Jumping on the Bandwagon and The Importance of Being Unique
So I’ve been a serial blog-reader for a number of years now and I finally decided (for the seventeenth time) that it is time to go ahead and start my own little blog. I did actually enjoy a brief jaunt as a very very serious blog-writer last year while I was planning my wedding but honestly the posts were few and far between. I blamed this on the fact that I was planning a wedding, but truly it was more the fault of me being all sorts of lazy… Let’s hope, for the sake of this project, that getting married (a very serious thing to do after all) has miraculously transformed me into someone that is super on top of things. But let’s face it, probably not.
Moving on. I suppose I should introduce myself.
I am Lauren.
This is a pretty flattering picture of me. But hey, it's my blog. If it wasn't, then I probably would have used this picture.
I am an accountant. I decided on an accounting degree for the sole reason that it would pay my student loans after graduation. It was a financially responsible decision, one that would make anyone truly destined to be an accountant proud. But in my heart of hearts I still do not consider accounting my real destiny – my fate maybe, but not my destiny. I dreamed of majoring in journalism or library science because I love WORDS not NUMBERS (yuck!). Also libraries smell really good and are full of people keeping their mouths shut. Offices smell like tuna fish (seriously person one cube over, must you bring tuna fish for lunch?) and popcorn and are full of people sending me annoying emails that contain words like “amortization” and “tax”.
I ate popcorn at work today.
I love to cook. I love to bake. I love to collect kitchen gadgets to use for the aforementioned cooking and baking. I make dinner for my sometimes darling husband Ryan every weeknight and some weekend nights. It is how I unwind after spending the day doing TPS reports. I get cooking magazines in the mail, buy an absurd number of cookbooks and a really good grocery store makes my top ten list of favorite places.
Other places that currently make my top ten list of favorite places in no particular order:
Our condo when it’s clean (almost never)
Bloomingdales Shoe Department
My head – I have an active fantasy life – not in a sick way – I just sometimes (all the time) like to imagine I am cast as Natalie Portman’s better-looking younger sister in a critically acclaimed adaptation of a bestselling novel or that I can sing beautifully and dance like Britney S. Pierce (name that show!) and do sweet sweet musical collaborations with the Justins (Bieber and Timberlake duh) while all of my closest friends, looking somewhat (lots) less pretty than me, make up my nimble hip-hop dancing troupe. And then one day Justin Timberlake is all like “Lauren do you mind staying after rehearsal because…” Getting ahead of myself. I love YOU Ryan dear. And I would still love you (as an ex-wife loves her first husband with whom she is still friends) if Justin Timberlake loved me.
I read a
LOT of books. I average about a hundred pages a day. I usually finish a book in three or so days. Borders calls me when I have not been in to buy books in a while. (Yep that happened.) I read when I work out. I read before bed. I read a quick two pages when Ryan, my first husband, takes the dogs out. I read while I walk to work. I read while waiting in lines. I used to hide in the stockroom of my high school job and read a chapter or two and then go back to stocking garden hoses. I tried to register for books. I own thousands of books, because as much as I love libraries, my vice is buying books. Because if I have read a book then I must HAVE that book. I hate when people borrow books and then never give them back. (I remember exactly who you all are and what books you borrowed.) I organize my books by color because it looks awesome.
I need to maybe hit the gym a little bit more regularly than once every two and a half months.
I have really ridiculously long arms. Like serious monkey arms. I had to change into my gym uniform numerous times in Junior High because my fingertips hit my leg lower than the edge of my shorts…..because my fingertips almost hit my knees at that age. I’ve grown into them a little bit more now. And honestly, having long arms is helpful. I can reach things that are really high up and I can successfully smack Ryan while staying just out of reach of his T-Rex arms.
I have three younger sisters and a younger brother. They are OK. I would only trade one of them maybe two for someone a bit more awesome.
I am happy happy happy.
I will be happier when Ryan lets me have babies. Currently he makes me tell people we are on a “three-year-plan.” That is not true. He is on a three year plan and I am on whatever the plan is called where one constantly thinks about babies and commercials with babies make them cry and they read blogs on which wives with more reasonable husbands post pregnancy pics and mentally paste their own face over the lucky pregnant women’s’ faces and when they look into the mirror every morning they try to pretend they are glowing and not just pale as all hell. Honestly I know that it is PROBABLY not THAT reasonable for a 27 year old to expect to start having babies during her first year of marriage when she and her maybe-somewhat-right-in-this-instance husband are still paying off their wedding, but then I see a baby and I hold that baby and the baby spits up all over me and I don’t care and my world feels all sorts of complete.
When are we starting a family you ask? Oh, we’re on a three year plan. ::SIGH::
Posted On 6/20/2011