One Fish Two Fish We Granted Ryan's Wish

Hello Blogstalkers!

Since Ryan has been an absolute prince lately what with the knocking me up and all, I've been racking my brain trying to think of something special I could do for him.  But could not come up with anything that seemed just right.  Until we were flipping through the channels one Saturday trying to find a random movie to watch before going to bed and he stopped it on a shot of a group of men in a restaurant eating sushi off the body of a not-very-clad woman.  And he laughingly said something annoying about that being on his bucket list, just to bother me.  I was about to dismiss the entire episode but then I remembered that he'd said basically the same thing when I had forced him to watch the Sex And The City movie years ago and how I had been severely affronted and huffy.

And so a plan was hatched.  If he wanted to eat sushi off a semi-nude body so badly (gross gross gross) then I could give him that.  And then he could cross it off his nonexistent bucket list that he only brings up when he knows it will drive me mad and we would never have to talk about the sushi thing ever ever again.

And everyone would be happy.

So I googled pictures for inspiration.  And made notes.

More leaves than this for sure.

SO many more leaves than this.  Also Samantha you are in front of a window you silly whore. 

And then I enlisted a partner in crime because this was obviously not a one person job.

And so OJ (my husband's very best friend with whom he has a terrifyingly intense bromance) flew in from Dallas just for this.  Ok not really.  He was flying in the next day for a bachelor party anyway but he flew in a day early just for this.

We started with an arts and crafts hour in which we made not-at-all-scanty leaves and lifelike flowers for decoration.

This was the planned ensemble: (Which would be worn OVER UNDERWEAR, let's make that clear right now.)

I still was not sure it was enough leaves.

We bought cheap sushi from Jewel because we were unsure if Ryan would actually eat any of the sushi off of a person (because seriously who does that?) even if it happened to be the person he loves best in the world and then we waited until about fifteen minutes before he was due home from work and started work ourselves.

There were lots of "Ahhh OJ NO!"s and "Don't look yet!"s and "My leaves are slipping! Don't you dare try to fix them just hand me some tape and turn around!"s but eventually we got the job done.

And that is the story of how when Ryan got home and climbed the stairs he was met with this sight:

I should be a paparazzo because I am obviously excellent at getting "up the skirt" shots.

What? You didn't think it was going to be me on the table did you?

Then Ryan was all, "What the hell!?" and OJ was all "I've made you dinner darling!" and Ryan was all "Why is this happening! I don't want this." and I was all "It was on your bucket list RYAN, I was just trying to do something lovely for you."

I swear he is wearing boxers under the leaves.

Eventually Ryan came around.  I am SUCH a good wife.

UPDATE: Holly who is awesome sent me the most magnificent artwork that has now been made into a t-shirt on Zazzle.  Thank you Holly! (I'll post the actual Zazzle link as soon as it pops up in their system)

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Tuesday Giveaway - Blue Monkeey Style

Hey Blogstalkers!

It's Tuesday and you know what that sometimes means - time for a giveaway!  Today's contest is especially appropriate given yesterday's announcement.  I hope you enjoy! (P.S. This is my last 'baby' themed post for a while I totally promise.  I'll be back with another pretty amazing post - if I do say so myself - on Thursday - with pictures, lots of pictures.)

Hi Everyone! I'm Renee and I run the Etsy shop Blue Monkeey.  Blue Monkeey is named for my daughter whose favorite color is blue and whose nickname is 'Monkey'.

First I would like to thank Lauren for giving me this opportunity and for thinking of me for her Tuesday giveaway series! A very brief overview of how Blue Monkeey came to be - I left the world of sales when my daughter made an early debut (by 6 weeks) 3 years ago and became a Stay at Home Mom. As my little baby started to grow hair I started buying her clips...As she got older (and was able to speak) she suddenly had an opinion on the clips and wanted them to match her outfit (example: she had a hedgehog on her shirt, had to have a hedgehog hair clip). If the clip did not match she would not wear it. 

Fast forward a bit - After getting tired of buying clips I decided to figure out how to make them myself. Soon I was making them for my daughter and family. My daughter started pre-school this year and I started getting compliments on her hair clips. After some encouragement and support from family and some positive feedback from her classmates' moms, I decided to try selling them at her school's holiday craft fair as well as opening up an Etsy shop and they were a huge hit! 

Once I opened up shop and created a Facebook Page and became public with friends, I started to get more suggestions and feedback for different products. I started off just making the felt hair clips (since that is what my little one was wearing and wanting) and hair clip holders (had to find a solution to better organize all the clips!) and have since expanded to making headbands (for kids and adults, metal and elastic) and hair elastics (for kids and adults). I love trying out new things and figuring out how to do something different (it keeps me from getting bored). What makes it all worhtwhile for me is the smile from my little one when I cave and let her have a new clip or headband :).

So enough background on the company...my GIVEAWAY for this wonderful Tuesday! I am offering a "Summer Bundle" (see picture for actual items). In the bundle there are 6 felt hair clips in summer themes (including a patriotic flower) and an interchangeable elastic loop headband. The headband is super soft and stretchy and has a loop so you can wear it alone or attach your favorite clip to it. The hadband is hand sewn. I personally LOVE these headbands and wear them all the time! 

In addition, I would like to offer a special discount to everyone here. From now until June 18^th 2013 save 15% on your entire Etsy order (www.etsy.com/shop/bluemonkeey) by entering coupon code TUESDAY15 at checkout. 

