Jumping on the Bandwagon and The Importance of Being Unique

So I’ve been a serial blog-reader for a number of years now and I finally decided (for the seventeenth time) that it is time to go ahead and start my own little blog.  I did actually enjoy a brief jaunt as a very very serious blog-writer last year while I was planning my wedding but honestly the posts were few and far between.  I blamed this on the fact that I was planning a wedding, but truly it was more the fault of me being all sorts of lazy… Let’s hope, for the sake of this project, that getting married (a very serious thing to do after all) has miraculously transformed me into someone that is super on top of things.  But let’s face it, probably not.

Moving on.  I suppose I should introduce myself.

I am Lauren.
This is a pretty flattering picture of me. But hey, it's my blog.  If it wasn't, then I probably would have used this picture.
 I am an accountant.  I decided on an accounting degree for the sole reason that it would pay my student loans after graduation.  It was a financially responsible decision, one that would make anyone truly destined to be an accountant proud.  But in my heart of hearts I still do not consider accounting my real destiny – my fate maybe, but not my destiny.  I dreamed of majoring in journalism or library science because I love WORDS not NUMBERS (yuck!).  Also libraries smell really good and are full of people keeping their mouths shut.  Offices smell like tuna fish (seriously person one cube over, must you bring tuna fish for lunch?) and popcorn and are full of people sending me annoying emails that contain words like “amortization” and “tax”.

I ate popcorn at work today.   

I love to cook.  I love to bake.  I love to collect kitchen gadgets to use for the aforementioned cooking and baking.  I make dinner for my sometimes darling husband Ryan every weeknight and some weekend nights.  It is how I unwind after spending the day doing TPS reports.  I get cooking magazines in the mail, buy an absurd number of cookbooks and a really good grocery store makes my top ten list of favorite places.

Other places that currently make my top ten list of favorite places in no particular order:
Disney World (It’s just SO happy)


Costa Rica (hello honeymoon, I miss you, shall we visit soon?)

Our condo when it’s clean (almost never)

Bloomingdales Shoe Department

Bookstores

Wrigley Field


Nashville, TN



My head – I have an active fantasy life – not in a sick way – I just sometimes (all the time) like to imagine I am cast as Natalie Portman’s better-looking younger sister in a critically acclaimed adaptation of a bestselling novel or that I can sing beautifully and dance like Britney S. Pierce (name that show!) and do sweet sweet musical collaborations with the Justins (Bieber and Timberlake duh) while all of my closest friends, looking somewhat (lots) less pretty than me, make up my nimble hip-hop dancing troupe.  And then one day Justin Timberlake is all like “Lauren do you mind staying after rehearsal because…” Getting ahead of myself.  I love YOU Ryan dear.  And I would still love you (as an ex-wife loves her first husband with whom she is still friends) if Justin Timberlake loved me.

I read a LOT of books.  I average about a hundred pages a day.  I usually finish a book in three or so days.  Borders calls me when I have not been in to buy books in a while. (Yep that happened.)  I read when I work out.  I read before bed.  I read a quick two pages when Ryan, my first husband, takes the dogs out.  I read while I walk to work.  I read while waiting in lines.  I used to hide in the stockroom of my high school job and read a chapter or two and then go back to stocking garden hoses.  I tried to register for books.  I own thousands of books, because as much as I love libraries, my vice is buying books.  Because if I have read a book then I must HAVE that book.  I hate when people borrow books and then never give them back.  (I remember exactly who you all are and what books you borrowed.)  I currently organize my books by color because it looks awesome.

I need to maybe hit the gym a little bit more regularly than once every two and a half months.

I have really ridiculously long arms.  Like serious monkey arms.  I had to change into my gym uniform numerous times in Junior High because my fingertips hit my leg lower than the edge of my shorts…..because my fingertips almost hit my knees at that age.  I’ve grown into them a little bit more now.  And honestly, having long arms is helpful.  I can reach things that are really high up and I can successfully smack Ryan while staying just out of reach of his T-Rex arms. 


I married the only boy I have ever loved in my 27 years (so by default I suppose he’s the love of my life?) on December 11th, 2010.  It rained, until 11pm, when it snowed!  My wedding was imperfect and wonderful and I will never plan another one because it was hard.  My pre-school classmate turned high school sweetheart FINALLY turned fiancĂ© turned husband is Ryan.  We live in Chicago and have two small dogs together.  They are Daisy and Zooey (like Gooey with a Z not like Doughy a Z.) 




I have three younger sisters and a younger brother.  They are OK.  I would only trade one of them maybe two for someone a bit more awesome.


