Oh The Places You'll Go - No Bars Until You are 21

At the end of this summer my youngest sibling, my six-foot-four little brother, is heading off to college.  And while I’m very excited for him to finally make some friends and like, get a life already because it’s about time DAVIS, I’m very not excited for me.  Because seriously, him going away to school is making me face the fact that I am no spring chicken.  Because I am ten several years older than my brother.  But rather than wallow in my discontent I have decided to use my additional decade of slightly more than like three years of experience to impart some wisdom upon my brother.

So Davis Edward, here is my going-away-to-college advice to you.  It’s all very well thought out and helpful.  I promise.

  1. When you go to freshman orientation it’s probably a good idea to pack more than one pair of shoes.  Because there is a chance you will be doing an undignified amount of walking during freshman orientation.  And if you only pack one pair of brand spanking new sandals then you run the risk of acquiring some seriously major blisters and being forced to wear socks with your sandals because it hurts so much.  And then you will make no friends at freshman orientation. 

  1. There is a chance that you will not LOVE your roommate.  This is OK.  It is ok if you and your roommate like different music and study at different times and he/she is a vegetarian while you sometimes wake up with a sausage biscuit with one bite taken out of it under your pillow.  You can deal with this and make other friends and hey, it’s only a year and then you can pick your roommate. 

  1. There is also a chance unfortunately that you will not even LIKE your roommate, a chance that you might in fact be SUPER CREEPED OUT by your roommate because they have a boyfriend that is over forty that lives in Canada that they met on the internet who sends them lace nightgowns in the mail.  This is NOT OK.  This is when you get out.  Because if you don’t then they will use your camera to take pictures of themself wearing the aforementioned lace nightgown to send to the aforementioned forty year old Canadian internet manfriend and then forget to delete them.  And then you will be eating chocolate pudding and going through the pictures on your camera and you will scream and choke and there WILL BE CHOCOLATE PUDDING EVERYWHERE.

  1. Sometimes in college you get really really poor because you spent too much money last weekend on beers to drink books to study.  And then you will have to eat nothing but ramen noodles and chocolate pudding for weeks on end because it is all you can afford.  Sometimes this is worth it because sometimes it is a lot of fun to study books with your friends but sometimes you will really regret it because you will wake up feeling SUPER EDUCATED and the only thing to eat will be chocolate pudding.  And then you will be like, well at least I can look at all the pictures I took last night of my friends and I studying books while I eat my chocolate pudding.  And we already know THAT doesn’t end well.

My friends and me at the "library" in college.  Me on right.


  1. I suppose I should give you some actual real advice at some point.  So here goes.  Keep your dorm door open at all times for the first couple of weeks of class.  This makes it easy to meet people.  Participate – whether it’s a fraternity or intramural sports or the radio station or whatever.  This makes it easy to meet people with the same interests as you.  Get good grades, seriously, I mean it.  Take pictures, you will want them later.  Go to office hours.  Taking a girl to the cafeteria and paying for her dinner with your meal plan does not count as a date (RYAN.)  And above all, seriously seriously remember the thing I said about the flip flops.  Because it takes a long time for people to stop asking if you were that girl boy limping around in bloody socks and sandals at orientation. 
Also, Happy 18th Birthday Davis.  This totally counts as your present by the way because I spent all of my money on books.

Davis - Always the only boy.

1 comment:

  1. Sweetest sibling love post ever... :)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
 
Site Design By Designer Blogs