by a shark while standing in line to cash your $10 million lottery ticket. But I digress.) What are your thoughts on the special Halloween edition Dots - fruity ghosts and blood-orange bats?

  68. @Anonymous (Lisa in Seattle)

    First, Thanks for reading!

    Second, while being on the blogroll at YHL would make me geek out(!!!), I fear my blog is not enough about doing things and too much about just sitting on the couch eating pickles. People would click over and be all like "When is this chick going to stop talking about sweatpants and build something?"

    Although you are right, the baby pressure would be wonderful. I really do need help with that, lots and lots of help.

    And my thoughts on Halloween Dots - What the eff?! I didn't even know they existed. I wonder if I can buy some stale ones on eBay. Off to check!

  69. so i'm a little late with the birthday wishes, but i promise to make it up with a haiku:

    hey! it's your birthday...
    ryan should give you babies,
    go procreate now!

    i've been blog-stalking you for awhile and absolutely cannot tell you how much i love reading your blog - it's hilarious. although i do get in trouble for laughing loudly at work, it is definitely worth it.

    i hope you got lots of awesome presents like furniture, decor, babies and lots of pickles... although i'm sure if you got babies, the pickles would be included.

    but of course, the best gift, i'm sure you'll agree, is my gift to you... that i finally commented on one of your posts. you're welcome.

    happy birthday, girl. hope it was everything you dreamed of.

  70. @Cam

    Thanks for coming out of hiding! Comments make me squirm, but in a good way.

    I apologize for getting you into trouble at work. I know how that goes, I get myself into trouble at work all the time.

    As far as awesome presents go, I'm doing pretty well so far, no babies yet, but I'm working on a new technique to convince my husband. It's a combination of bribery and blackmail.

    Also, as far as babies and pickles go, I'm actually pretty terrified that I'm going to be the only pregnant woman that doesn't crave pickles and ice cream. Because to go without pickles for nine months would be horrifying.

    So let's hope pickles come with babies, for my sake.

    And thank you for the haiku. If you watch the blog, I'll be posting a limerick I wrote in the next couple of days. I will dedicate it to you.

  71. Jansen1/11/2012

    Sounds like Juicy Juice loves winning things! He sounds handsome too! :)

    Love your blog Lauren!

  72. @Jansen

    Plus I hear he can sing like an angel.

    Thanks for reading!

  73. lauren, so glad coming out of hiding was totally worth it.

    i get myself into trouble at work, too, so it's nice to have you to blame for it sometimes.

    can't wait to hear about the new baby bribery attempts... i highly suggest waterboarding... i hear it works wonders.

    9 months without pickles sounds like hell. but then again so does 9 months without sushi, wine and beer, so i'm already screwed when that time comes....

    i'm always watching your blog (insert creeper laugh here), so i will anxiously await the limerick dedicated to me :)

    have a fantastic pickle filled weekend! (wait, that's kinda dirty... oh well, it's friday!)

    1. Your limerick has been served my good lady.

      Yeah no liquor is going to be tough. I will especially miss Whiskey mixed with Kahlua. Surprising delicious. (This might make more sense after you actually read the new post.)

  74. p.s. that last post was from Cam if you couldn't tell... apparently google automatically logged me in as my blog name. awesome. technology, you win today...

    1. Oh no worries. Technology totally beat me today too when I got slightly electrocuted by my work laptop.

      (Electrocution and small shocks are the same thing right?)

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