I am happy happy happy. 

I will be happier when Ryan lets me have babies.  Currently he makes me tell people we are on a “three-year-plan.”  That is not true.  He is on a three year plan and I am on whatever the plan is called where one constantly thinks about babies and commercials with babies make them cry and they read blogs on which wives with more reasonable husbands post pregnancy pics and mentally paste their own face over the lucky pregnant women’s’ faces and when they look into the mirror every morning they try to pretend they are glowing and not just pale as all hell.  Honestly I know that it is PROBABLY not THAT reasonable for a 27 year old to expect to start having babies during her first year of marriage when she and her maybe-somewhat-right-in-this-instance husband are still paying off their wedding, but then I see a baby and I hold that baby and the baby spits up all over me and I don’t care and my world feels all sorts of complete. 

When are we starting a family you ask? Oh, we’re on a three year plan.  ::SIGH::

21 comments:

  1. hahaha, you are funny. glad you started a blog. i've enjoyed reading :)

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  2. @Estephania
    Thanks for reading! And commenting! And following! You made my silly little day.

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  3. That is a beautiful picture of you walking in the snow. How fortuitous that the rain changed to snow.

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  4. @Mark

    Yeah we were super lucky. It's really difficult to make Chicago weather cooperate even a little. The bad news is that once it started snowing it didn't stop and our flight to our honeymoon got cancelled the next day. Haha.

    Thanks so so much for reading!!

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  5. You are hilarious. Do you have a Facebook page where I can follow it? I'm your newest devoted fan.

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    1. What a well-timed question. I JUST started a Facebook account for this blog. You can find me at www.facebook.com/LaurenFilingJointly. You can be my first friend!!

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  6. I think we may be soul friends. I found your blog from the bloggess and everything I read sounds like my fiance and I, right down to the wedding song and accounting job! I'm in bloglove.

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    1. Thanks and welcome soul friend! So glad you've found your way over here.

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  7. Maria T.3/04/2012

    And you love books? Gorgeous, funny & loves books? I am addicted to books! My house is overflowing, and yet I still buy more to keep the others company! Oh! And organising them by colour? Sounds like a great idea & one that I will be copying!

    Did I mention that I love, love, love your blog?

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    1. Haha people need to stop using that *G* word. It's totally going to my head.

      I totally get you on the overflowing books thing. My husband complains that he's drowning in books. Too bad for him right?

      I love love love you for reading.

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  8. I just stumbled across your blog and I'm pretty sure that you are now my favourite person I've never met. I love books too, and I completely relate to everything you said in this post! And now I am going to read everything you've ever written on here. :)

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    1. Be careful reading everything I've ever written. That's a LOT of crazy to ingest in one day. And then I might not be your favorite person (that you've never met) anymore. And I don't think I could handle that.

      Thanks for reading!

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  9. I also found you through the Blogess and I have just finished reading everything you've ever written and am totally your newest blogstalker! I have a Brett( who is just like a Ryan) that swears that my awesome book collection is a fire hazard and that my love of reading rivals a crack addiction!

    Thank you for sharing your life and making my day a little happier:)

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    1. Wow I am impressed that you were able to read everything without going extremely insane. I know I couldn't do it.

      Your Brett sounds exactly like my Ryan. He claims he's "drowing in books." Too bad RYAN.

      Thanks for reading!!

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    2. And by 'drowing' I mean 'drowning'

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  10. Okay, I just popped over from The Bloggess and have just spent the last 45 minutes going through your archives. You are one funny lady! I'm so happy I found your blog. I'll be sure to be back!

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    1. Thanks Sarah!

      I'm always so happy to meet someone that gets me.

      Can't wait to see you again!

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  11. Hey! I just found your blog and I love it. You seem so fun. I loved the story of how you and Ryan met. I subscribed!

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    1. Thanks for subscribing! I'm guessing you jumped over here from YHL? I always see your comments on their posts.

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  12. I linked over from The Bloggess. My husband is also making me wait for babies and we also got married on December 11. Hmm, maybe something with that date? Conspiracy? I'm also a reader and used to work in a library until temporary insanity (and a better paying job, that I ended up hating) caused me to quit. Aaaanyway, great blog and look forward to reading more :)

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  13. I just read your entire blog over the past couple of weeks. Love!

    Anyways, I figured I would post here because the proper name for T-rex arms are vestigial arms. I know this because vestigial arms is my favorite combination of words to say. As in, when I try to surprise my husband by wrapping a scarf around his torso and trapping his arms to his body, and then he tries to reach out to stop me I scream "Vestigial Arms!" right in his face. He LOVES that.

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