Thank you and good luck!

Renee

Thanks Renee!  Isn't her stuff awesome? (And SO affordable - most of her clips are under $3.50).  I pretty much wanted to buy thirty clips for myself when I first ran across her shop but Ryan was NOT all about that idea.  But now that I am having a small child I can totally stock up on hair clips.  Boys wear them too right?  I know my brother Davis did at least....though that might have been because he had four older sisters and we needed another pursuit after we got bored with painting his nails and draping his neck with feather boas....

Come to think of it I do remember my dad coming home from work and not being entirely pleased about Davisina's striking ensembles.  Hmmmm.

Anyway, her prize is fantastic and enormously suited to summer but I also wanted to show off some of my other favorites from Blue Monkeey.

Same rules as always apply.  To enter leave a comment.  A winner will be picked randomly on Monday.  May the odds be EVER in your favor Blogstalkers.

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OH Happy Day

Ryan & Lauren

Sitting On A Knee

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First Comes LOVE

Then (a very long time later) Comes MARRIAGE

Then Comes A Baby In A Baby Carriage.

We are so excited to welcome our first little bundle of joy in very early January 2014.**

**I'm actually due ON my 30th birthday.  We're pretty early along to be announcing this to the world but I will be writing about my pregnancy for another publication and as far as the internet goes I wanted all of you, who have been so incredibly supportive and all-together amazing, to know first.  I am so blessed in this life.  How on earth does a girl get so lucky?**

P.S. Now that there are more than 200 comments, to see yours you'll have to click on the "Load More" link at the bottom of the page.  I am beyond overwhelmed, in the most delightful way possible, at the outpouring of well wishes I have received here and on FB today.  I've never before uttered the phrase 'Aww Shucks' but it's come out of my mouth numerous times today and for that I have you all to thank.

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Rules For Life - A Completely Stolen Idea

Happy Friday Blogstalkers!

First I want to let you know that next week on this here blog is going to be like, EPIC so be sure to check back.  Also OJ will be here next weekend so that bodes well for the week after that.

Today though I am completely stealing The Bloggess' Rules For Life idea.  Forgive me.  Imitation is the highest form of flattery right? (Except when one of your best friends wears the exact same dress as you to the eighth grade dance and you are flat as a board and she has boobs to spare and you feel like she's shouting at you, "What!? I was just showing you how the dress is SUPPOSED to fit.")

Lauren's Rules For Life

Buy tights/nylons one size up from what the package recommends.  You will thank me.

Listen more than you talk.

Carry hairspray, it solves most of life's problems.  Among many other things it: removes ink stains and can be used as a substitute for pepper spray. (Do not use it to remove ink stains from all over your mouth after a pen explodes in your mouth.)

Say you're sorry.  Mean it.

If you must cut your own bangs, make sure you've not had any drinks beforehand.

Even if you don't think you need to pee, never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Just dance.

If you somehow humiliate yourself by running into a wall or accidentally slapping yourself in the face or literally slipping on a banana peel that someone has discarded in the middle of a crosswalk while you are on a second date just go with it.  Bow, curtsy, say "Ta Da!" and throw your arms up in the air, whatever.  It's much less embarrassing than crying or pretending it didn't happen.  You can cry about the banana peel thing whilst praying to the gods to please stop making your resemble nothing more than  a comic strip later when you are alone.

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. (This is from my dad.)

If you are new to working out with weights, read all of the instructions for all weight machines at the gym before using them for the first time.  Do not just assume you know what you are doing.  If you do not read the instructions and just dive right in you are not allowed to be upset when someone comes over and corrects you.  Also, never tell a trainer that is correcting you, "Oh I know, I use this machine differently than most people, to really target my heptoid muscles."  Trainers know all the muscles and they will call you on that shit.

Don't lick knives.  Even if they are covered in peanut butter.

If you learn how to ride a bike once, then you always know how to ride a bike.  The same can not be said about rollerskating.

This is a pretty standard one but, if someone is nice to you but mean to the waiter then they are not a nice person.

There are a lot of things to be said about an immaculately clean house.  One of those things is, A lot of time is wasted keeping your house immaculately clean.  I'm learning that clean enough is OK.

It's ok to take the cliche literally and totally judge an actual book by its cover.

I can almost guarantee you the words "throbbing" and "mewling" are used repeatedly in this book. (From HERE)

If at first you don't succeed, try try TRY again.  I find the fourth time is the charm for me usually.  I am very forth-right.

Learn to cook/bake one thing expertly.  Then you and everyone you know can call it your "Famous whatever".  Like...Lauren's Famous Chicken Salad or Vanessa's Famous Bruschetta.  (Before the chicken salad there was actually a delightful pork tenderloin dish.  But then there was a misunderstanding with my sister being all "Lauren and her FAMOUS LOIN are here!" during a family party.)

And lastly, don't ever be afraid to be exactly who you are.  This is dumb and cliche but I was scared to just be me for a very long time.  I'm so much happier now.  And slightly chubbier.  But hey, me likes cheese.

What would you add?  If anyone wants to tackle this idea (originally The Bloggess' idea) on their own blog, let me know and I'd be more than happy to link up to your post!

LINK UP LISTS
Milo Baines
Everyone On This Bus Is Drunk
Stories About My Underpants

Have a great weekend!

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